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I Remember When We Couldn't Stop Touching Each Other

Updated on June 19, 2013
Ph.D's in Chemistry
Ph.D's in Chemistry | Source
My Beloved Wife
My Beloved Wife | Source

Days of My Youth--Kuiokalani Lee

An Opening Letter to My Beloved Wife and Best Friend

Hi, Sweets!

At some point in time, one of our children or grandchildren will find this letter and share it with you.

I'd love to have done the honors myself, but you've made it very clear to me that you don't want me writing about our personal life for all the world to see.

As much as I love and respect you and your wishes, it's a stance that I am indisagreement with.

The thing that I know you will never understand--and, believe me, I'm totally okay with, because only another writer might ever understand--is that the entire experience of mankind is up for grabs. You see, honey, a writer writes because he is compelled to tell the story...and NOT just any story, but the story of his truth.

Of course, there is the sanctity of marital privacy. I totally get that.

But in the general lay of the literary land, the only real way I touch the hearts and trigger the minds and kiss the souls of others is to share in the celebration of life. There is a way to do so without breaking boundaries, and I do my very best to tread carefully in that matter.

To NOT share our general experience is to stifle my voice. Late in life, I found my voice. And so if I run recklessly in the Alps with the sound of my music, please indulge me, my darling, and my juvenile antics. I am a silly man, a month or so shy of his 61st birthday--if I am so blessed--returning for just a short season to the clarion call of my youth...your youth...our youth.


Hauoli La Hanau!
Hauoli La Hanau!

One Husband's Memories about Touch

I remember when we couldn't stop touching each other.

Holding hands.

My arm around her shoulder as we sat, her head comfortably pillowed by my shoulder.

Hugging in the moonlight. Hugging in the zenith of the sun. Hugging under covers. Hugging for all the world to see.

Playing footsies below the table while playing UNO above.

Touching in passing. And I was always sure to make a lot of passes.

Rubbing her back as she read the book of poems I'd written for her 23rd birthday.

Wiping each other's tears with kisses on the cheek.

Bumping foreheads in the midst of belly laughs.

Writing letters with our fingers on each other's back. Trying to decipher each other's love message.

Whispering delightful secrets in each other's ears, the sensuous tickling a three-course meal served along the entire length of our spines.

Touching. Constantly touching.

Drawn to each other, ecstatic in each reunion.

Suffering painfully with each separation.

Speechless...our bodies doing all the talking at every next rendezvous.

Touching. Constantly touching.

Brandishing our doctorates in chemistry.

And biology never found us on the truant's list, either.

Changes

Lovers eventually awaken from the dream.

Passion of Narcissus gives way to Madonna and Child.

A young husband silently struggles to blaze a new path as he relinquishes his place in the sun to a yet unseen entity.

I capitulated, and in the surrender, I found new joy. Mornings found my face close to my wife's belly as I conversed for hours, it seemed, with the life force within her womb. I spoke, not in childish gibberish, but as an adult to an equal, completely awestruck by the majesty of the moment. I sang songs, reported the latest parental updates, and shared with the life in utero about its grandparents, uncles and aunties, cousins, and extended family and friends.

My wife and I still touched each other, but in a different way. There was someone else now, and there needed to be a shifting of priorities to accommodate the novel presence, to find and establish a working equilibrium, and to explore new and theretofore uncharted territories of love.

As our unborn child grew and developed, I found myself having to grow up, too. I struggled with my desire to have things return to the way they'd been the first three years of our marriage. I wanted to have the same intense level of passion. I wanted to feel the exhilaration of being number one again. I wanted more attention, not less.

And just as soon as I'd feel these things, I would be racked with guilt. How dare you feel this way, Joe? Get it together, man! You're a father now! Time for you to man up, son!

I would carefully observe other fathers with their children. In the universal way of men from all over the globe, I emulated the behaviors of those who I thought exhibited the genuine qualities I wanted to have as a father. While I continued to struggle with my selfishness and self-pity, I sincerely desired to be a good daddy to our child.

In time, we were blessed with two delightful babies, a boy and a girl, born six years apart, far enough where each experienced, in a fashion, oldest child and only child syndromes. In addition, perhaps thanks in part to this experimental father speaking to them while they were still in Mommy's belly, both turned out to be Alpha children.

Reflections in the Present

And so it is that on this late Spring day, as I walk along a country road, the dense tight coils of alfalfa with their amazing array of purple flowers in the field on my left and the sweet peas adorned with spiraling green tendrils and maroon flowers in the field to my right, I think of my better half.

