- Gender and Relationships
How do mom's do it all?
Working and Managing Everyting, You can do it!!!
Yes, I am all of these things, mother, wife and job but not to exclude, daughter, sister and friend to others. I am not the most successful person career wise but I feel like I am a successful motherand wife. Here is how one mother does it all and still finds happiness;
Helpful Tools For Mothers
1. I am a full-time mother; I don’t have a nanny or assistant. I do the laundry, cook, clean and most of all take care of my son. He is six and very busy. I find time each day either before work or after to have “play” time with my son. Along the way I have learned several tips that have helped me as a mother. Everyday after school, my son gets my full (completely) full attention for ten minutes (in his time, that’s a lot). Once we walk in the door we go through school drawings or talk about the day. This little act helps us bond each afternoon after a long day (mostly for mom).
I believe that structure and boundaries for your children is extremely important. We play, watch TV and read every night, not to forget bath and dinner time. We build the foundation for our children. I like having my son interact with other children everyday but I think it’s most important for them to have one-on-one time with parents to build trust and security.
2. I am a wife and I take that responsibility very seriously. My husband and I have been married for over 17 years. We have had our share of ups and downs. Through the good times and bad, we have felt heartache, pain, and happiness. I am a firm believer that you fall in and out of love with your spouse. Like life, it’s a roller coaster and during the high peaks, don’t step on each other and during the low peaks remember, it’s the two of you getting through it. It takes TWO to make a marriage and it takes TWO to break a marriage up. I have a very supportive husband; he helps me as much as I help him.
Marriage is anything you want it to be, strong, weak, happy or sad. You build it together and that is what you will have. I learned very early on, that communication was critical to make our marriage strong. I needed him to talk to me and pay attention to me, mostly to make me feel like a woman. After I learned that it wasn’t up to him to make me feel like a woman, then I started to express my concerns that I needed him to talk to me. Once he learned that I must have that communication to stimulate me, he was forever the talker. We don’t have much in common but we do appreciate each other’s hobbies, we talk about them and help each other when a problem occurs.
Marriage is friendship, love, trust, communication and giving. Give your husband time; he needs your time as much as your children do. Remember the days that you would lay in bed all day and snuggle or laugh at each other over a private joke, don’t forget that. I know that our husbands are self-sufficient and your children are not, but don’t forget they need you to and it’s always nice to be needed.
3. I have a full-time job with many responsibilities. I work an average of 65 hours a week and manage to run a home too. I do have an assistant that handles my flights, schedules and overall office work. I work every day from 8am to 5pm and after my son goes to bed I will then do the necessary work to stay above water in the office. However, I set this arrangement up prior to having my son and made my upper management clear of my work situations. I want to enjoy my mornings and evenings with my son and husband but most of all, have no interruptions.
I don’t carry guilt for working full-time. I know a lot of mothers do have guilt for working versus being home with their children. I believe each mother is different and needs to do what is best for her and her family. Guilt is what you bring on yourself; no one else gives you that. I like my job and I like working, but most of all I like my son interacting socially, physically and mentally with other children. It works for our family and I carry no guilt because he goes to school everyday.
Lastly, I believe what is important is what works for you and your family to be happy. Whether you are a stay-at-home mother or full time worker, do what is best for you. Embrace the beautiful gift of children and your husband and find the little enjoyments each day that you have with them. Being a mother is the most fulfilling experience that I have ever had, but I am happy with myself and my home life and this is how I find the time to handle life, because I love all that is involved with being a mother, wife and a career.