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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
I Swear ... To Always Tell A Lie
"What they don't realize - and what you must realize - is that manipulating others is something that all people do. In fact, manipulation is at the core of our social interaction." - Brandon Sanderson
I do not agree with the aforementioned quote. People have multiple reasons why they tell a lie, but manipulation is another level of lying.
According to Webster's dictionary, the definition of manipulation is "to falsify for one's own purpose". Webster's definition implies manipulation is a form of lying to gain something. Previously, I mentioned manipulation is a level of lying and Webster's proved my argument.
Do people manipulate other people? Yes.
Does everyone do it? No.
Everyone has reasons for lying. Some reasons may include they are afraid of what people may think and/or they want something from someone. For instance, at one point in my life, I was a habitual liar. I would wake up with the sun and go to bed with the moon lying. I don't know why I did it, but it felt good to do it.
Once I started to reflect upon my life, I realized I lied because I wanted people to view me in a particular way. I wanted people to see me differently than I saw myself. (I won't go into specifics). I just had a really low opinion of myself and I wanted people to have a high opinion of me.
This is beside the prompt's original argument.
I was lying to get something out of the situation. If you asked me whether I thought that was manipulation, I would say no. I was not deliberately trying to hurt anyone or gain something physically. Although, I was looking to gain something emotionally. Therefore, I guess I was manipulating people.
According to the aforementioned definition, manipulation means lying to gain something from someone or a situation. A great example is my grandmother. She is a habitual liar and manipulator. To get her way, she always threatens to stop doing something for her children and grandchildren. Everyone loves her cooking and generosity. However, she is very controlling. If you don't do what she wants, she will throw in your face everything she does for you. This is so annoying, but this is how she manages to get her way; by using manipulation.
If you asked her whether she thinks she's being manipulative, she would say no. She lives in denial. But aside from her crazy antics, the prompt stated, 'do people manipulate others intentionally?'.
The answer to that would be yes because everyone wants something and to get it, sometimes lying and manipulation have to take place. I don't believe people manipulate to hurt another, but to obtain what they want. Sometimes, people do get hurt and sometimes people manipulate to hurt others. However, there are some people who believe they deserve the world.
For instance, my best friend isn't a habitual liar, but he is definitely a manipulator. He calls his self, "a villain". He believes that he is evil, but he is always honest, but only to get what he wants. He feels the truth can be just as bad as lying. I guess he is right, in certain circumstances.
He has an egotistical mentality and he thinks the world should grovel to his feet. (I know this is bad to talk about my best friend, but trust me, he already knows I talk about him.) In his mind, the truth can be used to get what he wants. However, he never explains why he is always honest. (The guy is a maniac.) He believes the truth can hurt and that is how he hurts others, by being honest.
Honestly, I really don't understand it. I've just learned to accept it. In manipulative situations like this, it is better to just walk away. Don't try to fight it.
Anyways, the ultimate question is "is manipulation at the core of our social interaction"?
If after reading my examples, you're still not convinced it is, then take a look at your own life and judge your own actions.