I am a good five miles away from her.

And over three decades removed from when we couldn't stop touching each other.

Our children are now young adults, immersed in that same season of life when their lovely young mother and I had once known the heat of a thousand suns. It's a different world, to be sure, but it's the same familiar story. They each now have their own special someone.

My wife and I...we've changed.

Our love has matured over time. We can sit in the same room without having to sit on each other's lap. We can go for hours without saying much of anything to each other, and, frankly, we're okay with that. A date can be as simple as shopping for potential treasures at yard sales or thrift stores. She loves to read. I love to write.

The only thing superlative in our life is Sunday night when I'll take her to the local cinema and watch a certain young man from Krypton light up the screen.

These are some of my thoughts as I walk along this country road.

Once upon a time, we couldn't stop touching each other. And yet, in truth, our hearts and minds and souls are so intertwined that there's always this figurative umbilical cord connecting us. Man may very well someday have the technological know-how to build bridges from continent to continent, but he'll never be able to replicate the love connection I have with my wife.

Writing--One Way of Touching Others
Writing--One Way of Touching Others

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  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 3 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    You are very welcome, Lena! And thank you for stopping by to read, acknowledge, and comment on this personal essay. Marriage certainly has its fill of love/hate moments...we are, after all, fallible human beings, and there's no more intense magnifying glass on the range of who we are as individuals than marital intimacy. Thank you for sharing your testament. Blessings and aloha from SE Washington state!

    ~Joe

  • CampbellLena2013 profile image

    Lena Campbell 3 years ago from Maryland

    I have been married for about 5 years it will be 6 in December and sometimes he drives me so crazy I'd like to punch him in his nose but our love is so strong it has withstand so much in the passed five years that it made use closer. I think the key to having a lasting marriage is being each others best friends. I hope ten years from now i will still be holding his hand. thank you for sharing your hub I love it

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thank you, TIMETRAVELER2, for indulging along with me in a nostalgic trip to yesteryear. Young love is a powerful force, and time is the fertile soil in which the passions are tempered and redirected outwardly and for a greater good. It is the way of life...every so often, I need to lean on those memories in order to empathetically listen to, understand, and effectively guide my adult children. Always, always, I keep in mind that my body may be in its senior attire, but my mind and spirit belong to a young man reveling in the power of touch. Thank you for connecting with me...and so many others...here on HubPages, my friend. Aloha!

    Joe

  • TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

    TIMETRAVELER2 4 years ago

    All I can say is that this hub gave my youth back to me. Thank you so much for writing such a beautiful and heartfelt article. You and your wife are so fortunate to have one another...I know you cherish every moment with her as I do with my husband...but, oh...to be young again! Voted up!

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Back at you, Maria! Thank you so much for gracing my hub with your lovely presence and uplifting comments. You know, that means a lot to me at my age to hear someone tell me I really have it going on. LOL! I am delighted to be a resident of this community. Every day, there's something akin to Tinker Bell's fairy dust that rubs off from one loving Hubber to another, and this magic sends ripples through our site. I never forget that my actions here--and hopefully they're a nice balance of professionalism and lightheartedness--are intended for the good of the community. So far, the feedback confirms my own limited awareness that I'm doing my part to share the love, as are you, dear friend. Thanks so much for making my day. Aloha, and have a wonderful weekend, Maria!

    Joe

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    Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

    Dear Joe,

    You really have it going on...

    You have a beautiful and balanced loving relationship with your lady.

    You never back down from a challenge, whether walking for health or your current 30/30 Hub contest.

    You are a fabulous "100" and going strong...Congratulations!

    Voted UP and UABI. Big hugs, Maria

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Jo! Just came from your most recent hub and was delighted to find your comments on mine. First of all, good morning to you. It's raining over here, so no walk today...at least for the present time...but certainly a wonderful milieu for coffee, eBay work, and writing.

    I'm glad you shared with me the fact that your husband enjoyed this piece. I like it when I hear from or about men who can relate to my thoughts about marriage, family, and being a Christian man. Either directly or in between the lines, I try to plant seeds of genuine witnessing. So far, the garden has abundantly thrived! : ) My adult children know that any success their father may have had in life was directly proportional to the times I listened to their mother. By saying this, I've said a mouthful about how grateful I am to God for having gifted me with the best thing that ever happened to me--my beloved wife. Aloha, and thanks for stopping by, Jo! High fives to hubby as well!

    Joe

  • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

    Jo_Goldsmith11 4 years ago

    What a beautifully written article with so much love and respect in the words you described of your love with your beautiful wife!

