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How to stop your girlfriend from breaking up with you: Ways to save your relationship

Updated on March 23, 2014

How to stop your girlfriend from breaking up? This is not about the usual things you can do to make your relationship better. You must use drastic ways to prove your feelings and love if you want to desperately save your relationship from a breakup. From romantic letters to accepting mistakes and from saying sorry to laying your heart bare – find out how you can convince your girlfriend to change her mind and take back the words that pierced your heart.

A romantic letter has the power to change the course of your relationship.
A romantic letter has the power to change the course of your relationship. | Source

1) Write a heartfelt letter to your girlfriend

Even in the day of Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Plus, nothing can match the power of a handwritten letter when it comes to matters of the heart. Think about how you want to pitch your plea to your girlfriend and just let the words flow out on a piece of paper.

Keep writing until you have blurted your heart out. Here are some of the things that you may want to mention in your love letter.

  • The romantic moments you have spent with your girlfriend
  • The ecstatic memory of your first kiss
  • Cute habits that have shaped your relationship
  • Why you think your relationship is perfect
  • Sweet doodles that you know she will adore

2) Don’t lose your cool when you try to persuade your girlfriend to change her mind

Getting angry and losing your temper isn’t going to help when you try to convince your girlfriend to not break up with you. When you get angry you will probably say things that you will regret later.

It is obvious that your relationship would have been plagued by problems if it has come to the point of splitting apart. Seeing you in a state of rage will make your girlfriend feel that she took the right decision to part ways. Here are some tips:

  • Never get angry while discussing this with her
  • Remind yourself to keep calm every time you have a conversation with her
  • Walk out of a conversation if you think you are about to lose your cool

3) Make a commitment towards the relationship

A lack of commitment is a common reason why couples decide to break up. If your girlfriend hasn’t said this directly, you will be able to gauge if commitment is the real reason from some of these signs:

  • Your girlfriend has told you that she wants more from the relationship but hasn’t talked about anything in specific
  • She has said that your relationship doesn’t have direction
  • She has complained that you don’t know what you want from life

These are some of the hints that your girlfriend may have given you time and again to draw your attention to the fact that there is no sense of commitment from your side. Reflect on your arguments and find out if commitment is actually the reason why she is walking away.

If it is, you will have to take a stand from the perspective of the relationship. You must be willing to get over your phobia of commitment and be ready to accept that your relationship has matured to a beautiful level. Gather your thoughts and if you feel that you want to be in a committed relationship, say it aloud to your girlfriend.

Maybe a genuine, honest and unconditional apology is all that she was waiting for to run back into your arms.
Maybe a genuine, honest and unconditional apology is all that she was waiting for to run back into your arms.

4) Apologize unconditionally and say sorry for your mistakes

If your girlfriend is breaking up with you because you did something that hurt her feelings, it is pretty clear what you need to do to change her mind. Look into her eyes, hold her hands and give her an unconditional apology. Tell her how sorry you are and how much you regret making that mistake.

Accept your faults. Don’t try to correct her when she starts ranting and blaming you for all the problems that happened. A girl may not take a guy back if he has cheated on her, but other small mistakes and annoying behavior might be forgiven if the apology is genuine.

5) Don’t try to blame your girlfriend for your relationship problems

One of the worst mistakes you can make while trying to convince your girlfriend to not break up with you is to blame her for the problems in your relationship. Even if you think that she is directly responsible for some of the little issues that have crept up recently, keep mum because blaming her will send some of these signals:

  • You are unwilling to accept fault for the mess in your relationship
  • You always want to be right even when you are wrong
  • Even after it has come to the point of breaking up, you fail to see her side of the story

Your girlfriend will be enraged to the point that she will probably walk away from a conversation if you try to blame her.

6) Make a promise to your girlfriend and keep it

Differences, habits, personality traits and other trivial issues can snowball into deal-breakers that lead to a breakup. If there is something in specific which is making your girlfriend want to dump you, a tough decision will have to be made on your side.

