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How To Seduce A Shy Man

Updated on August 15, 2015

How To Seduce A Timid Man

It is not a secret that shy guys can be charming, loving and sometimes even torrid lovers. Shyness has its charm; you know a man who is shy is not the type that beds anyone who shakes her booty at him. In a way, a shy man comes with a “guarantee ticket” that they have not been sleeping around, and that for some women can be very alluring.

Personally I like a challenge, I like the “hunting game” and I take special delight in seducing and being seduced. Seducing a man is fun when he plays the game, but how to seduce a man who does not even dare look at you in the eyes? I’ll give you a few hints, but you need to promise me to come back and let me know if you managed to seduce your shy man or not. Deal?

A shy man can men seduced just as any other man, you just need to adapt your "technique" so he feels comfortable with you.

How To Seduce A Shy Man Step By Step

1) Tact and Patience

To start with, you need to be very tactful and patient when approaching a shy guy. You know you will have to make the first step, or he will never talk to you, but you need to do it indirectly. A woman who projects a hyper-confident image can scare a timid man. You need to approach him softly, start with a few timid looks, do not stare, and play your shy girl card to start with.

Once you have established eye contact try to keep it for longer periods at a time, smile at him. Let him know that you like him, that you want to talk to him. He needs reassurance, he needs to know that he is not mistaken and you really like him, so keep the look/smile game for a bit. Do not hesitate in playing the shy girl.

2) Simplicity

If there was only a single advice to give you to put at ease Mr Shy, it would be simplicity. Be simple and pleasant. Approach him with a sincere smile on the lips, with a simple greeting and simply strike up a conversation. This is not the time to show how confident or clever you are. If you approach him with a smile and just a simple "hello", he will be drawn to you instead of running away.

Most of the time a Timid Man will need that you take the first step but without hurrying things. Always wait for the good moment. With a shy man, everything is a question of measure.

How To Seduce A Timid Man If He Comes To Talk To You

If you play well the first part, without doubt Mr. Shy will know that you are after him and will find the courage to come and talk to you. When this happens, continue playing the shy girl but giving all the signals that you are interested in him.

If he doesn’t approach you, you might need to approach him gently. You could get closer and ask him a question to start a conversation, or you could mutter a shy “hi” from far away to see if he finds the courage to come nearer.

Once you have established contact, keep being patient. Do not hit him with personal questions. Let him drive the conversation, try to find what he likes, find some common ground and suggest meeting for that. For example, if you find that he likes Japanese food and you too, you could suggest taking him to your favourite Japanese restaurant.

The most important thing once he has approached you is to keep being patient. Do not invite him to your place on that first night; you’ll make him run a mile away from you!

A man's point of view: Why Are You Intimidating to Men?

The First Date

For your first date it is better if you let him choose where to go. The chances are that he will choose a place where he feels comfortable. It could be a park, his local pub, his sports club, it doesn’t really matter; just let him choose a place that he knows and feels confident with. There he will feel in control of the situation and knowing his playground will give him a subject for conversation.

3) Be Soft And Sweet.

Even if you are a tigress in bed, do not show him that on your first date. Remember to be patient, take it easy. Wait until he makes the first step. Do not jump on him kissing him and stripping him off. You’ll scare him away. Go softly, if things go well you will have enough time to show him all your bed tricks later.

If you are a sexually experienced girl, try not to mention it, you will just add to his insecurities and he will be concerned not to be up to your standards. Better keep that information private, at least for the moment.

Once you have managed to take him to your bed, his timidity will progressively leave him and who knows, he might show that under his shy cover he was a torrid lover!

A man's advice for Women: break this rule to meet more and better men!


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    • profile image


      9 months ago

      Thanks for the encouragement! Really worked on a guy a really liked but I was growing impatient with due to his shyness! Luckily being patient finally paid and he opened up!

    • profile image


      19 months ago

      What happens if I am myself a very shy woman as well?

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      It's often hard for me to confuse shy with "not interested."

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      lol very hard indeed - however they just need to know you are there for them and what they hae to offer is amazing.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I like shy men, and I have been dating one for about two months but I am finding it hard to know how he feels or knowing what he wants without having to always say how I am feeling. How can I get him to open up more and maybe want to see me more than just for dinner at a place where he feels comfortable? I am not sure if it is just me or if he is not ready for another long term relationship.

    • alamnoah profile image


      9 years ago

      If you want to seduce a shy man, all you need to do is to bring a laptop with you and a messenger software ;) Only kidding, the truth is that it's really difficult. i think a very wise thing to do is to start by making him feel confident about you, in other word, he shouldn’t be frightened by you :), this can be done by shy eye contact and very little smiles. Then, you need to provoke an incident, drop something near him, ask him for stuff he is reading ... whatever, even shy guys know that this is a sign of liking and would normally try to start a conversation.

      If all this fail, it's a waste of time, move on.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Girl, another awesome hub! And important one! Something so sexy about a shy man [half the time ha]

      Hope your having a super naughty Christmas



    • prasetio30 profile image


      9 years ago from malang-indonesia

      I am a shy guy and still single until now. Do you want to seduce me? hahaha....just kidding. Very informative and I really enjoy to read how you describe this very well. Thanks for share with us. Rating up.


    • JakeMcMurphy profile image


      10 years ago from Chicago

      I fully agree with your article. When you are approaching a shy or socially awkward guy you should take it slow and steady and approach him sweetly. Don't be overly aggressive and think that it will "bring him out of his shell." More than likely that type of approach will make him jump out of the nearest window.

      Most men that are shy are only shy in social situations and can be really sweet, kind, and interesting when they are comfortable. So give them time and take a soft approach.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      This method works! Shy guys turn me on. Play shy, they feel like a man, and he's yours.

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Really Stevennix? maybe we should "use" you as a control guy to see if this tips work ;-)

      You are welcome ADI

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Thanks for the interesting hub.

    • Stevennix2001 profile image

      Steven Daniels 

      10 years ago

      i must admit i'm a shy guy in real life, so this is a very interesting read here. although most girls i meet tend to ignore me,so i rarely get an opportunity to date. lol. however, i'm not bitter about it. as a good friend taught me to enjoy the little things, in life anyway. lol.

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      interesting question ryansjones. I guess it goes kind of half and half.

    • ryansjones profile image


      10 years ago from Snohomish, WA

      You know, just out of curiousity, I wonder who tends to be more shy around the other: boys being shy around girls or girls being shy around guys? I tend to be shy sometimes, but my shyness has dissolved over time (though I do tend to procrastinate on calling female friends, etc).

    • Anath profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thank you for stopping for the encouragement rprcarz50.

    • rprcarz50 profile image


      10 years ago

      Great Stuff. Since I am a guy you made me realize some things from the other side of the table so to speak. Oh, I'm a regular heterosexual guy. Anywayz, good Hub. Thank you ! Ron

      As always Alos a2z50 Keep on Hubbing


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