    This is awesome and so amazing! You have expressed the depth of what true love means, and my husband has enjoyed reading this too. He is the reader, I am the writer in our blissful and blessed union. Shared, Up ++ and tweeted.

    Many blessings for you, Aloha! :-)

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thank you, Sue!

    In the midst of the 30/30 Challenge, it was certainly very delightful to have this "respite Hub" to indulge in nostalgically. Thank you for sharing in this hub experience and for your gracious comments. Aloha!

    Joe

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    Susan Haze 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Joe,

    I am enchanted by the strength of love between you and your wife. How lucky you are to have each other. I loved the journey through you life and love. Definitely up, awesome, and oh so beautiful.

    Sue

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Martie!

    Oh, and most definitely, thanks to yours truly, the knucklehead, there were many a hard time in our life together. Some people's journeys through life are a bit more meandering than others. : ) But it's where paths and hearts re-merge and, ironically, form even stronger bonds that really counts. The fact that human beings can have such staying power in spite of so many shortcomings is what truly makes us a romantic race of creatures in this oh, so temporal existence. Aloha and blessings for a wonderful new week, Martie!

    Joe

  • MartieCoetser profile image

    Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

    Oh, this is a lovely-lovely tribute to your beautiful wife. I am actually crying.

    I am quite speechless - not used to this kind of beautiful confessions of happiness and joy. (Oh, and I know, of course, there would have been some hard times - no-one's path is without obstacles - there are actually more thorns than roses on a bush.) But all the time you were connected, or you re-connected successfully - and so true, once the hearts and minds and souls are intertwined, physical contact becomes superfluous.

    Beautiful hawaiinodysseus! Couples like you keep marriage the heaven on earth desired by all humans.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, ignugent17!

    You are most welcome! Thank you for stopping by and sharing in this universal experience!

    Aloha!

    Joe

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    ignugent17 4 years ago

    It is always nice to read about love and how one person expresses it to the whole world. You got a woderful wife . Thanks for sharing your romantic letter.

    Have a great day! :-)

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thank you so much, Rajan! It's wonderful to receive such uplifting comments. One of our storage units where we stash our eBay items got broken into. It's too early to determine if anything got stolen. The manager and a security person are reviewing the videotapes. But when something like that happens, it really throws a cog into the daily itinerary. Anyway, my point was that life is like that, and yet love always finds a way to rise to the top, giving us just enough of what we need to get through. My wife is my very best friend, and I like it like that. Aloha, my friend, and may you, too, have a wonderful and memorable weekend!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Roslynn!

    Well put, my friend! At each stage in life, we encounter new and unique chapters in this book of love. We cope with the new challenges we encounter through improvisation, compromise, and a whole lot of patience. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Aloha!

    Joe

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    Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

    Awesome write, Joe! I believe all of us pass through these moments of love and feelings and you brought them out so well in the magic you weave with your words.

    You indeed are a gifted writer and it is a pleasure to read your writings. Always!

    Have a great weekend ahead, my friend.

    Aloha.

    Rajan.

  • Roslynn7 profile image

    Roslynn 4 years ago from Europe

    Love means you can sit in silence for hours and just our hands touching. Beautiful article.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, vandynegl!

    Thank you very much for the wonderful insight, my friend. As the years pass, we hopefully learn to adapt to the many changes. The theme that keeps recurring for me is the awareness of how very important it is to be mindful of the moment we're in. It truly is the only reality we have. Glad you stopped by again! Aloha!

    Joe

  • vandynegl profile image

    vandynegl 4 years ago from Ohio Valley

    I love the beautiful words you share here! I think we often wonder about that touching and passion and what will happen to it. I know that with children in the picture, things definitely change. It is hard for some couples to realize that the relationship is simply maturing and the two must make themselves a priority together again. I think that when people realize this, they can actually strengthen their relationship.

    Great words and glad I read this!

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Pamela! What's extremely valuable to me is that I'm getting excellent vibes and feedback from both men and women. That touches me to the core...because it's the best reinforcement this self-centered man can get that he might just finally be GETTING IT. My wife has voraciously read and then strategically placed so many marriage and family books in my my path. Like a dumb ox (and with apologies to bovines everywhere), I have always come up with excuses as to why I'm not reading more. Anyway, as I'd been sharing with others earlier, I think things are finally falling into place. And now it's my job to memorialize what I've learned through my writing. Thank you very much for your kind and gracious visit and comments, Pamela! Write when you can because you are an amazing and talented writer, and I'm proud and honored to follow your work.

