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I feel Like He Doesn’t Care About Me

Updated on June 4, 2019
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.

Why do You Think He Doesn't Care About You?

Do you have a valid reason for thinking he doesn't really care about you? Is he neglecting you, putting his friends first, ignoring your texts? Or is it just a feeling with nothing substantial to back it up?

Do you suffer with insecurity, are you low in self-esteem or lack confidence in yourself? If any of this is true, then you might be making a mountain out of a molehill, or even turning nothing into something. Have a good think about where these feelings are coming from. Some women find it hard to believe any decent man would really be interested in them and they start looking for ways to prove their inaccurate theory. What it really comes down to, it something in them. They can't help but scupper a good thing, thinking it can't possibly be that good.


When He Ignores Your Texts

When anyone ignores us it's upsetting. We feel as though we are unimportant to them. A returned text is a validation that all is well. If you sent a text on Monday and didn't get a reply until Wednesday, then that might be a sign that he isn't as bothered as he once was. It could however, mean that he is wary of replying right away, especially if you are just starting out together. He may not want to come across as too keen. It's a silly thing really, but understandable. You are thinking he doesn't care, when actually he cares more than you think. If however, you are further down the track in your relationship your fears might be founded.

Generally when we are interested in someone, male or female, we want to connect at every opportunity. That said, we are all different. Maybe he is incredibly busy, perhaps he has kids from a previous relationship and he is looking after them, maybe he sets texts aside to deal with at a later date, when he is more relaxed and able to give them the attention they deserve.

Still, at the start of a relationship, it's not too much to expect a reply within 24 hours.

He Only Sends You A Few Words

This really is a male thing. We women go on and on and on......we'll happily have a whole conversation in a text. Men however, are not the same. It's typical of a man to send you a sentence, perhaps two if you are really lucky. This is not personal to you. It's the difference between men and women. Don't judge him by your standards. It's a fact. Men and weird like that!

He Chooses His Friends Over You

Does he always choose his friends over you or are you actually being a little unreasonable? Do you expect him to ditch them every time in favour of a night in watching your favourite shows on Netflix?

It's absolutely reasonable for a guy to want to mix it up a little and spend time with his mates. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. Variety makes for a healthy relationship. Don't get possessive of his time like it's yours by right. Being in a relationship means compromise is sometimes necessary. Spend time with your friends too. Putting all of your eggs in one basket will not serve you.

Making your guy feel bad for wanting to spend time with other people will only serve to push him away over time.

When He Always Puts His Friends First

If he constantly chooses his friends over you, then this is a different matter. If he'd rather be at the pub watching the football than having dinner with you, then there is an issue. Frustration will start to set in and you'd be justified in thinking he doesn't care all that much. If a man loves you then he wants to be with you. If he'd rather be elsewhere then he's not for you.

There is a case for peer pressure here. Maybe he gives in to pressure from his friends. Perhaps they give him a hard time and he struggles to say no and choose you over them.

Talk! Don't suffer in silence. Find out why he chooses them over you and tell him how it makes you feel. If he continues to do the same then ditch him. He's not the one for you.

You Are Always On Time But He Is Always Late

Lateness is a frustration for sure, but doesn't mean that he doesn't care. Some people cannot be on time to save their lives. He might and probably does, have every intention of being there on time. He starts with the best of intentions, but fails miserably every time. I have a friend who is absolutely never on time for anything. I know it's not because she doesn't care. I accept it about her because her good points outweigh the issue for me.

Is he late for other people too? Late people are always running behind, they can't seem to catch up with themselves. On the other hand, my Mum is always late and that's more of a no concept of time sort of thing. My son is exactly the same.

Tell your guy that it upsets you that he is never on time and ask him if there's anything you can do to help him organise his time better. Failing that, tell him to meet you fifteen minutes earlier than you plan and then he'll always be on time!

Valid Reasons For Doubting His Feelings For You

If you really do have a valid reason or reasons for feeling he doesn't care, then approach him. Talking is always a good thing. If you don't get the answer that you are looking for or he says he does really care, then judge him by his actions after that point. Give him a chance. If he doesn't back his words up with his actions then he probably won't ever change. Time to move onwards and upwards.

Comments

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    • EvieSparkes profile imageAUTHOR

      Evie Sparkes 

      22 months ago

      Yes suffering is always optional! I think that we DO judge them by our standards and that isn't a good indication of their true feelings.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      22 months ago from Chicago

      "Generally when we are interested in someone, male or female, we want to connect at every opportunity. That said, we are all different." That is so true! We should never forget it.

      Several years ago Gary Chapman wrote "The 5 Love Languages".

      Essentially he talks about the various ways people express and interpret being loved. If you do not (feel loved) it really does not matter what is in your mate's heart. Ultimately we are all looking for someone to love us "the way" (we) want to be loved.

      If a wife has a husband who never brings her flowers, cards, or serves her breakfast in bed but she knows he would give up his life to protect her... Can she really say he does not love her?

      Our choices are to find someone who (naturally) expresses love (the way we want), or learn each other's expectations and make compromises, accept/live with our differences, or move on.

      The choice is up to us! Suffering is optional.

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