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How to overcome shyness in bed? Tips for guys and girls to overcome nervousness and be less shy in bed

Updated on May 2, 2012
Shyness and nervousness are all part of being human. Here are some fab tips if you want to put nervousness aside and be comfortable with your partner in bed.
Shyness and nervousness are all part of being human. Here are some fab tips if you want to put nervousness aside and be comfortable with your partner in bed. | Source

"I am shy in when I am with my girlfriend in bed" "My boyfriend thinks I am just too shy in bed" "I want to be more confident in bed while I'm in bed with my girlfriend" "I want to overcome nervousness and stop worrying when I'm intimate with my partner" These are thoughts that plague even the best of us. This helpful post promises to stay away from cliché advice like 'Be confident' and talk about practical tips on how to overcome shyness in bed.

Be fit: Exercise your way to a flexible body

Sex is a physical act. You don't just think about it and it magically happens. Bodies are entangled and excuse Princesswithapen for the pun, but it takes some serious effort to get the job done. Couples may find it hard to be comfortable with each other in bed just because neither or one of them is not fit. If you find your confidence in bed taking a major hit because of similar issues, it may be time that you hit the gym and worked on flexibility and strengthened your body. No, we are not talking about magical transformations nor are we going to talk about crazy diets. All we want is to build up stamina and fitness to finish the race, if you know what that means. Aim to do more cardio and stretching exercises to get a more supple body to throw your shyness out of the window.

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Chop chop: Groom and trim your body hair

Unless you or your partner have a liking for overtly hairy bodies, it is in you and your partner's best interests to say goodbye to all that body hair if you want to be less shy in bed. Girls may want to visit the salon and get body hair waxed off and trim/shave the pubic area. Guys on the other hand would probably want to buy a body hair trimmer and remove excess body hair from the chest, shoulders, back, bum, things and without a doubt, the pubic area.

Tip for guys: make sure that you don't undergo any drastic hair removal procedures that you've never done before. Sudden changes to your appearances may make you feel more nervous and less confident about yourself.

Be clean: Take a shower and brush your teeth

While Princesswithapen takes the chance of sounding like a dotting mom telling her little kid how to bathe, it is important for you to remember to clean every nook, corner and inch of your body. Actively rub and scrub each and every inch of your body to be clean and feel absolutely fresh and more confident in bed. Not to forget, brush your teeth boys and girls. Without a doubt, bad hygiene will not only put off your partner but will also make you more nervous in bed. Bad odor and sweaty patches are an absolute no-no. And you really don't need to have an extensive ritual. All you need to do is take a nice and long hot shower or a bath before you and your partner embrace each other in bed.

Let your body loose: A stiff body can be a major turn off

Body language is one of the first giveaways of nervousness and shyness. The key is to be natural and be at ease with your own body. If you want to appear less nervous in bed, just act as if you are fully clothed and lounging around on the sofa. Yes, it is easier said than done but it is important to let your body lose because stiffness can be a major turnoff for both men and women. Guys may want to refrain flexing their muscles or making awkward poses to show off the last few month's hard work in the gym. On the other hand, women may want to push out their ribs to add oomph to the cleavage and tuck their bellies in. While it is tempting to do so, you must remember that these awkward movements are clear giveaways of 'trying too hard'. If you really want to be less shy in bed and want your partner to be comfortable with you, a natural and relaxed body language is the only way to go.

First impression is the last impression: Good underwear is the first step to being more confident as the layers of clothing come off.
First impression is the last impression: Good underwear is the first step to being more confident as the layers of clothing come off. | Source

Ladies and gentlemen: Wear good underwear

The phrase first impression is the last impression holds true to a certain extent, even in bed. Your underwear is the last clothing item that is going to stick to your body. Your partner is likely to form an image of you in his/her mind, in your underwear because that is the first impression of 'naked you'. Additionally, ill-fitting or wornout underwear can be a big blow to self confidence and can make you feel more nervous in bed. Girls should buy a nice pair of bra and panties or better yet, some hot lingerie. Guys should buy a pair of boxers or traditional underwear that fits well. Remember, good underwear does not mean expensive underwear. All you need to do is make sure that your inners fit well and are not shabby. After all, the last thing men and women would want to be caught wearing are loose fitting and worn out bottoms.

Tip for guys and girls: Avoid loose fitting underwear at all costs because they are very un-sexy.

Be curious: Curiosity killed the nervous cat

If nervousness if making your shy in bed, you may want to use your curiosity to kill it. Just be curious about your partner's body, emotions, mood, sweet spots and more. Your curiosity will automatically make you worry less and do more.

You are only human: Remember that your partner is probably as nervous as you are

While you can work hard to try to overcome nervousness in bed and be less shy, you must acknowledge that it is OK to be shy sometimes. We are all human and the feelings of shyness and nervousness are a part and parcel of being human. After all, if everyone on this planet never got shy and nervous, we'd all be walking robots around here. And you don't want to be a robot in bed, do you?

You should also remember that as a human being, no one is perfect – physically or mentally. So stop worrying about whether you are a skinny guy or an uber shy girl. The point is to embrace who you are and have fun with your partner in bed, rather than worry about being shy and making mistakes.

Protection and other miscellaneous tips

Always use condoms. You never know what kind of germs, infections or diseases are lurking around. If you think that your partner's choices to not use adequate protection is pulling you down, feel free to step up and say no. The last thing you'd want is to carry a nervous face while in the act and worse yet, catch a disease.

Don't expect yourself or your partner to perform like stars of adult flicks. Such expectations will only create higher levels of anxiety and worry of failure.

While you or your partner may be excited to do kinky stuff, it is best to avoid going to that level until you both are comfortable with each other.


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    • geegee77 profile image

      geegee77 5 years ago from The Lone Star State!!

      This was a great hub and I'm really surprised you didn't get more comments, well I agree with this hub and I loved it, it is true on all points and I'm about to pimp it on Hub Hoppers, voted up and awesome too, see ya on fb:) ge

    • Phil Plasma profile image

      Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      All great tips. I think your point about the underwear and about being fit are both very important.

      This is the kind of hub that I feel needs to have been written, I'm glad you did it. Voted up and awesome.