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hey, Theresa!

    What you've shared here means the world to me. I'm not good in the natural in regards to being other-centered. My wife has patiently demonstrated what that looks and feels like, and I've gone through the motions. In recent times, however, and perhaps especially because I've gone on long walks this year, I've had time to really reflect on the things that are important and lasting in life. And I sincerely believe I'm seeing the light. I'm still a knucklehead, but my writing reflects what's inside of me. Thanks for reading this because I have no idea what I just said. Bless your heart, Theresa, and know that I'm trying my very best!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thanks, Billy! I've taken mental note of vanilla mocha; juicy cheeseburger; and maple bars! Perfect! All of those things are easily available within a quarter mile radius, and there's a nice park where we can sit at the benches or lie down on the soft grass and watch the clouds in the sky as we shoot the breeze!

    Special showing of Man of Steel tonight, If Rita's up to it, I'll take her...otherwise, it'll be on Father's Day. If you were here, it'd be a guys' night out! Ha-ha!

    Aloha, my friend, and thanks for the responses to my questions!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thanks, Wayne!

    Like the Beatles said, "It took me SO LONG to find out...I found out..."

    I've always been slow on the uptake in regards to maturity. My wife's patiently helped me through the years. It's kinda like my body is showing the age, but there's a Peter Pan inside of me. Ha-ha! I'm glad you stopped by and shared in this hub experience, Wayne!

    Aloha and blessings from SE Washington!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thank you, dear Jaye!

    I am very blessed, that's for sure, and now you'll know every time you read one of my Hubs, especially the ones about the walks and the eBay niches, why I might utilize certain phrases or allusions to things or events. You'll know the reason I am so motivated to take full advantage of second chances we're afforded by grace. Have a restful evening, Jaye, and I'll see you at the next Hub!

    Joe

  • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

    Pamela Kinnaird W 4 years ago from Maui and Arizona

    I do hope your beautiful wife is not mad at you for sharing your thoughts on this sensitive subject. So eloquently written. I've sort of lost my zest for writing the past few months, so it was thrilling to see someone who has not. Your writing has become a powerful force in getting us readers to think and think deeper.

    I enjoyed the part, too, about how you felt when your first child was born and you were not getting as much attention. I think this is common for a man to feel this way although I've never read it in first person. I know it was a balancing act for me each time we had a child born and it's not something a wife can say too much about to a young husband or he will clam up and not share his feelings.

    This hub is very special. Voting up, awesome and sharing.

  • phdast7 profile image

    Theresa Ast 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

    A touching, beautiful, sensitive, and well-written hub, really a tribute to your wife, testimony tot he different kinds of love we experience in a lifetime. You and your lovely wife are blessed and fortunate to have found and "kept" each other. This if the first hub of yours that I have read. I am impressed and moved. :)

  • wayne barrett profile image

    Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

    What a beautiful description of love maturing. great piece.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Today, Joe, my drink of choice is a vanilla mocha. Oh how times have changed. :) Although I shouldn't, I think I'll have a juicy cheeseburger when we meet, and snacks I limit, but I do love maple bars. :) We had better plan on a very long visit my friend.

  • JayeWisdom profile image

    Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

    Ah, Joe...What a glorious love letter to your beautiful wife! She can't help but forgive you when she reads it. What woman wouldn't bask in the glow of a tribute to your life together and love for each other?

    Voted Up, Beautiful and Awesome--and shared

    Jaye

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Arun!

    Your kind words mean a lot to me, Arun. The seasons of life have a sweet fragrance when love permeates a relationship. I am very thankful and blessed that love has advanced and grown deeper roots in my significant relationships with wife, children, extended family, and local as well as global communities. HubPages is a grand platform with which to spread that love. Just as you are doing, my friend...

    Aloha!

    Joe

  • ARUN KANTI profile image

    ARUN KANTI CHATTERJEE 4 years ago from KOLKATA

    Joe- Six excellent hubs in a row.You are moving forward inching towards the goal. Thank you for sharing such sweetest things in life.

    Aloha.

    Arun Kanti

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Kari!

