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relationship:I come with a 'salvage title'

Updated on November 12, 2014

A real 'classic'

Dating makes me feel as though I am a guard working at a state prison; I must be on guard and aware at all times. I must not show any signs of weakness, lest I appear gullible, naïve, or vulnerable, putting myself (and others) at risk. I am direct, firm, and confident and I don't mince my words.

Evidently, this is ‘intimidating’ for some men, or so I’ve been told. At least when it comes to men my own age, and or the ones that I have met. Yet, the young men I meet and or have met, seem to find the blunt and forthcoming manner in which I speak and live, appealing, because I get asked out more often, by men in their teens and twenties than any other age demographic. Could this be one of the reasons for the Cougar trend? I never imagined myself dating, let alone dating in my 40's, I thought when I got married it was going to be forever-I never imagined starting all over at this age or stage of my life.

Men my age, the ones I've met, seem jaded and bitter, either because they have been burned by their previous relationship(s) or have not had any success with them. Whatever the reason, the men I've met, seem more interested in getting me into bed than getting to know me. The men I have met, have zero ‘GAME’ and seem to have no idea what ‘dating’ is. The era in which I grew up, women did not 'put out,'or hook up, nor did we know what a booty call was-I was not familiar or acquainted with these terms, and even though I know what they are and what they mean now, doesn't mean I want to become acquainted or familiar with them.

Twenty years ago, I might have fallen for their lines and given ‘it’ up after a few drinks, but I’m not the same person I was in my twenties. Twenty years ago, I was only twenty years old, and I was married, and being that I married my high school sweetheart, I never experienced the ‘dating’ world. So much has changed since then. Finding out I married a gay man and going through a divorce, have been significant changes in my life. I am not the same doe eyed, naïve, insecure, woman I once was. I'm not looking for a man to complete me, or looking for my 'other half,' I am a whole person, I am complete. I may be 'damaged,' I may have my faults, flaws, and shortcomings, but that does not render me 'totaled.'

Everyone seems to want to ‘take a test drive’ before they decide. I am not a car. However, if I were, I’d have to let you know up front, I come with a ‘salvage’ title, and I come ‘as is.’ I consider myself a ‘classic,’ and with a little TLC, I could be good as new. Okay, so maybe not new, but if you’re into ‘classics’ I may surprise you at how well I ‘perform’, when the right person is behind the wheel. Like most ‘classics’ however, you cannot expect to just get in and drive-you must start it up and then let it warm up, before you can just take it for a ‘spin’. I’ve already been taken for a ‘joy ride' once-hence the reason I come with a ‘salvage title.’


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    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 6 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      Thank you so much vocalcoach! I cannot tell you how much it means that you took the time to read, but to comment as well! :)

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 6 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      Written with truth and wit! I am your newest fan and am so glad you joined hubpages. I've been here 1 yr and love it. I can see that you are going to do very well here. Can't wait to read more of your articles. You are awesome!!!