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I Love My Curves
Big Girl, in a Small-Minded World
I have lost and gained so much weight over the last few years, and even though I have lost some weight I am still what some would refer to as the plump, chubby, or yes, even the fat chick. I use to cringe every time someone called me those things, but now it does not bother me. I feel so good about myself now that what other people think of my body does not matter to me.
At my highest weight my life seemed so awful, I couldn't even walk through the mall without getting disgusted looks or rude comments. Everyone I ran into treated me as if me being fat was interfering with their live, it got pretty bad. I spent many a sleepless night crying, and praying that God would one day make me skinny so that all the name calling would stop.
I mean how in the world did people think calling me a fat cow, would help make me want to lose weight. When someone is depressed the last thing they want to do is eat lettuce or exercise. Me being fat was mainly my fault, with a little extra help from my PCOS, but I sure didn't like being treated like I had some kind of plague. I mean I can't even count how many people accused me of being lazy, just because I was fat.
I have been on dozens of diets, and exercise plans over the years. None of them ever worked except my current regimen of yoga, paired with some low-impact aerobics, and a few healthy eating habits. All those strict, low-calorie diets ever did was make me sick and hungry, and the strenuous exercises made my joints ache. Most of the time, I would last about a week or two, at the most.
The main thing that changed my life, and the way I feel about my body, has to do with me changing the way I let others opinions and harsh words bother me. Below I will be going over how I made the emotional journey that finally lead me down the path I needed to be on, in order to learn to love my body regardless of what others may think.
Changing for Myself
One morning, while I was sitting around having myself a random pity party. I realized that I needed to put a stop to living my life the way I was living it. My daily routine consisted of doing everything that was making me miserable to begin with and I had to make a change.
Not only was I letting my weight, and poor self-image destroy what little confidence I had, it was also controlling my personal life as well. My relationships were horrible, I went from one abusive relationship to the next. I also allowed myself to be placed in some pretty messed up situations due to me thinking I could not do any better.
I realized that for me to be treated like the woman I truly was, I had to start taking everything negative out of my life, so I did. Little by little I starting taking everything that was hurting me or causing me some type of distress, out of my life.
Throwing Out the Baggage, Losing the Spare Tire
The first thing I started with was my body, I knew that diets were pretty much useless. So I chose to make healthier choices instead of dieting. The weight started falling off like crazy, which was when I realized that in order to lose weight all I really needed to do was eat sensibly.
I also decided to add a little exercise to my daily routine, which was so much more fun than sitting in my bedroom and crying all night. Yoga and low-impact workouts are what I usually do, but I sometimes add in some heavier workouts as well.
Taking control of my weight was not as hard, as I use to make it seem. The real problem was that I use to want to lose weight to please others, and not myself in order to be able to make changes you plan on sticking with, this is something you have to do for yourself.
Realizing My Opinion is the Only One That Matters
The next thing I needed to change was how I let others make me feel about myself. I did this by learning to embrace the fact that others views, and opinions about me are their problem, and not mine.
This one was a hard one to adjust to at first, but before I knew it, I was finding myself not really caring what others thought about me. I even talked to a few of the people that would give me dirty looks in the mall. I found that their whole demeanor would change, once I greeted them with a friendly smile, and said hello.
What is your biggest Happiness Blocker
Getting Rid of the Scum in My Life
After losing some weight, and gaining a little confidence, I knew i needed to end any and every toxic relationship I had in my life. I was literally dropping so-called friends like flies, anyone who was using, or abusing me was out of my life.
I knew in order for me to be happy, I couldn't have anyone in it, that would keep me from being the best me I could be. Which is why I was single for sometime, until I met my husband. I only let positive people in my life now.
Loving Myself, and My Body
The last thing I needed to change was the way I felt about myself. Even though I had lost a ton of weight, I am still a little chubby. I needed to learn to love myself, and the body I have. I started embracing my curves and loving myself, and I realized just how fantastic I began to feel.
It has took me some time to get to this point, and I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything. I finally love my body, every single curve, and lump. I know how hard I worked to get the body I have now, and nobody else can ever change that.
Comments
Great Hub! Getting rid of the negative people was a very good choice. Of course, like many other aspects of our society,greedy capitalists have deceived, and brainwashed millions of people into buying their weight loss products and systems. I also have no love for the cosmetics industry.
I have always found full figured women to be as attractive as the skinny ones. When I was in high school there were several girls that some might consider "fat" that liked me. I liked them too, but because of my youth and the peer pressure, I did not allow a relationship to develop with any of them. I only dated the skinny girls because they were considered more acceptable by my peer group.
