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How to overcome insecurities in a relationship

Updated on June 10, 2013

How insecurities effects a relationship

Insecurities can cause a lot of damage at any given point in time in a relationship, whether it be today tomorrow, or 4 years from now. It begins to cause distrust and deceit in the blink of an eye. People begin to question their relationship even though nothing is wrong with it. Its like a scab: you begin to pick at it, but when it's over you've got a mess. Let's face we all have some insecurities whether they are big or small. In a relationship, insecurities will sprout at any given time. They can appear out of nowhere for the simplest of things such as a comment. Truth is, that sometimes it's all in your head. Here are four main that can cause insecurities in a relationship.

Selling yourself short

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt as if you were the lucky one in the relationship? In other words you feel as if your partner could of do a lot better. The most common scenario is when your partner is highly attractive and has a lot of people wanting them (just so you know, not all attractive are shallow). Another one would be that you may feel that your partner is bringing way more to the table then you. When we feel like this we tend to question the relationship and overreact to every little thing. We also start to compare ourselves to their attractive and/or success friends or even their ex. This way of thinking is unhealthy in a relationship for it will cause a lot of jealousy and distrust. Don't let this feeling drag on or things between you and your partner will become worst.

Lack of appreciation

This feeling comes about when lately you realize that are trying to put that smile on their face that you did when you first got together and you get little to no reaction in return. This make can make you feel as if your partner is bored with you or that they maybe seeing someone else. Stop thinking so negative there is probably reason why they are distance right now so just give them some time. Always keep in mind that everyone needs some alone time away from their partner.

Past relationship

After dealing with relationships in the past that didn't work, you may start to think that there maybe something wrong with you, or you start to say "All men are dogs" or "Women aren't what they use to be". You begin to question the relationship when your partner start repeating a few actions of your past relationship. This can cause you to become distance from your partner, which may lead them to believe that you are up to no good. Don't let your past control your future!

Little communication

Whatever the reason that you're feeling insecure you need to speak up before you damage the relationship. Try to understand the reason that you are together is because they see something in you that they don't see in anyone else. Every now and then have a moment where you express yourselves. Don't be afraid to open up to your partner and tell them about your past relationships so they will understand why you may sensitive on certain things. Tell them about a few of your insecurities, this way they can understand you're coming from and will be more sensitive of your feelings. Above all don't believe that "he say she say" nonsense, this just causes misunderstanding and confusion. If you hear something about your partner, don't take matters into your own hands, but confront them if the problem is really getting to you.

Be confident

Be confident knowing that you are very special to them and that you complete a part of their life. There will always be people that will want your relationship to end (sad thing is that these people sometimes pose as your friend). Don't believe everything you hear (people tend exaggerate the truth when spreading some gossip). If someone makes you feel about yourself you should be willing to put your heart on the line; you may get hurt, but that's a risk you should be willing to take.


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    • rachitha profile image

      RACHITHA CABRAL 5 years ago from Mangalore

      An eye-0pener! Sometimes too much love drives one to be insecure and one may end up pushing the person they love to leave them.