- Gender and Relationships»
I Was Right. Now What?
The other day my wife and I were discussing something so unimportant that I can’t even remember what it was. What made this discussion memorable is that I was right. That’s right, I was right. This doesn't happen very often, so I did what any adult in an adult relationship would do, I gloated. I broke out the victory dance and there may have even been some pointing and taunting going on as I celebrated my rare victory in extreme fashion.
The reason for the celebration was simple, I’m never right. My moments are few and far between, so when I'm correct on a point, no matter how minuscule, I have to make the most of it. The only problem here was that she didn't even care. She wasn't discouraged or down, she didn't beg me to stop. In fact I think she may have even been a bit embarrassed for me.
As my victory lap came to an end I noticed a familiar look on my wife’s face, the teacher look. As a second grade teacher she sees this kind of behavior every day. Behavior that I suddenly realized was very much like that of a 7 or 8 year old child. I was so happy to be right that I lost control and in turn negated my small victory with excessive celebration. If there had been a referee in the kitchen he would have thrown a flag.
My wife doesn't do this, it's not her style. Besides, she would probably get tired from all of the I'm right dances. I can just see her now as we’re out at Lowe’s or Home Depot. As we begin to argue over the better outdoor paint for the foundation of the house, we decide to ask an employee. The employee, politely informs us of the better choice, the one my wife wants.
Wife: Ooooh feel the burn, that’s right sucka, get some!
Me: Honey, we’re in public.
Wife, dancing as a crowd gathers: Yeah, that’s right, who’s right? Oh, I’m right….AGAIN! Bam!
I’m not sure she could pull it off properly, she's much too classy to do this. What can I say, I married up.
I guess when you've been right so many times there's no need to rub it in. In fact, she may let me be right once in a while as not to crush my confidence. Hmm. Now I've got some questions. This is why I shouldn't think.
But this is also why we work well together. She's more of the measure twice cut once type of girl, and considering I don't even know where the tape measure is, I'm a cut more than once type of guy. She's calm and likes to think things through, I'm an over dramatic stress ball of nervous energy.
I'm not totally without my strong points. My wife can't work a remote control to save her life. If she was locked in a dungeon and all she had to do was figure out the previous channel button on a remote control to unlock the door, she may want to get her affairs in order.
I do the electronics and landscaping, her department is paint schemes, window dressings and other boring things that would put me to sleep if I continued to type them. When I have an idea for a project, I think of a way to pitch it to her before she can pull up the mental catalog.
The mental catalog is growing at a rapid rate. If I approach her with a brilliant idea, one that she cannot possibly turn down, like say, a kegerator in the kitchen, she will pretend she is mulling it over. In reality she can't believe I waste my time with such delusional thoughts. This is where she will site an example. Remember when you remodeled the back bathroom and the water faucet didn't work for 6 months? Damn.
I'm learning though, and becoming a better husband for it. I've learned to take deep breaths and remain calm in certain situations, to think before I make an impulsive decision, that even though its never fun to be wrong, listening to the right idea isn't too bad either. And lastly, I've learned that the kegerator is going in the basement.
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