I Almost Cheated and I Am Glad I Didn't!
Have you ever been tempted to cheat? Have you been in a position where you find yourself fantasizing about someone you know outside of your relationship? Have you grown close to someone outside of your relationship and almost got together with them?
What is Cheating?
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary online, in regards to relationships, cheating means: To be sexually unfaithful. Terms like: to deceive, to be dishonest and to violate rules dishonestly, readily comes to mind
When one cheats in a relationship it leads from one deceit to another. When the initial unfaithfulness occurs you try to hide it because you don't want your partner to know. In many cases, you will deny it if confronted. Every day you pretend that you have been honest and faithful is a lie. Imagine how many lies that would be for ten years!
There are many instances where persons come close to cheating but cannot go through with it. Circumstances may happen to prevent it while in other cases it's the guilt or conscience that stops it. Here are two scenarios where married people almost cheated.
Jane is happily married; at least it feels that way to her. She is out with friends and meets a handsome younger man who is attracted to her. Unbeknownst to her friends they exchange numbers and within the week the young man calls her. They talk and the chemistry swiftly develops between them. They decide to meet for coffee, then there was lunch.
After a few week she finds herself dressing younger. She cuts her hair and adds some highlights. Janes find excuses to sneak away to meet her lover and they would have walks in the park or have lunch together.
On the day that they plan to meet at a motel her hubby returns home from work by midmorning with a stomach bug. Jane sees this as a sign that maybe her hubby turning up is fate stepping in. She breaks it off with the young lover and never speaks to him again. She is happy that she didn't go through with it but she came pretty close.
Simon is the senior account executive for an advertising firm. He is the head of his department and he is required to go out of state at least twice per month to meet clients. His assistant is blonde and pretty. She wears very short skirts and has a bulging cleavage. All the men in the office drools over her but she has eyes only for one man, Simon.
He loves his wife and has never been unfaithful. His wife is brown haired, green eyes, heart shaped face and beautiful. They have a fairly passionate and loving relationship and he lacks for nothing. They have three wonderful children who looks up to them and depend on them. Simon loves the time he gets to spend with his family and cherishes every moment.
On this occasion, his assistant is required to travel with him to meet a Japanese delegation. She has accompanied him before but this time Simon senses something different about their travel. They are commissioned to take the company jet which will fly them to their destination at which point a car will take them to their hotel.
A suite with adjoining rooms was booked by the company secretary in order to facilitate some of the meetings with the Japanese who happen to be staying at the same hotel.
After a successful negotiation, Ms Blond Assistant orders champagne and encourages Simon to celebrate. After a few drinks which get to their heads, they start kissing and taking off each other clothes. Halfway through a bell goes off in his head. "No, I can't do this" he says. Simon then withdraws and locks himself in his room where he calls his family.
Upon returning home he tells his wife the truth. It takes a few days of pleading and begging and finally she his wife begins to appreciate her husband's honesty. Now, she trusts to always do the right thing.
Living without the guilt
It is never easy to resist temptation. Sometimes we are attracted to people outside of our relationship and that makes us human. What we do about it is what lays the foundation for our relationship.
The feeling of relief you get from knowing that "nothing happened" is priceless. Some people will still feel guilty that they allowed themselves to let it get so far, but there is still a big relief to know that you did not go through with it after all.
Being honest about it is best for your mental state of mind and your partner will appreciate the fact that you were honest enough to tell them of your weakness. It may take some time to trust you completely again; but they will, especially knowing the fact that you were honest enough not to keep it a secret.
There is one thing you need to remember in all of this, is that almost cheating is not cheating. It is normal to have feelings for other people. So don't beat yourself up about it.