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How to win over your boyfriend's friends

Updated on June 20, 2010

When a lone wolf suddenly pairs off with a mate, the other lone wolves slink off into the forest, wary of catching whatever ailment has befallen their comrade. They wrinkle their noses, as if he’s just sneezed over the buffet at a fancy Sunday lunch. To them, it stinks of betrayal. In fact, as far as his male friends are concerned, they might as well fly the flag at half-mast and sound off a twelve-gun salute. Another good man succumbs to the dark side of the force.

You, on the other hand, are floating around on an ignorant cloud of lust and young love, totally oblivious to this thunderhead of malice surrounding your fledgling relationship. Approval from his knuckle-dragging mates is the furthest thing from your mind.

Hawk-like scrutiny

Approval from his friends is as important to a man as approval from your friends is to you. Many women tend to neglect this fact. You will parade your new beau in front of your friends like a prize bull at the annual livestock jamboree, as he is judged top to toe on everything from cologne to clean fingernails. Over a sushi lunch you will boast to your girlfriends about his prowess in the bedroom, even the size and shape of his tackle. His car, his job, his parents, his house, his university degree, his pet. Everything is put under the hawk-like scrutiny of your friends.

Needless to say, the thought rarely crosses your mind as to what his friends think about you. Even if it does, you will assume that you will be judged on a similar scale. As they say about assumptions…

A whole new ballgame

Whereas your friends will be overjoyed, perhaps even jealous, of the fact that you have found a good man, his friends will be thinking the exact opposite. They will feel pity and cry treason.

Winning over his friends becomes a whole new ballgame and you need to play by a different set of rules. They do not care how well groomed you are, if you have impeccable manners, what job you do, or if you sympathize with the plight of orphans in the Darfur region. They only care about one thing: Will their mate ever be the same again? Sure, they may ask him: “So, is she good in bed?” To which he will simply reply in the affirmative. They will look at your boobs and your butt and draw their own conclusions depending on their personal taste. That will be the end of their “relationship” counseling. Nothing more will be said. The real test is how much you will change him.

‘Dude Enemy Number One’

Your first hurdle will be when he gets the call to join them for a drink. They will call, invite him out and then gauge his response. There are only three answers to this question: 1. “Sure, I’ll be there… alone.” 2. “Sure, [your name] and I will be there.” 3. “Sorry guys, I can’t come… you know… sigh.”

Answers one and two are acceptable. Answer three immediately marks you as ‘Dude Enemy Number One’. This doesn’t mean you should let go of his leash and let him gallivant all over town with his Neanderthal mates until all hours of the morning whenever he receives that call. But, in the beginning, try to resist that feminine urge to permanently bolt him in the stable and geld him for good. Trust is always an issue in new relationships. It must be earned, but you need to give him the space to earn it.

Easy recipe for success

That said… here is an easy recipe to win over his mates and become the best girlfriend in the whole world. Get the boys around to have a BBQ and watch the football at your place. Have snacks and food aplenty, and then simply offer to bring him back a beer if you head into the kitchen. Firstly, they’ll be well fed, and secondly, any woman that fetches a beer for their mate is as good as marriage material in their books.   


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    • ForgotMyLine profile image

      ForgotMyLine 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Good advice! XDDD