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I Was Right. Now What?

Updated on July 31, 2012

The other day my wife and I were discussing something so unimportant that I can’t even remember what it was. What made this discussion memorable is that I was right. That’s right, I was right. This doesn't happen very often, so I did what any adult in an adult relationship would do, I gloated. I broke out the victory dance and there may have even been some pointing and taunting going on as I celebrated my rare victory in extreme fashion.

The reason for the celebration was simple, I’m never right. My moments are few and far between, so when I'm correct on a point, no matter how minuscule, I have to make the most of it. The only problem here was that she didn't even care. She wasn't discouraged or down, she didn't beg me to stop. In fact I think she may have even been a bit embarrassed for me.

As my victory lap came to an end I noticed a familiar look on my wife’s face, the teacher look. As a second grade teacher she sees this kind of behavior every day. Behavior that I suddenly realized was very much like that of a 7 or 8 year old child. I was so happy to be right that I lost control and in turn negated my small victory with excessive celebration. If there had been a referee in the kitchen he would have thrown a flag.

My wife doesn't do this, it's not her style. Besides, she would probably get tired from all of the I'm right dances. I can just see her now as we’re out at Lowe’s or Home Depot. As we begin to argue over the better outdoor paint for the foundation of the house, we decide to ask an employee. The employee, politely informs us of the better choice, the one my wife wants.

Wife: Ooooh feel the burn, that’s right sucka, get some!

Me: Honey, we’re in public.

Wife, dancing as a crowd gathers: Yeah, that’s right, who’s right? Oh, I’m right….AGAIN! Bam!

I’m not sure she could pull it off properly, she's much too classy to do this. What can I say, I married up.

I guess when you've been right so many times there's no need to rub it in. In fact, she may let me be right once in a while as not to crush my confidence. Hmm. Now I've got some questions. This is why I shouldn't think.

But this is also why we work well together. She's more of the measure twice cut once type of girl, and considering I don't even know where the tape measure is, I'm a cut more than once type of guy. She's calm and likes to think things through, I'm an over dramatic stress ball of nervous energy.

I'm not totally without my strong points. My wife can't work a remote control to save her life. If she was locked in a dungeon and all she had to do was figure out the previous channel button on a remote control to unlock the door, she may want to get her affairs in order.

I do the electronics and landscaping, her department is paint schemes, window dressings and other boring things that would put me to sleep if I continued to type them. When I have an idea for a project, I think of a way to pitch it to her before she can pull up the mental catalog.

The mental catalog is growing at a rapid rate. If I approach her with a brilliant idea, one that she cannot possibly turn down, like say, a kegerator in the kitchen, she will pretend she is mulling it over. In reality she can't believe I waste my time with such delusional thoughts. This is where she will site an example. Remember when you remodeled the back bathroom and the water faucet didn't work for 6 months? Damn.

I'm learning though, and becoming a better husband for it. I've learned to take deep breaths and remain calm in certain situations, to think before I make an impulsive decision, that even though its never fun to be wrong, listening to the right idea isn't too bad either. And lastly, I've learned that the kegerator is going in the basement.

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    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      I love your hubs. They are so funny that they always leave me laughing. Food stuff and shared.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      OOPS, Good stuff. hahaha

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks Becky, at least my being an idiot gives me material to write, and there's no shortage of my idiocracy!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      I write about my children's idiocy. It is funny too.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Hilarious! What talent you have! Up, funny, and awesome!

    • bmcoll3278 profile image

      bmcoll3278 4 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      I think we may have the same life LOL great hub voted up

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks WillStar, I really appreciate it!

      Glad you enjoyed it bmcoll, I hope you're right more than I am!

    • Ardie profile image

      Sondra 4 years ago from Neverland

      Oooh funny :) If I remember from a little while back - you are newly (sorta) married. So that means you still have to learn that the wife is right even when she's not right. You got it ...when the wife is wrong you are supposed to lead her to the right answer and then graciously applaud her ability to always be right. You can thank me in pennies.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      This sounds advanced Ardie, perhaps in time I will test those waters and then pay you with my lucrative hub earnings! Thanks!