You will either have to accept the breakup or make a promise to address that issue if you want to save your relationship. For example, if your girlfriend is breaking up with you because of the fact that you are friends with a girl she hates, you will have to take sides. You will have to choose between being with you girlfriend and stop talking to the other girl, or let your girlfriend break up with you so that you can keep talking with the other girl.

As silly and nonsensical as this sounds, sometimes compromises and sacrifices are the only things that can save a relationship. At the end of the day, relationships are all about making choices and setting your priorities straight.

Talk to your girlfriend's best friend about your heartbreak to see if she can help you out.
Talk to your girlfriend's best friend about your heartbreak to see if she can help you out.

7) Talk to your girlfriend’s best friend

Your girlfriend’s bff might hold the spare key to her heart if yours doesn’t work anymore. Go and talk to her bestie and blurt your heart out with sincerity and honesty. Try to convince her how madly you love your girlfriend. Lay your heart bare and get her on your side.

Listening to your emotional pleas should ideally convince her that you are the perfect guy for her best friend. If everything goes well, she will speak to your girlfriend and ask her to stick it out with you.

At a stage where your bonding with your girlfriend is a bit skewed, she might trust her best friend’s opinion more than taking your promises at face value.

8) Let your girlfriend vent: Be her punching bag

Everyone needs to vent emotionally. Maybe the recent mess in your relationship has driven your girlfriend to the point of frustration where she no longer sees you as a person who is willing to listen to her.

Strike up a conversation and allow your girlfriend to vent her heart out. Don’t try to be righteous. Let her blame you and call you names. She might even cry to let her emotions out but if you patiently hug her while she lets everything out, she will give you a hug at the end of it all.

9) Tell one of your best mates to talk to your girlfriend

Apart from your girlfriend, there is no one else who will be able to understand you more than your own best friend. Tell your buddy how devastated you are at your girlfriend’s decision to dump you.

Get your mate to intervene and be the mediator between the two of you. Maybe all your girlfriend needs is a third person’s perspective of how ugly the breakup is turning out to be. Your best friend’s plea on your behalf might convince her to reconsider her stand.

Subtly express your heartache on social media. Don't open yourself up to be ridiculed by being specific. Be vague and make it seem like you are just sharing touching quotes about heartbreak.
Subtly express your heartache on social media. Don't open yourself up to be ridiculed by being specific. Be vague and make it seem like you are just sharing touching quotes about heartbreak.

10) Subtly express yourself and your heartbreak on social media

A great way to get through to your girlfriend’s heart is to open up your heartache on social media. Tweet how sad you are, post quotes about breakup and relationship problems on Facebook, and upload heart wrenchingly sad selfies with those dull hues on Instagram.

The key to doing all this without becoming the laughingstock among all your other online friends is to be vague. Don’t take names and don’t mention specific situations. Let it all appear as if you are just sharing interesting quotes. But your girlfriend will definitely see through the subtleness and feel the pain in your heart.

11) Ask her out on a final date and tell her why she should not break up with you

Letters, text messages, pleas and promises – after you have tried everything you could have possibly done to save your relationship, ask your girlfriend out for one final date. Don’t make it fancy and keep it totally casual.

Sit across the table, hold her hand and tell her one last time why you think your love should be given a second chance. Be real and don’t dramatize the whole thing by getting angry or starting yet another fight. Let your heartfelt words make her feel that you are a keeper.

12) Give your girlfriend some time and space to reflect

After the final emotional last date there is nothing much you can do but wait. Don’t keep pestering your girlfriend with texts to ask her if she has changed her mind. Give some space and time for her to reflect on all the love, fights, arguments, apologies and pleas.

She will change her mind if your relationship is meant to be. If she is still adamant on breaking up, there is little more you can do but to hold on tight as life takes you on an emotional roller coaster. Be strong and always remind yourself that a little bit of time is all it will take for the wounds to heal and memories to fade away.


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    • stelaligizaki profile image

      Stella Aligizaki 3 weeks ago from Greece

      It is important to save relationships. I will follow your advice. Thank you.