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I Don't Think My Girlfriend Loves Me Anymore Because . . .

Updated on December 24, 2012

Yes, this is another story about girls. I thought that "this" deep, probing and exposing story might be of some help going into the Christmas holidays and then into a new year.


Yes, there are still a few guys out there that are confused about whether or not their girlfriend(s) really love them or not, and these guys have way too much male bravado to ask a professional.


That's where I come in. I got the time, tools, and know-how to steer these poor men in the right direction . . .if they simply take a deep breath, relax and read my story entitled . . .


I know that my girlfriend doesn't love me because . . .

she begs strange men to shoot photos of her in a thin sundress on a windy day, and when we are on  a date.
she begs strange men to shoot photos of her in a thin sundress on a windy day, and when we are on a date. | Source

OTHER TELL-TALE signs that your girlfriend or wife doesn't love you anymore

She finds more entertainment in watching cockroaches than making love with me.
She finds more entertainment in watching cockroaches than making love with me. | Source
On our wedding day she ran from the altar and was found outside the church singing "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen."
On our wedding day she ran from the altar and was found outside the church singing "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen." | Source
She just sits on the stairs in our house and stares into space.
She just sits on the stairs in our house and stares into space. | Source
She got "sick" on our wedding day five years ago and hasn't recovered.
She got "sick" on our wedding day five years ago and hasn't recovered. | Source
She loves to swig whisky out of a coffee cup rather than talk to me.
She loves to swig whisky out of a coffee cup rather than talk to me. | Source
She demands that we eat at home all of the time so she won't be seen with me.
She demands that we eat at home all of the time so she won't be seen with me.
She sleeps all of the time.
She sleeps all of the time.
She insists that we sleep with our backs to each other sitting up in bed.
She insists that we sleep with our backs to each other sitting up in bed. | Source

WHEN WE ARE DINING OUT

she ingnores me as she flirts with every halfway-good-looking bloke in the restaurant, blowing kisses at them, going to their tables and asking, "do my panties match my dress?" and yes, exposing them to the embarrassed man. She then giggles, struts back to where I am sitting and says, "got a twenty on you, I need cab fare because that man over there is taking me home."

SHE KISSES ME "ONLY" ON THE FOREHEAD

whereas she used to, about a week ago after we wed, would plant one more passionate kiss on my lips even if I were going to the corner to buy a paper.

SHE SIGNS UP FOR WEBSITE DATING SERVICES

and if that isn't enough, she applies for, and gets weekend gig's with our local escort service. I ask her out of concern, "am I not enough man for you?" she looks me up and down and then caves-over in a hysterical, hyena-like laugh. And our first year wedding anniversary is next Monday.

STRANGE MEN ARE CALLING OUR HOUSE AT ALL HOURS

to talk to her. For hours on end. At first, I thought it was some of her college friends, but I overheard her one night say, "yes, hot stuff. This is Flame Lereux, what can I do for you? Ohhh, what am I wearing . . ." and on and on. When I confronted her about this, she said, "you are so jealous. Get over it. And besides I talk to whomever I want on the phone. I tried to understand that, but she talks to guys in a sexy voice on her cell phone when we go out.

SHE GOT UPSET LAST WEEK

when I balked at changing my name to "Fredrico Gomez," and she screamed, "it's just when we make love. Not in daily life, you fool."

HER GIRLFRIEND "BUBBLES" CAME OVER LAST NIGHT

and she and my wife made out on the loveseat in the living room. I thought at first that "Bubbles" was one of her sorority sisters that she had not seen in years, but turns out "Bubbles" is a lesbian call girl. But it's still a mystery because my wife swears she is not a lesbian. Or bi-sexual.

SHE GOT REALLY ANGRY AT MY PARENTS LAST CHRISTMAS

when they objected at her wearing just a red bra and a skirt that revealed her womanhood no matter how she sat or stood. "your parents are prudes, you jerk," she barked at evening dinner. Oh the evening wasn't a total loss. My uncle "Chester," a single man of 65, smiled for the first time in 15 years after his wife, "Jessica," passed away. You see, uncle "Chester," slipped my wife a hundred dollar bill to sit on his lap.

WHEN WE ARE ALONE AT HOME

and I start to be romantic with her, she jumps up and starts dusting the house that was professionally-cleaned two days ago. "cleanliness is next to, uhh, that God thingy," she giggles and proceeds to dust all evening then takes a long bath and goes to bed. I think to myself that this is a sex game she wants to play with me, so when I retire to bed and say, "so you are playing "naughty maid," with me, she screams, "you pervert! I am exhausted from cleaning "your" house. So go to sleep."

WE HAVE TAKEN UP WALKING AFTER DINNER

I wear khaki shorts and walking shoes. She wears a halter top and a short skirt with no panties and begs me to walk with her past new construction sites across town for as she puts it, "I love it when those sweaty construction workers yell perverted things at me when I wiggle my butt," and I give-in as usual. I think she is going through a phase.

