ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

How to solve relationship problems after baby

Updated on June 23, 2011

Yesterday I highlighted the many different stresses that can contribute to an unhappy relationship/marriage after the birth of a baby. Today I’d like to give some pointers on how to rectify these challenges. Of course if your relationship was in trouble before the labour pains began then you may need a little more work than these few simple tips, however, if you were so in love you couldn’t bear to ever think of separating, and now all you do is bicker, then these pointers may just get you back to where you used to be.

1) Defined Roles – I mentioned that not having defined roles can cause friction in a relationship. Maybe the mother is at home, the husband at work, but he expects the house to be spick and span when he returns, maybe neither of you feel like the other is pulling their weight. Some days, looking after a baby is easy, others you may be pacing the floor for hours trying to expel that elusive burp! At the risk of turning into your mother, a rota system is needed here. A not so long discussion on who should be expected to do what and when. Also the worker needs to understand that gone are the days when they finished work, had a few pints and returned home to a take away and a night in front of the TV. With a new-born, there’s ALWAYS work to be done, and it needs to be shared 50/50.

2) Housework – The house won’t be ultra clean, boxer shorts won’t be ironed and cupboards won’t be as organised as they once were, but in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? And if it bothers you that much, get a cleaner, (or sweet talk your mum).

3) Sex – Although you may not feel like it, you do have to give yourself a kick up the bum on this one. It may seem like so much hard work to muster the effort, but I do promise, once that effort is made, you will feel so much better, and so much more together. If you can try fitting it in earlier in the day when you’re both much less tired. You may not have hours to spare, but ten minutes will do you the world of good. If it is completely out of the question for whatever reason, make time to hold hands, cuddle, or even a stroke as you pass each other in the kitchen.

4) Family Relationships- Yes they change, and yes family and indeed friends will have lots and lots of advice on the right way to bring up a child. The trouble is, there is no right way. There may be plenty of handbooks, but no two couples are completely alike in their views on what is best for baby. Remember this, this is your child that you are bringing up your way and passing on your love, wisdom and morals to. Others are free to give advice, just like you are free to take it or leave it. In the world of mother in laws (as mentioned, my hubby bristles when my mum tells him he’s doing something wrong), stand firm together, support each other, your loyalty will reap the best rewards.

5) Sleep – Express Express Express. As soon as you can. Even just one night’s sleep a week will make you feel better, or even the thought of knowing that you could if you wanted to. Whether he’s working or not, the odd night won’t kill him, it hasn’t killed you!

6) Communication – So you don’t have time to have those lengthy chats anymore? Think again. How about when one’s cooking dinner? Baby will be happy on a shoulder being winded as you both unburden yourselves. Or even turning the TV off when baby finally goes to sleep at night? If you’re worried about being interrupted at a crucial moment, write a letter, send an email and make a promise to talk about it when you’re both home. The beauty of babies is, they have absolutely no idea what mummy and daddy are discussing. (Unless it’s an argument, save that for the garden).

7) Social Life – It may seem like you’ll never have a social life again, but this phase doesn’t last forever. Soon enough babies will be sitting up, eating solids and happy to spend the night at Grandmas and you’ll be happy to leave her. Just hang on in there, and if you can’t get out to party, invite the party to you!


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      SUZAN LEE 5 years ago

      This is lovely and sweet, my name SUZAN LEE, am from USA. i just want to say thanks u priesttomspelltemple@gmail.com, for reunite me and my sweet and most cherish boy friend. with this i announce to every one on internet that is not how far but how well its.thank priest tom for wonderful job well don.priesttomspelltemple@gmail.com.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is used to quickly and efficiently deliver files such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisements has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)