I Don't Think My Girlfriend Loves Me Anymore Because . . .
Yes, this is another story about girls. I thought that "this" deep, probing and exposing story might be of some help going into the Christmas holidays and then into a new year.
Yes, there are still a few guys out there that are confused about whether or not their girlfriend(s) really love them or not, and these guys have way too much male bravado to ask a professional.
That's where I come in. I got the time, tools, and know-how to steer these poor men in the right direction . . .if they simply take a deep breath, relax and read my story entitled . . .
I know that my girlfriend doesn't love me because . . .
OTHER TELL-TALE signs that your girlfriend or wife doesn't love you anymore
WHEN WE ARE DINING OUT
she ingnores me as she flirts with every halfway-good-looking bloke in the restaurant, blowing kisses at them, going to their tables and asking, "do my panties match my dress?" and yes, exposing them to the embarrassed man. She then giggles, struts back to where I am sitting and says, "got a twenty on you, I need cab fare because that man over there is taking me home."
SHE KISSES ME "ONLY" ON THE FOREHEAD
whereas she used to, about a week ago after we wed, would plant one more passionate kiss on my lips even if I were going to the corner to buy a paper.
SHE SIGNS UP FOR WEBSITE DATING SERVICES
and if that isn't enough, she applies for, and gets weekend gig's with our local escort service. I ask her out of concern, "am I not enough man for you?" she looks me up and down and then caves-over in a hysterical, hyena-like laugh. And our first year wedding anniversary is next Monday.
STRANGE MEN ARE CALLING OUR HOUSE AT ALL HOURS
to talk to her. For hours on end. At first, I thought it was some of her college friends, but I overheard her one night say, "yes, hot stuff. This is Flame Lereux, what can I do for you? Ohhh, what am I wearing . . ." and on and on. When I confronted her about this, she said, "you are so jealous. Get over it. And besides I talk to whomever I want on the phone. I tried to understand that, but she talks to guys in a sexy voice on her cell phone when we go out.
SHE GOT UPSET LAST WEEK
when I balked at changing my name to "Fredrico Gomez," and she screamed, "it's just when we make love. Not in daily life, you fool."
HER GIRLFRIEND "BUBBLES" CAME OVER LAST NIGHT
and she and my wife made out on the loveseat in the living room. I thought at first that "Bubbles" was one of her sorority sisters that she had not seen in years, but turns out "Bubbles" is a lesbian call girl. But it's still a mystery because my wife swears she is not a lesbian. Or bi-sexual.
SHE GOT REALLY ANGRY AT MY PARENTS LAST CHRISTMAS
when they objected at her wearing just a red bra and a skirt that revealed her womanhood no matter how she sat or stood. "your parents are prudes, you jerk," she barked at evening dinner. Oh the evening wasn't a total loss. My uncle "Chester," a single man of 65, smiled for the first time in 15 years after his wife, "Jessica," passed away. You see, uncle "Chester," slipped my wife a hundred dollar bill to sit on his lap.
WHEN WE ARE ALONE AT HOME
and I start to be romantic with her, she jumps up and starts dusting the house that was professionally-cleaned two days ago. "cleanliness is next to, uhh, that God thingy," she giggles and proceeds to dust all evening then takes a long bath and goes to bed. I think to myself that this is a sex game she wants to play with me, so when I retire to bed and say, "so you are playing "naughty maid," with me, she screams, "you pervert! I am exhausted from cleaning "your" house. So go to sleep."
WE HAVE TAKEN UP WALKING AFTER DINNER
I wear khaki shorts and walking shoes. She wears a halter top and a short skirt with no panties and begs me to walk with her past new construction sites across town for as she puts it, "I love it when those sweaty construction workers yell perverted things at me when I wiggle my butt," and I give-in as usual. I think she is going through a phase.
AT OUR LOCAL WALK-IN THEATER
she will not sit with me, but with any single man or any man with his wife or date. "I have this phobia about dark places and need two or more people near me so I won't be scared," she says later. I feel better at her telling me this. But she never told me that when we met in a walk-in theater, she was totally-alone, sitting in the dark, watching "Die Hard With a Vengeance," and smoking a "reefer."
WHEN WE ATTEND A COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME
she goes missing for hours. Seems that she has this "appreciation" for men's locker rooms with young men in them. Some girl I married. Always doing the unpredictable.
WHEN SHE WENT CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
she came home with over $5,000.00 worth of gifts for a "Frank," "Billy," "Kevin," and some man named, "Chad." I used to think that she lived by the axiom, "'tis better to give than to receive," but I found out that these guys were just a few of them men she lived with when we met, and the funny thing is they still call her often. I guess she is the type of girl who cannot turn loose of her former life.
SHE SOMETIMES CALLS 9-1-1
and tells the police to hurry to our house that she has a gun and will use it. The cops arrive and handcuff her. That's why the loves to be arrested, being handcuffed for hours while strange men in uniform question her in a secluded room.
and finally . . .
LAST NIGHT SHE SAID
"you do love me, right?" "sure," I said. "well then, give me a few hundred dollars and your American Express Card, for me and this new guy at the bar we like to go to, wants me to give him a guided-tour of the town. He's just moved here from Vermont and has no job or money, so hand it over. . .NOW!" And I do. But does she have to take this new guy on a guided-tour of our town dressed so sultry that any pole dancer would squirm with embarrassment.
Now guys who are confused about if your wife or girlfriend loves you or not, do you think that you can make it from here?
This information is priceless, but since it is Christmas, I am not charging you a red cent for this helpful information.
Funny thing. As I was finishing-up this story, my wife came to me and said, "I need your car and $500.00. I have this, uh, "friend," in the next town that I want to drive over and surprise for the holidays."
Now being an expert on such things, what do you think "I" did?
You are right. I handed her all of my cash and car keys and she kissed me on the chin as she left.
My wife is a big kidder at Christmas time.