I am Me as long as I am True to Myself and noone else can change the good...what do my experiences and actions tell me?

I grew up one of two middle children with a total of six. I did not have to fight for my place in the family because I had a Mom who treated us as individuals and gave me all I needed to be "Me". She never compared us or gave us more or less than what we needed. I did not have to compete or outdo anyone else. How did she do this? How did she separate all of us and get to know all of us as individuals with so many? I cannot answer that question, only she can, but it transcends into the world, as we are all individuals, not one of us is "exactly" the same.

When I was younger I was always the kid who was so concerned with what others thought of me and if they liked me or not, but I tried not to show that part. I tried to be the smiling, happy kid, who didn't have a care in the world. I tried to please everyone. Whatever they wanted me to be, that was what I was, except for the times with my Mom and my brothers and sisters and the rest of my family. I could always, and still can be just the person I am. They love me that way.

However, I have changed over time in the outside world of my family. My experience along with my age has given me the confidence to know that I have formed my own opinion and my own thoughts and I proudly say that I voice them too and take action when needed or inaction when it speaks louder than any words I can form. Today's society puts so much emphasis on the norm, but what is the norm? What is the expected? What does it think of me? That is what this society is teaching us; to be untrue to ourselves; to be so consumed with what others think of us that we cannot be ourselves. We cannot speak our opinions or we can speak them, but with an adage so that others will agree or give it credit. How can that be when what makes this world so interesting is the differing opinions in it? The differing personalities? The differing lifestyles? The new ideas and concepts? The life lessons of others?

I can say that I do or do not agree with the way it is going...freely..I can say I do or do not agree with what someone else does or thinks...freely. I am me and that is all I expect from me and that is all anyone should expect. I have my life experiences that I do not take for granted and I try to learn from, but only I can learn from them in my own way. By the same token, I don't expect anyone else to feel exactly the same. Maybe one can empathize...maybe one can relate...maybe one can see my side...or tell me why they cannot see my side, but that is what it is all about, isn't it? My life experiences are my own and can be construed or misconstrued by others...do I get offended?..do I tell them they are wrong? No, simply because they have their own opinions...they have their own experiences to draw from...they are not me and maybe I can learn from them or they can learn from me.

I have lost a sense of being myself so many times throughout life in different relationships (not just with partners, but with co-workers or higher authorities) until I realized that what I am doing or saying does matter, no matter how much credit they give to it. It matters to me. I do not open my mouth and speak my opinion in a strong way about things that matter unless it is a well-educated opinion and I have facts to back it up or feel strongly about liking or disliking something unless I feel that way due to personal experiences or situations that maybe noone else can understand.

Where is the sense today that you do not have to conform to what everyone else expects?.....the unexpected is always so much more exciting. Where is the sense that you can have a say in what you do whether anyone else would do the same or not? The greatest defeats and conguers came from nonconformity....the greatest inventions came from others who ignored the fact that others thought they were absurd and abnormal....looking outside yourself and the norm....challenging what others saw as obstacles or things unattainable or so extraordinary they were an impossibility....or so absurd that you were dillusional.... Where would the world be today if everyone conformed?...stagnant.

Do we give ourselves enough credit in all that we do? Do we truly stand behind what we feel is right or wrong no matter what others may think or feel about it? Do our actions tell us that we are doing it for others to think more highly of us...or are we just doing it because we are altruistic?...Do we challenge our minds....our bodies...our wisdom...our intelligence...do we do these things from our hearts...our souls...our intelligence...our longing for knowledge...our inventionous souls.... with no expectations or glory to follow? Life is about learning...growing...no expectations....glory...no glory....making ourselves better...realizing our weaknesses...our strengths....giving a smile...receiving a smile...empathy...caring...and just touching others in a good way....making a difference... Are you a drain or an additon to this neverending sea of life that is before you?

We wake up each morning, rush into the day...am I early?...am I late?....do my clothes look ok?...is my hair in place?....wow, did I put deodorant on? did I brush my teeth?...do I look good?....but do we ever ask ourselves, am I good? Will I wake up today and touch someone's life?...Will I wake up today and say something that will hurt someone?...Will I wake up today and change my life or someone else's in a good way or bad way?..Will I wake up today and make a difference....We should...we can...yet, sometimes we choose not to.

This has become a very selfish world filled with people without any true feelings, well let me rephrase that....there are what people perceive to be true feelings, but they waiver the moment someone speaks against them. How are they true then? How do they mean something?

TODAY...starts anew...more often than any New Year's celebration, which comes but once a year. I cannot have today back, ever. I have it to do what I want...to choose what I want. A friend of mine gave me a poem a long time ago....I still keep it at work...still on a pink notecard with pin pricks through it, but those pin pricks cannot take away the message....it is a message about making today your best and choosing to do so...yes, we do have a choice...we do have a voice...we do matter amongst all that the world has to offer today...we do not have to conform...conforming is boring...have an opinion....have a dream noone else can dream..have a song in your heart that only you can hear....be true to yourself and be true to others....invent...dream...live...let others see you are living.....let each day tell the world....this is me, I am..I believe...I have a say, this is ME living MY life...and touching yours as noone else can do it.