    • KathyH profile image

      KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Too funny! I always love reading your hubs, I never know what's coming next! :) And kudos to you for realizing when you've married up, not all guys appreciate that! :) Voted up and hilarious!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks Kathy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. As far as marrying up, I will not argue that point!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Weestro, this was adorable. How true of all men but like only you to write about it. You need to know though, sometimes we let you be right to make you feel better ... kidding. This was a great, joyful hub. Voted up, funny and SHARED.

    • profile image

      Lynn S. Murphy 4 years ago

      What a great, funny hub - that is reversed in my house. I was right 3 times in a row on Saturday and wrote it down on my calender so I can pull it out and reminisce.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      tillsontitan, thank you, and although I think you may be right about the letting us thing, I'll take what I can get!

      Wow Lynn, that's a good idea, documenting victories! Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • lindacee profile image

      lindacee 4 years ago from Southern Arizona

      Hilarious Hub! Will share with my husband. Poor dear, he is never right either. ;)

      Voted up and funny!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Let him know he is not alone! Thanks lindacee!

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Now that's what wives are... always right hehe:) We do adjust to them eventually, 'cause we love them so much!

      Great hub

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Amen to that rahul, Thanks!

    • Claudia Tello profile image

      Claudia Tello 4 years ago from Mexico

      You certainly made me laugh! It is quite ridiculous, this need to "be right"; how can we act like that sometimes? what for??? I know I have done it and know men and women who do it equally, it is just human nature. Great that guys like you write these funny stories and make us realize how childish we behave now and then, hopefully we will grow up someday :D

      Voted up and funny. I think everyone will feel identified with your experience and laugh!!!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Great points claudia! Thanks for reading and voting!

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 4 years ago from Australia

      I don't even know you and I could see you doing your victory dance with so much gusto "YES", Oh the joy!!!

      Alas for me, I am the spontaneous, never measured, never organised one in my partnership and oh further woe - I am the female. My brilliant ideas never get very far, but oh boy you should see my "YES - I'm right" dances!!!

      This is a great read, very entertaining and strangely relatable!!!

      My votes to you Weestro, and sharing!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Our dances are all we have to go with our rare victories Fennelseed! thanks for reading and voting!

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 4 years ago from Georgia

      Hello Weestro, So funny! I'm surprised you didn't bring the puppy into the dance. LOL. Maybe the next time, huh. Good read. Thanks for the morning pick me up.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      You're more than welcome, maybe I will bring the dogs into the mix next time....whenever that may be!

    • patchofearth profile image

      patchofearth 4 years ago from somewhere in the appalachian foothills

      Big ups to you for being self-aware enough and brave enough to admit short comings. In this department you are way ahead of me. Very funny hub and nicely done.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Self-aware and brave! Showing this comment to my wife....thanks patchofearth!

    • profile image

      Liz Walmoth 4 years ago

      This was a warm and funny read. Thanks so much for the laughs.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Your very welcome Liz, thanks for reading and commenting!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

      You're a funny guy, weestro. I love laughing out loud and look forward to reading more of your humorous hubs. Jaye

    • Mr Archer profile image

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Yes, dear.

      You're right, dear.

      What ever you say, dear.

      Repeat as needed. These are the ONLY responses a married man need have. I commiserate with you, as I am so infrequently right that the last time she admitted I was not wrong was when I asked her to marry me! Great writing, sir! Brillian and witty, and spot on!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Got it Mr. Archer...thanks! At least you got that "not wrong" ...funny stuff!

    • TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

      TIMETRAVELER2 4 years ago

      I loved this one. Very funny, but oh so true! I think your wife and my husband should marry...really. He is NEVER wrong and even makes bets with me about how right he is! Voted up!

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      I would be one broke guy if I was betting on myself Timetraveer2! Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • profile image

      masmasika 4 years ago

      Wow, that's was funny. I love your humor. voted up.

    • weestro profile image
      Author

      Pete Fanning 4 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks masmasika, I appreciate it!

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