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I Make Shit Up

Updated on April 27, 2010


In speaking with a pal recently I discovered something about myself that I had either not known before or didn’t want to admit. I make shit up – Don’t Get Me Started!

We were talking about someone we both knew but had not been in contact with for years. I said, “She got married, had a child and I think she’s out of the show business now and being a stay at home mom.” As soon as the words came from my mouth I realized that most of the statement had no basis in actual fact. Well, none that I could point to anyway. I do remember an email from her at one point telling me she had gotten engaged and I kind of remember the pregnancy thing from someone else telling me I think but the whole stay at home mom business I know I just completely made up on my own. So after I thought about it, I just said to my friend, “But I don’t know because I make shit up!” I don’t know why I do it but as I reviewed many of the things I’ve told people, I discovered that a lot of it is a work of fiction rather than based in reality.

I truly don’t think that I do it from a malicious place in my heart, I think I do it more to make the story more interesting or because it’s what I think should or would happen. Still, I know it doesn’t make it right. But on the other hand, it’s more interesting than saying, “I don’t know.”

My spouse is always telling me that I’m never allowed to repeat anything he says because of the inaccurate way I repeat what he says. The reason for this is that if you told me something and then put a gun to my head I couldn’t repeat it exactly as you said even with my life hanging in the balance. It’s because I don’t just take in the words you’re telling me, I’m also taking in your body language and your tone and mostly I’m allowing how it hits me emotionally to reshape what you said in my mind. If you are standing there with your hands on your hips, rolling your eyes and saying, “I thought it was a great idea you had to put that shirt with those pants.” And someone asks me what you said, most likely I’ll say you said, “God, you don’t know how to dress, you have awful taste for putting that shirt and pants together.” I know, it may not make any sense to you but somewhere in my head it does.

I like to say that we all have our own mental illnesses it’s just that some of us have it more in check than some of the rest of us. This is definitely one of my mental illnesses. And yet if you examine the two statements above I’ll stand by mine. You see the original statement was just that, a statement. The way I interpreted it takes in the whole body language and makes it more interesting. Yes, I realize this is all rationalization but remember that whole business about mental illness? Voila – there you have it.  

I could sit here and make up a hundred excuses as to why I do what I do but I think by now you must realize that if I were to do that I would most likely once again be making shit up. So I guess what this is more than anything else is a sort of disclaimer that when you read my blog you may find that some of it is the truth, some of it is truth has been embellished and some of it is just a fairy’s tale! I make shit up – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • profile image

      Jackie Eldridge 6 years ago

      I make shit up too! And get paid for it!

    • D'ArcyOliver profile image

      D'ArcyOliver 7 years ago from effort :/

      Love this...really, completely relatable (I realize that's not a word, but I thought it was) and hilarious. I also make shit up all the time. I realize it, I just choose to perpetuate it! Then again, I'm a writer, so you really can't trust anything I say either. This reminds me of Armistead Maupin's The Night Listener- there's a bit, pretty much just like this, referred to as Jeweling the Elephant (I apologize with much embarrassment if you're already familiar with it... it's just that I live in a town full of illiterate neanderthals. So I apologize, again). love love love this post

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Ladies, not to scare you in a stalker type way but how I wish I were there with the two of you sipping coffee and laughing together.

      Sorry to hear about the broken leg/hip but even sadder to hear about the home schooling - get that kid back to school as soon as possible unless you plan on having four hundred more kids, home schooling them all with Holly Hobbie bonnets on their heads and getting your own show on TLC!

      Love you both and thanks for clearing up the whole dragonfly business. I've always thought they were evil too!

    • profile image

      Molly's Mom 7 years ago

      I'm visiting Molly, each of us sitting here with our cups of coffee and our lap tops in place.

      I crack up laughing and turn to her and say...

      Have you read SomelikeitScott's Hub today?

      She clicks and we die laughing.

      Lately around here there isn't much to laugh about.

      Her almost 7 yr. old has a broken leg/hip.

      Is now being home schooled....

      So your Hub started our day laughing.

      It should have been longer, even if you had to make more shit up!

      Great .. and thank you Scott

    • MotherHubber profile image

      MotherHubber 7 years ago from Southern California

      This is so true, and so relatable. I make shit up, too!!

      I think that what you do is a real skill. Like you said, anyone can repeat words like a friggen parrot. However, it takes a certain skill set to interpret body language, context, and then add little creative flourishes of your own to make what the person "actually said" into what the person "meant to say."


      PS One last thing - when you're a parent, you get to make shit up and no one bats an eye. Kids ask the most random crap. How many people live in the United States? About a zillion. What's the difference between a dragonfly and a butterfly? Dragonflies are a little bit evil. Are there people in the character suits at Disneyland? No.

      The list goes on and on!