I did not feel as many of my peers, but I was ignorant, easily manipulated, and I was seeking their approval. Now I understand that I only allowed them to steal a part of my life that I can never recover. But of course, in our society women who are healthy, and who do not need to be skinny, are made to feel less than so that various commercial interests can exploit the basic human need for acceptance.
It is good to know that you were able to see the ignorance of the world around you and then rise above it. Osiyo!
I LOVE this hub! Your words ring so true and are words I hope are read and taken to heart by every young woman!
We ARE all different...this is a wonderful thing. The unique individual each of us is, makes the world a better, stronger, more loving place. Our talents, compassion, generosities and achievements are WHO we are......NOT numbers, whether age, height, weight, money, material things.....YOU are BEAUTIFUL just as you are!.....UP+++
Hi I know the feeling, and lots of folks I know feel the same way. Somehow to be fat is sinful and becomes a dart board. Nowadays, people even go for surgery which may be a necessity in certain cases. I admire your courage to face your fears and do something to conquer them. People used to make fun of me for being too skinny. You can't win if you listen to others. Pinning, Blessings, Audrey
Next time you look into the mirror remember , Someone loves you just the way you are AND when people get to know you , they can't live without you ! Have a perfect day beautiful woman !........:-}
I love my curves too, and I am glad you love your curves! We are woman and meant to have curves. You are beautiful inside and out and I am glad you are realizing that fact, pretty Mary.
You are smart in realizing about making the healthier choices and not saying the "D" word ... that really is more of a life style change than a diet for sure, which is the key.
I believe God did answer your prayer by revealing to you just how He sees you which has allowed you to see yourself as He does and not worry about those others.
Yes, away with the toxic relationships. I am proud of you.
God bless you
Up ++++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing
- AUTHOR
Thank you guys, for all the sweet comments.
Looks don't last no matter who a person is. Everything is changing in this world all the time -- that's the one constant -- and looks are no exception. Personality, intelligence, sense of humor, and compassion for others are far more important and likely not to change much over time.
While being excessively overweight can affect one's health adversely, in most cases with diligence and determination, it can be changed. I know because I have lost a lot of weight over my life too. I had a great aunt who had to be buried in a piano case because no coffin was large enough. So the potential is there.
The thing is, one can change being overweight in most cases if they decide to do that.
Personally, I don't think one's weight is the business of anyone but oneself. I know a lot of people try to make it their business and behave and speak as if it really is their business. I really think if they would put as much effort into learning compassion (if that is even possible) and developing their intelligence, as they put into demeaning and cutting other people down, which requires very little intelligence, the whole world would benefit, especially themselves.
So glad to read that you have a handle on this issue and you're past letting pin heads with no manners spoil your day.
Voted up and BAUI. Sharing with followers. Pinned to Awesome HubPages.
Your hub will inspired a lot of people who suffer from the same..., to be very overweight. But who makes that rule? In Africa man find voluptuous woman beautiful. Indeed it comes down to the fact that we FIRST have to love ourselves, before we can truly love others. I friend of mine manipulated a photo of herself by slimming her body down and then she hanged it next to the mirror where she would look at herself each morning. She then added feeling that made her feel attractive while brushing her teeth while looking at her slimmer self, and gradually the weight came off! SIMPLE! Voted up!
Congratulations on changing your lifestyle and now being comfortable with yourself. People need to realise that we are all different and what works for one doesn't work for everyone. Also you can't tell by looking at someone why they are the way they are. There are often medical problems such as thyroid disorders or physical disabilities that stop them being able to exercise (my wife is in that group). Just because someone is overweight doesn't mean they are lazy and overeaters. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, you are no exception Mary.
I am so proud of you Mary, thank you for all the information. I know what you mean, and I was bullied in school and I learned to love myself and everything became better in my life.
Blessings and Hugs.
Awesome hub, you look beautiful and it is good that you have stopped to pay attention to what the rest of the world say. Nobody is perfect. I also lobe my curves, by the way :)
- AUTHOR
Thank you so much Tami, you are beautiful, everyone is. Life sometimes has a way of making us forget that, but through meditating and spending time with the right people. It gets easier for us to find the true beauty we all possess.
Great Hub! I am sharing it with my daughters who are 20 and 21..It is so difficult to come to a place to truly love yourself. Good for you! I am 53 and still struggle with this--which is not good for me our my daughters. I have, however, gotten much better over the years at getting rid of toxic relationships in my life. Voting up and following!
- AUTHOR
Thank you ladies, I feel so free now that I no longer care what others think about me.
Enjoyed your hub and I say the same - Good for you!
Good for you! It us so hard to be confident when people are always judging! Great hub, beautiful pictures and awesome message!
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