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I Have No Idea What Happened In The Shower This Morning

Updated on February 7, 2011


We’ve all done it, right? Gone through an intersection and then wondered if the light was green when we went through it. In most cases, the light was of course green, it registered somewhere in your unconscious and you proceeded safely through the light, you just don’t remember it and it sort of freaks you out a little. Well as I was toweling off I realized I have no idea what happened in the shower this morning – Don’t Get Me Started!

I’ve written before about the fact that when I’ve been heavier than I’d like to be in my weight I will go months not looking at any part of my body unclothed from the neck down. Truly I could be gangrene in my nether regions and never have the slightest clue. But in this case, this is not what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about willfully ignoring portions of your body. I’m talking about the fact that I couldn’t remember if I had washed my hair, face, ass, anything, I just knew I was shutting the water off, grabbing my towel and getting out. Now of course it doesn’t take some sort of app on your iPad to figure out that you have indeed washed yourself but it’s a little freaky to think my arms and hands were doing their job without a driver in the driver’s seat that is my brain.

I’d like to tell you that when I came out of that shower I had come up with a more suitable approach to health care or figured out why we as Americans don’t take to the streets like the Egyptians when we see Harold at our local gas station changing the prices with his big stick the moment there is unrest anywhere in the Middle East. Honestly, what is the deal with that anyway? I think that the gas station owners must have those sticks sitting next to their Barcaloungers and the minute their wife sees anyone with a head wrap on doing anything on television it’s like, “Harold, get out there and change those numbers, someone somewhere with a sheet on their head is doing something. If they stay on CNN for another hour we’ll be able to afford that winter house in Florida!” And can anyone explain to me why gas has a .9 in the price? Couldn’t they just round up all ready? Ugh. But I digress.

You see, I like to think of myself as a multi-tasker, someone who is able to be like a seal at the zoo – able to balance a ball on my nose and clap my flippers all at the same time. So I would like to think when I zone out and “lose” the ten minutes I spent in the shower , I’d like to think that I was actually thinking of something I needed to get done or something that was important to mankind or at least my cats. Such was not the case this morning because you see, I was so freaked out about not knowing what shampoo I had used or anything I had done in that shower for the last ten minutes that I completely forgot what I was thinking about when I was in the shower (if I was thinking at all). I think that’s what scares me the most, to think that I might have actually had my mind completely clear of thought, sort of sleep showering. I pride myself on living in the extremes – very happy, very sad, very angry, very…well, you get the idea, no “just okay” status in my life. So to me, that means always thinking about everything from how many calories are in a sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies to what they do at an office I passed once with a sign in front that read, “Valley Bible Offices” do they handle all the bibles for the valley? And what would that entail? After all, the bible is all ready written so it’s not as if they’re handling the re-writes or anything. Why does the bible need an office? And what if everyone in the office had to dress like “biblical times” and carve everything into stone tablets instead of using computers? And then maybe they could put on shows like the Medieval Times people. Which in that case I guess they would need an office because someone has to find two lemurs for the whole Noah show. Yes, these are the things that go through my mind on a regular basis. Perhaps not important to anyone but me but needless to say there is ALWAYS an internal monologue going on in my head, except for this morning.

I get that when people meditate or clear their minds from thought this might be what it feels like, but in those cases you’re trying to think of nothing. If I’m going to completely clear my mind, I want a little credit for it, I don’t want my mind to just shut down on its own. What if this is like that noise your car is making, you ignore it because it doesn’t really seem to be affecting the way the car drives or anything but then suddenly your car stops and you take it in and the mechanic asks you if it had been making a noise and you’re like, “Yeah, it sort of was but the car seemed to run okay.” Then he asks you, “How long was it making the noise before the car stopped?” And you’re too embarrassed to say it’s been doing it for the past year so you put one finger to your chin and after an appropriate amount of time has passed you say, “Hmmm, I’m not really sure but I don’t think it’s been that long.” Maybe this is my mind telling me that it’s starting to short circuit or shut down. Is this what drunken blackouts feel like? Is this the start of the end? If so, I must start writing everything down. Hmm, I all ready do that and while that may help on a usual basis it doesn’t help when I have no idea what happened in the shower this morning – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • marshacanada profile image

      marshacanada 6 years ago from Vancouver BC

      Lost moments...they seem to increase with age.

      Very entertaining hub.

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 6 years ago

      Dearest Mr. Morning Java-Pal!

      Welcome to my world! I too, pride myself on the ability to do mental gymnastics with little effort! And I am an avid meditator so I know how to clear my mind at will!

      But those 'lost' moments of no recollection fall into neither catagory! Yep, it's usually the shower that gets me too, so I wonder where else I am 'losing it!' I've gotten out of the shower and an hour has passed that I can't account for - nor the freezing cold water I didn't feel!

      We are just way too distracted in our busy lives!

      Or at least I like that thought better than my wits have gone on holiday!

      Blessings to you both and the fur-family!! EarthAngel!

    • Mrs. J. B. profile image

      Mrs. J. B. 6 years ago from Southern California

      YOU ARE GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love love love your sense of humor. Thanks