    I'm so grateful for your uplifting and love-reinforcing words. Yes, on with the journey and all the wonderful new twists and turns it presents us with. I am very grateful for you and the rest of our very, very loving and warm community of writers. Thank you for taking time to read this hub and share in the love experience. Aloha, Kari, and have a wonderful day!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Good morning, Mary, and I do mean GOOD MORNING after reading your beautiful words. Thank you so much, my East Coast buddy! I hold you in high regard, and I am thus blown away, elated, and relieved....yes, relieved...because there are certain hubs that I write that initially feel like I'm jumping over the edge (Niagara Falls comes to mind). I'm scared to publish these kinds of hubs, and yet when the feedback comes trickling, then rushing in, especially like yours today, I can finally exhale and say to myself, "Okay, then...THAT adventure turned out well...but one of these days, you're gonna go overboard." That is my writer's dilemma at times. I definitely need a break, so I might push out some eBay stuff for a while. That's not fair to my eBay hubs--I enjoy doing a good job with them, too, but you know what I'm trying to say. My heart can only take so much adrenaline kickstarts! Guess I feel safe to ramble in my thoughts with you, Mary, kindred spirit that you are! : ) Congratulations, my friend, on 46+ years! I daresay you and hubby may very well see the 4th generation of Craigs at some point. Lotta love in your clan, that's for sure! Aloha, sweet tillsontitan!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, ComfortB!

    Thank you very much for your visit and for sharing in this hub experience, my friend. Our son does a lot of traveling, and so we have a keen interest in the places that he does specialized work at. Was there a tornado or series of weather disturbances in your area lately? If not, then fine. If so, I'm glad that you're okay. I appreciate your input, and I wish you continued success here on HP and beyond!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Great quote, Suhail and your dog! : )

    Thank you for your innovative comments, my witty friend. Hope the weather is conducive to wonderful outdoors exercise, work, and play for you and yours. Aloha!

    Joe

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Pamela!

    You make an outstanding point about falling in love again and again. Thank you for stopping by to share in this experience. We continue to pray for Oklahoma's healing, and I'm thankful to see that you are okay, Pamela. Aloha and blessings from SE Washington!

    Joe

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    Kari 4 years ago from Alberta, Canada

    Love the journey. Writing letters on backs is something I haven't thought of in forever! (I think I will do that tonight!)

    I'm sure that when she reads this she will forgive you for sharing, because it is hard not to appreciate a love note like this.

  • ComfortB profile image

    Comfort Babatola 4 years ago from Bonaire, GA, USA

    hawaiianodysseus, I truly enjoyed reading your hub. You seamlessly illustrates what true love is about. Even when no words were spoken though in the same space, that love never cease to exist. May the good Lord Continue to hold you both together. Looking forward to your 31st Anniversary story.

    Simply beautiful. Thanks for sharing. :)

  • Suhail and my dog profile image

    Suhail Zubaid aka Clark Kent 4 years ago from Mississauga, ON

    Dang! I don't feel I am the only one anymore.

    This isn't typically my kind of hub, but I loved it.

    “So you do believe in... true love? she whispered.

    I took a deep breath, I think I have to, I said, blinking back tears. Without it, we're all going nowhere.”

    ― Juliet Marillier, Wildwood Dancing

  • Pamela N Red profile image

    Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma

    In long term relationships we fall in love again and again. You don't really fall out of love but you have to find new reasons to love your spouse because as we age we change.

    Great story. :o)

  • tillsontitan profile image

    Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

    Oh Joe, you certainly "touch the hearts and trigger the minds and kiss the souls of others is to share in the celebration of life." Your writing does all of that.

    I loved this hub because it brought me back to the time when "we couldn't stop touching each other". I hope everyone has a time like that in their lives. Like you, our touching has taken a back seat, but like you, our love has not. Forty-six years and counting, four children, seven grandchildren, and the list goes on. Its all about love my friend and from your writing I know you are well aware of that!

    Voted up, useful, awesome, and beautiful. Shared too.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Liz!

    Oh, thank you, little sister, for your beautiful words. I can tell you that I am in awe over how fast the time has flown by...again, I refer to that gorgeous photo of you and your little one. My guess is that she's on her way to being a big girl now, and that there's a part of you already wondering, "How in the world did she get from HERE to THERE so quickly?" Men get to certain points in life in a rather elliptical fashion. Women know instinctively that their primary focus is the child who needs a diaper changed, a bottle of milk (or nature's original method), a warm blanket, a binky, or to be held. Most guys I know, especially yours truly, don't get this message clearly until maybe years later. Oh, we fake it and we make it, but half the time, we're secretly wondering, "What happened?" Then, one day (and thank God, it's never too late, not while we're still breathing), it hits us how selfless our women have been. And then, if we're half the men we try so hard to show the world that we are, we then are open to accepting what a higher form of love is all about. And that's when a lot of things start opening up to us...and, almost mysteriously, that's when our women begin warming up to us. It really is a sweet mystery, alright. I'm oversimplifying, of course, but my path is similar to those of so many other men. I know what I'm trying to say, but I may not have the right words at my grasp to express it. Thanks, anyway, for "listening," Liz. I appreciate you, even if you fibbed about being middle-aged. LOL! (Some things a man won't let go of until he gets an answer.)

