ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to share a mutual friend with an enemy

Updated on December 16, 2010

There is an old saying: "The friend of my friend is my friend; the friend of my enemy is my enemy." But what if one of your friends is friends with someone you preceive to be "an enemy?"

Do you disown the friend? Or do you make peace with the enemy? Or can you maintain a position of complete neutrality on the issue of this uncomfortable alliance between a friend and someone who is not a friend?

I've found myself in an analogous position, when two friends of mine had a falling out, and one of them accused me of betrayal when I wanted to remain friends with both. It's not a good idea to require a choice, especially when the complete facts about the falling out are not well known.

The same thing happens in the relations between nations. Taiwan and China are not friends. Each has claims to being the true government of the Chinese people. Each, in theory, maintains that the other is illegitimate. In order to recognize the current government of mainland China, the United States severed diplomatic relations with Taiwan. But Taiwan is a friend of the United States, and China is a country that the United States wants as an ally.

Sometimes, the best policy is to wait and see. We can't dictate to others who their friends will be. But if there is a real reason for an enmity, then eventually the truth will emerge, and there will be realignments. There's always the possibility that the enmity you preceive is due to a misunderstanding, and, in that case, you might be the one to change your mind. But if your perception of the situation is more accurate than your friend's, your friend may decide to back you up in case of a war.

Despite the severed relations between Taiwan and the United States, China knows that if it attacks Taiwan, the United States will not stand by and let it happen.

Diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Taiwan

Do you think that the United States should recognize the government of Taiwan?

See results

In Case There's a Fox


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Aya Katz profile imageAUTHOR

      Aya Katz 

      9 years ago from The Ozarks

      Ralwus, thanks for your comment. We can help the situation by keeping an open mind, but as you say, not everything is up to us and some things cannot be undone.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Ah yes, I too have had these relationships. It is sometimes hard to overcome the desire to choose sides. I usually am able to be diplomatic and with patience help the situation. Sometimes I have succeeded in healing old wounds, but no always as some things just can never be undone. Very intuitive hub dear, and thought provoking as well. peace, CC

    • Aya Katz profile imageAUTHOR

      Aya Katz 

      10 years ago from The Ozarks

      Tinae1236, it sounds like you have found a good way to deal with a difficult situation.

    • profile image


      10 years ago from dingmans ferry pa

      I had a similar thing happen to me just recently and the way I chose to deal with this is I am nice to the "enemy " as I can be to be good to the other friend and the reason we are "emenies " is only because he hurt me and won't apologize and until he does his new wife and I are friends and he has to deal with it. Like it or not.

    • Aya Katz profile imageAUTHOR

      Aya Katz 

      10 years ago from The Ozarks

      Glassvisage, thanks for the comment. Hope this hub helped!

    • glassvisage profile image


      10 years ago from Northern California

      Good Hub. It's never a good idea to make or present a choice. Nice example with the nations!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)