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I can't sleep alone anymore

Updated on September 14, 2014

Tossing and turning

Well it happens to be so that my man took of yesterday to go fishing for the weekend. I love that he have hobbies and that he has his own life. But what has become a problem for me is that when he is away I have trouble sleeping alright.

It might already start in the fact that I always feel like a part of me is missing when he's not around. I feel kind of empty actually, and that is a strange feeling for me to have in the first place... But I do of course have my own friends and definitely don't have a problem in hanging out alone, but it's different when I go to bed.

You see, when we sleep together, we lie very close to each other, often I fall asleep with my head on his chest or spooning. And during night we may move around but he is never further away than reaching out a hand.

I guess it has to do with intimacy and the fact that he makes me feel safe and secure in every way. Before we met I never needed anyone, and I have been a little bit scared of saying that is has changed and that now I do need someone. But I am happy that I have let myself become vulnerable because I think it is a sign of maturity and strenght to let someone else in to the point were (in this case) he is the one I trust with my life, but yet is the one who could also hurt me the most.

Some interesting facts

According to a study from Finland, which I read about in a swedish newspaper, we sleep best if we sleep together. And that people living alone is not feeling as good as people living toghether. That I can only agree too, not said that people living alone are all miserable, but you cope with the fact that you are alone and accept is and most of the time it's fine. Not until you meet someone to live with that you notice the difference of having people around you all the time.

A study from Austria, on the other hand showed that men slept better alone than with their partner while their women slept better. I can relate to this as well because I think that my man probably sleeps just as good with or without me but it gets emotional by knowing that I'm not there. And that can make him feel lonley when awake.

These studies are both from 2006. Somehow I think that sleeping well together is another sign of how well you fit together. You can't spend the rest of your life with someone if you don't sleep next to them. And there are a some tecniques to get help from if you have trouble sleeping ad it has nothing to do with your partner.

Do you sleep better with someone else?

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    • profile image

      Dont wish to say 

      7 years ago

      I have a big issue I can not sleep alone i don't know why. when i was young me and my brother had one room (separate bed) i remember we couldn't go to sleep straight away so we would talk and sing until we r too tired that we fall asleep. when i moved to aus i had my own room which was totally fine but i still used to sleep next to my mum most of the times even when i was back in egypt and it was fine having my own room i guess because the whole family was there. then i decided to go to lismor and live by myself and go to uni there i stayed in a family's house and had my own room i struggled a lot to be honest because i was by myself all the time didn't have much friends well i never did since i moved here, its just the part where i have to sleep alone anyway i came back to syd and me and my gf rented a place. few months ago we brokeup and killed me to death to sleep alone but i was forced had no one and im the type of girl who pretty much doesn't let nyone in my life theres always we r back together and shes at her mums and i couldn't take it so had to call her while breaking down crying asking her if she can come back and she is but like that succks i need a dr!!!! urgh

    • CrazedNovelist profile image

      AE Williams 

      7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      I can understand having trouble sleeping after being so used to having someone sleeping next you. Interesting topic choice, Jeshon.


    • dghbrh profile image


      7 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Interesting hub.....votes up:-)

    • marlynpumphrey profile image

      Marlyn Munoz 

      7 years ago from Honolulu, HI

      Just like CassyLu my husband too is military. When he is not home I go into Insomnia mode and I don't usually go to bed til the sun is about to come up. On top of that I can't sleep in the bed because there is just too much space so I sleep on the couch. By the time he comes home I have major bags under my eyes. Voted Up

    • CassyLu1981 profile image


      7 years ago from Spring Lake, NC

      With my hubby being military I find myself sleeping alone often because of deployments and training :( I never get a good nights sleep unless he's next to me. Great hub! Voted up and shared!!!

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 

      7 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Interesting hub, it is great waking up together for sure,

    • Randy M. profile image

      Randy McLaughlin 

      7 years ago from Liberia, Costa Rica

      Interesting topic. I also believe that if you can't sleep together, there are significant problems in the relationship. Voted up.

    • jeshon profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thank you Allen! Yeah, what love does to us...:) Thanks for the up!

    • Allen Williams profile image

      Allen Williams 

      8 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Oh the wonders of love! When your heart is torn away but not broken, from another that has touched it so immensely. We feel lonely inside like a small wound such as a scratch until that other part reunites with us once again being the aid and comfort which our hearts seek.

      It is a good hub. I like how you laid out your feelings in a very personal way. I voted it up.


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