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Kawi, thanks for those beautiful and enlightening words. I was initially tempted to think it's a Hawaii thing. We come from a culture, after all, where affection is at the heart of everything. But from the comments I've been receiving, it sounds like the core concept of this article and all things related are universal issues.My intent was to present the man's point of view, and yet quite a few women were right there, identifying with the theme(s).

    But,now, bruddah, I am going to lighten up a bit and write a few articles about eBay related items. I'm also working on a hub about a walk I had in Hilo back in March. By hook or crook, I'm going to either succeed at this 30 Hubs in 30 Days Challenge...or go out "futless!" Ha-ha! Now there's a throwback island word, for sure! Aloha, Kawi, and may you and your family have a wonderful rest of the week and a great weekend! In case I forget come Sunday, Happy Father's Day, brah! Aloha and mahalo!

    Joe

  • Radcliff profile image

    Liz Davis 4 years ago from Hudson, FL

    True love is beautiful at any stage, isn't it? We tend to focus on the passionate, touchy-feely phase, as if it's the only time we're truly in love. But as love matures, touching goes beyond the physical, becoming a spiritual connection that is strong enough to endure. Such a glorious tribute to a lasting love. Thank you for sharing your heart, Joe.

    And I LOVE the photos.

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    How gracious of you, WND! Thank you very much for those kind thoughts. It's amazing, the things that come to mind when I'm walking or even working outside in the yard.I'm especially blessed and grateful for my wife because I almost lost her...on two separate occasions a few years apart...to a rare form of leukemia. Thankfully, she pulled through, but her immunie system was greatly compromised. Her great faith, love of family, and pleasant disposition have kept her going all these years. Maybe it was just a pipe dream, but I wanted to work really hard on both eBay and HubPages so that at some point of time, she would have a few streams of income to sustain her when I'm gone. : ) This is NOT the same HubPages I joined--Google has done enough of a number on this system...but that's neither here nor there. I stick around because I truly love the people I've met here...simple people like you and me, but with hearts of gold and an amazing wealth of talent. You can see just from the comments we mutually receive the kind of warm and loving community we have. Those things are absolutely priceless! Thanks for being a terrific part of that equation, WND! Aloha!

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Tom! Hope the weather in Massachusetts has been wonderful recently and that you've been able to do some work or recreational activities outdoors. I enjoyed mowing my lawn and doing a lot of weeding in the flower beds yesterday, all the while thinking about something I could write. I'm thankful I came up with this hub idea and that you and others have enjoyed it. Thank you very much for your feedback, Tom--something I really treasure and take to heart. Aloha, my friend!

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Very sweet and eloquent of you, Nancy. I am blessed that men AND women both have enjoyed this piece. We all have different pasts and relationships and other factors that contributed to who we are today, but there is definitely a universal theme here in this hub that just about anyone can relate to. Thank you for taking the time to read this article and share in the experience, Nancy! Aloha!

    Joe

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    KawikaChann 4 years ago from Northwest, Hawaii, Anykine place

    Bruddah Joe, I can totally relate to this. My wife and I are the same way, I wonder if it's a Hawaii thing? Keep on writing my friend, it's soothing to the soul.

    Although my wife feels the same way about my writing, she knows that I sometimes write about our family without 'really' writing about our family...lol. Upvoted/beautiful. Peace. Kawi.

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    wetnosedogs 4 years ago from Alabama

    Hawaii,

    Your wife is a real beauty.

    Truly hope that if your wife would find out, she will be okay with it because this hub is wonderful and glorious because you wrote about the love of your life. But I'm not saying a word, she won't hear it from me- LOL.

    I know where she is coming from though. If I hub some family thing, I ask first if I can.

    Your wife can be absolutely proud of you.

    Great, super great hub and best to you with your own 30 day challenge.

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    Nancy C Moores 4 years ago

    Joe,

    I sit here in tears and awe of this beautiful love story. I have put it on my facebook for others to be able to enjoy. I have related to a lot of it, but not to the longevity I am envious of, but happy, so happy for you both. Take care and keep those keys typing my awesome friend.

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    Thomas Silvia 4 years ago from Massachusetts

    Hi my friend great touching tribute to your beautiful lady and wife it was so nice of you to share these moments in time with us . I enjoyed reading this awesome article, well done !