AT OUR LOCAL WALK-IN THEATER

she will not sit with me, but with any single man or any man with his wife or date. "I have this phobia about dark places and need two or more people near me so I won't be scared," she says later. I feel better at her telling me this. But she never told me that when we met in a walk-in theater, she was totally-alone, sitting in the dark, watching "Die Hard With a Vengeance," and smoking a "reefer."

WHEN WE ATTEND A COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME

she goes missing for hours. Seems that she has this "appreciation" for men's locker rooms with young men in them. Some girl I married. Always doing the unpredictable.

WHEN SHE WENT CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

she came home with over $5,000.00 worth of gifts for a "Frank," "Billy," "Kevin," and some man named, "Chad." I used to think that she lived by the axiom, "'tis better to give than to receive," but I found out that these guys were just a few of them men she lived with when we met, and the funny thing is they still call her often. I guess she is the type of girl who cannot turn loose of her former life.

SHE SOMETIMES CALLS 9-1-1

and tells the police to hurry to our house that she has a gun and will use it. The cops arrive and handcuff her. That's why the loves to be arrested, being handcuffed for hours while strange men in uniform question her in a secluded room.

and finally . . .

LAST NIGHT SHE SAID

"you do love me, right?" "sure," I said. "well then, give me a few hundred dollars and your American Express Card, for me and this new guy at the bar we like to go to, wants me to give him a guided-tour of the town. He's just moved here from Vermont and has no job or money, so hand it over. . .NOW!" And I do. But does she have to take this new guy on a guided-tour of our town dressed so sultry that any pole dancer would squirm with embarrassment.

Now guys who are confused about if your wife or girlfriend loves you or not, do you think that you can make it from here?

This information is priceless, but since it is Christmas, I am not charging you a red cent for this helpful information.

Funny thing. As I was finishing-up this story, my wife came to me and said, "I need your car and $500.00. I have this, uh, "friend," in the next town that I want to drive over and surprise for the holidays."

Now being an expert on such things, what do you think "I" did?

You are right. I handed her all of my cash and car keys and she kissed me on the chin as she left.

My wife is a big kidder at Christmas time.

My girlfriend doesn't love me because . . .

she had rather sleep with our pet retriver than me.
she had rather sleep with our pet retriver than me. | Source

Comments

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    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear sweetie1,

      Thank you kindly for reading and commenting on this hub. Some of this text, is humor, but some truth is hidden in each point. I am so very glad that this made you smile. That is the main goal that I have set for myself, to make YOU and all of my cherished-followers smile and forget what may be bothering them.

      Love ya, KENNETH

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 

      5 years ago from India

      Ofocurse your gf don't love you anymore if these signs are there. But I don't know why I find this funny. Esp the flirting point. Made me smile.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      My Dear DDE,

      You are, sadly, right. "Some" forms of love do not last forever. It's those magical, illusive forms that I chased after and never caught that lasts forever.

      I wish I had your insight.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Gypsy Rose Lee,

      I did, leave one of the girlfriends I had. She was a tyrant. I mean I was given the "third degree" for being five minutes late; accused of cheating on her all of the time; told me how to dress, eat, speak. Enough was enough. And nuff said.

      Thanks, dear friend, for your comment.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Niteriter,

      Thank you, dear friend, for the sweet wish. I carry so many emotional scars that I could pass for Freddie Kruger.

      But life goes on. And so do the two-faced, using girls that I dated. Some are wealthy now, while some are living life to the fullest and after I wrote them just how sorry they treated me.

      Some people, I guess, are immune to karma.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Ahhh, my good friend, breakfastpop,

      You may be right. I may be crazy . . .(oops, sorry. No Billy Joel today. I don't feel that sharp).

      Sensitive? Yes, I was then when dating girls, those that would date me and yes, I am now. Soooo that was my problem....go figure!

      Wow, my good friend, breakfastpop solved in one comment a problem that had been haunting me for years.

      Thanks, sweetie.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, MHatter,

      Some, yes. Some, no. I'd rather not tell which is which, but I "can" say that some of my personal experiences were WORSE than these.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      The things you say that makes you think your girlfriend doesn't love you anymore are true. Love doesn't last forever.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      lol That was extremely eye-opening and amusing to say the least. If all of this stuff really happened to someone I'd be surprised that he wouldn't have left that woman a long time ago after the first three incidents already. lol Hope all your wishes and dreams come true in 2013!

    • Niteriter profile image

      Niteriter 

      5 years ago from Canada

      I empathize with you, Kenneth. I do hope you recover from the emotional mauling you endured and find the courage to love again!

      It was a good chuckle. Cheers!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 

      5 years ago

      I think you are being too sensitive!!!!!!!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      5 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. Hopefully this is not from personal experience.

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