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Congratulations to you and your husband, Gypsy48, and enduring those changes together. It's the most wonderful thing to have faced my lingering insecurities about writing this hub and receive such supportive and encouraging comments from those who stopped and shared in this experience. Have a wonderful day, and know that it was an honor to have made your acquaintance. Aloha!

    Joe

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    Gypsy48 4 years ago

    A beautiful and touching hub. It is also very relatable. My husband and I have been together twenty-seven years and while things may change, the love is still there. Well done.

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Jim! Thank you for those kind words. It truly is a crush, but one of the benefits is that the stress of it all, like the pain of having teeth pulled in order to relieve a greater pain, compels me to dig down deeper to find the ever elusive mother lode. I think I'll take a refreshing break and delve into some lighthearted eBay stuff for a while. Thank you for the beautiful compliments, Jim. Aloha, my friend!

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    YAY! I am so grateful that you're here and that those golden words, "And truth it is," were included. I prayed that my Baby Boomer friends could identify with the essence of this Hub, and so I celebrate whenever I hear from yet another. Thank you, Carol! Aloha and blessings to you this fine Wednesday!

    Joe

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    Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

    Joe, even in the crush of a hub a day challenge, you continue to spin out tales that grab our attention and touch our hearts as well. This is one that marriage counselors should read and share with clients. Great work!

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    carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

    Wow..well written my friend and spoken with great eloquence. And truth it is.

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Pearl!

    Thank you for stopping by and for graciously reinforcing the changes we go through in long term relationships. It's my earnest prayer that men similarly situated will be able to relate with what I could only address in brief. The long walks have been literally as well as metaphorically helpful in giving me time to thing about these life issues. For isn't that really what life is? One long walk in the measureless bounds of eternity? Aloha, Pearl, and may you have a blessed week! Love to the beautiful birds!

    Joe

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    Connie Smith 4 years ago from Southern Tier New York State

    Ah Joe, the many layers of life! Once again, you took me for a beautiful ride. It was rich with familiarity and very 'touching'. After many years, two entities are separate, but still depending totally upon the other, as it was in the beginning. That is what never changes, hopefully. I loved this very personal look into your life. Voted Up+++

    ;) Pearl

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Oh, Suzie (H) Q! Thank you very much for being the teaspoon of sugar in my morning cup of coffee! I debated long and hard whether or not to go ahead with this one...but the writer's truth in me won out. I'm very grateful for the loving feedback so far, but I'm also living under the dread of someone in my family discovering this. Sadly, or at least in a bittersweet fashion, it is a love letter meant for my wife to discover posthumously on my part. We will celebrate, Lord-willing, our 31st in August, and it is my earnest prayer we have many wonderful years ahead of us yet. Still, life and--yes--mortality get in the way at the most inopportune times...ha-ha! I mean that with all humility. Thank you for stopping by, my friend! Please keep cheering for me to finish this Challenge. Aloha!

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Bill, thank you so much, my friend, for understanding. I think you've always understood from the first time I shared with you. I'm a free thinker and a free writer, and yet I'm always cognizant of the cow pies in life's pasture that I need to avoid. More about the bigger picture when we finally get to sit down in a coffee shop or in the shade of a sycamore or maple tree at a park somewhere. And then you'll understand in its entirety who and what Hawaiian Odysseus is all about. Bill, what is your beverage of choice these days? Hot and cold. Also, what do you like to eat for lunch, the kind that we can eat outdoors and is convenient for me to pick up in town, whether it be here in WW or there in Olympia? Thank you. It's never too early for a fellah to plan. Oh, and one more thing, I think you mentioned you like doughnuts. Any other snack ideas? As you can tell, when we sit down, it'll be a marathon session. Aloha, good buddy!

    Joe

    PS And then we each can hub about the marvelous experience. Awesome!

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Eddy, you've changed your profile photo! Beauiful! Thank you very much for stopping by. Forgive me for being remiss with my attendance at your lovely hubs. I'm so swamped and stressed by the demands of this Challenge. Thank you, too, for understanding and for your encouraging words. Aloha, my friend, and I'll be back!

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Good morning, Margaret! I hope you're having wonderful weather today. Thank you so much for your gracious comments. Very timely, too, as I've been in need of encouragement. My fault is in looking behind me and then, worse yet, looking ahead...like too far into the distance. I'm alright if I can just concentrate on the moment I'm in. Mindfulness is something I still need to learn. I'm thankful that you enjoyed this hub. I certainly labored in love over this one. Aloha to you, my friend, and thanks again for stopping by.

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Kathryn! Thank you very much for your wonderful and very uplifting words, especially needed during this Challenge time when I've been beset with the temptation to throw in the towel. I recognize the source of my anxiety and spit in its face. Ha-ha! One thing I experience is the nagging doubt that i am this perpetual loser and that I'll never amount to anything...ghosts from my childhood and early adulthood. I recognize those lies, and I tell myself to keep blazing this trail I'm on. But the jungle does grow denser, and I feel like I'm walking in darkness. The next few hubs should provide me with a bit of relief, maybe even comic relief, as I delve deeper into a topic I'm fascinated with--eBay! Still, it was an absolute joy to pull these old photos us and reflect upon how blessed my life was after meeting, falling in love with, and then marrying my princess/queen almost 31 years ago. Thank you, Kathryn! Have a great week! Your commuter hub is absolutely stellar, and I hope it goes evergreen!

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thank you, Bill D! I know what a wonderful family man you are by the articles and pictures that you share with us. You're very much aware of those changing seasons and how we men must and can adapt in order to be the very best helpmeets for our wives as well as role models for our sons and daughters. I haven't been a saint, but once I set my mind and heart in alignment with the Father, I became a promise keeper. And one of the most encouraging things is to be the recipient of gracious and uplifting comments from another loving family man. Aloha, and have a wonderful day, Bill! Please send up good thoughts for me to finish this Challenge. Thank you.

    Joe

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thank you, Georgie! We'll be celebrating our 31st in August and celebrating with our adult kids the following month with a trip to Disney World. Our love has endured the seasons and gone through changes--both sad and enchanting--but the most wonderful thing is that we've never given up on ourselves or each other. I am very blessed. Aloha, and have a great week!

    Joe

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    Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

    Joe,

    What a beautiful letter to your gorgeous wife. Like Natasha, quite frankly my friend i am lost for words, you moved me greatly with your passion, tenderness and love. Beautiful, Awesome ++++++ simply the most moving love letter ever.

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    Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Joe, this is as beautiful a tribute to a wife as I have read....your wife is a beautiful woman and this tugged at my heart. What a triumph of the written word my friend. You have outdone yourself with this one.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I won't tell your wife that you wrote it. :)

    Aloha,

    bill

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    Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

    A wonderful read Jo and voted up without a doubt.

    Enjoy your day.

    Eddy.

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    Margaret Perrottet 4 years ago from Pennsauken, NJ

    What a beautiful hub - so touching, and one that I can't see your wife getting angry about. I love the pictures too. Hey, don't let this 30 day challenge put you under pressure. You're doing a great job and are producing some really wonderful hubs, so just keep on being yourself and writing in that natural style of yours, and before you know it you'll be there. Voted up, beautiful and awesome - and sharing.

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    Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

    That is one of the sweetest things I have heard. What a beautiful story about how love transforms over time, and with the addition of children. And with honesty you mention how hard it was for you as a young father to share your wife's attention, but that you made it a point to emulate good role models, to become a great father.

    It is nice to hear such a beautiful (and real) story like this. To hear of this is to become familiar with a big part of your life, and to get to know you in a different way. Well, when your wife sees this someday, I hope she understands.

    Another great one down! You're doing pretty good with this challenge!

    Take care, and have a wonderful day.

    ~ Kathryn

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    Bill De Giulio 4 years ago from Massachusetts

    Joe, you were one fashionable young man in those white pants :) You always have a way of drawing me into your story. You really should be writing novels. What a great take on the evolution of love over time. It does have many phases. You have another winner here.

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    Georgianna Lowery 4 years ago from Lubbock, TX

    Mrs. Hawaiianodysseus is definitely a very fortunate woman. In these days where marriage is so disposable it's honestly very touching to see folks still in love "after all these years."

    You're awesome, dude. :)

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    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Natasha!

    Thank you for your attentiveness to my Hubs. This 30 Day Challenge is wearing me thin, but the uplifting feedback has really been helpful and encouraging. Okay, so I meant to ask you last night because I was surprised to see anyone up so late. Do you happen to be in the islands right now? Let's see...Hawai'i is actually three hours behind Washington, so as I write this, it's 7:49 PM back home. Anyway, just curious. Thanks for stopping by and for all your support, Natasha! (Great hub on how to tell if the sunglasses are polarized, by the way!)

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    Natasha 4 years ago from Hawaii

    Check out those outfits! Great hub. I spent a lot of time reading over and thinking, but I really can't think of anything else to say. Beautiful. =)