- Gender and Relationships
The Sisterhood of Women
Every woman needs a best friend
Okay, so not EVERY woman needs a best friend. We have to remember that everyone's personality is different. And it's okay if you're happy with yourself and BY yourself. That is up to you.
I, on the other hand, believe that women need to stick together, as a force of mankind, but also as a sisterhood. History has shown that women are competitive in their own ways. We've all been the woman that walks by another female, thinks she's absolutely amazing-looking, but tell ourselves that she's a b*tch. Why is that? It doesn't make much sense, but it is the way of the world!
Another trait that most women possess, is the b*tch trait. Those of us that have been married or have children, can think of many reasons for that behavior. But even as young women, many of us are nasty to others, especially other females!! Is this because we have to deal with men, or because we have that "friend" that ever-so-politely comes and visits us and ravages every fiber of our being every month? Or is it because communication is so arid and non-existent between women?
Are we ever really taught how to treat other women? Most of us are taught to coddle and nurture our children, younger siblings, and even our husbands. But what about our mothers, sisters, and aunts?? Of course there are many, many women out there who have wonderful relationships with the women in their own families. The point I'm trying to make is that most women are NOT taught to communicate with other females. At least not in a positive light in many instances.
Even those of you who might adore and cherish every minute with your mother, sister, or aunt, have had those moments where you see a good-looking woman standing near YOUR boyfriend or husband and you imagine this: your body starts getting warmer, your fists clench, you're looking right at this beautiful woman as she's looking into YOUR boyfriends/husbands eyes....all of a sudden you're running at this woman like a lion after its prey. You grab her head of silky, curly, long hair and yank as though you're in a game of tug-o-war!
Not a pretty thought, is it? But it's one that many of us have had. Funny how we think those thoughts, even though we don't know this person. Women have been known, for centuries, to go after the woman from an affair, not the cheating husband. Does that make sense to you?
All in all, these issues are true in society, and in the human psyche. But if you are one of the lucky women of the world, you DO have a close relationship with another female. Specifically, a best friend. That best friend can be your mother or sister, but us females need each other!
I can tell you from experience, I grew up mostly alone. I was the "white sheep" of my family (they were all a little crazy and I was the "mature" one). My one younger sister, and only sibling growing up, was one of my worst enemies most of my life. Her and my mother were a lot alike. And the only other family members that I was close with, were women. My aunt and my grandmother. I did have many great times with them, but in the end, they have hurt me so many times. I guess I'm a bit bitter. Bit bitter? I like that. lol
Anyway, I could be one of those women who totally HATE other women, but most of the time, I do not. Because after all the growing up I've done, I've learned this: Having a close relationship with another female can save your life, emotionally and personally!
Women share a deep connection with each other. We all suffer many of the same ills, we all go through many of the same experiences (unfortunately for many of us), and we can be the smile on another woman's face, if we just be ourselves. Yes there are women out there who don't deserve to have a strong, loving relationship because they're too bitter and cold. But maybe when you see a woman acting in that manner, she's really saying "I'd like to be friends with you but I have no other communication skills, so I'll be nasty because that's all I know".
Our inner children, which we all have, need to be babied at times. Sometimes that inner child can keep us from going insane due to the inihilating adult responsibilities we all have to deal with. Get together with your girlfriend, go shopping, talk about clothes, talk about kids, talk about your husband or your mother-in-law. These simple tasks can truly and honestly help you live longer and happier. After a crazy week of work, kids, errands, etc. one of the best things you can do for yourself (after you and your lover have given each other the attention each of you deserves) the best thing you can do for yourself is get together for a "chick flick", dinner, or a simple walk in the mall with a girlfriend. Happiness is proven to help you live healthier and longer. So all of you "haters" out there, smile!
If you don't already have a close girlfriend and think it's a "dead end" subject, please don't give up. I hope many of you already HAVE that good friend, but if not, you must get out into the world and open up. Take time for yourself as a woman and realize that a friendship is something that CAN help you become a better, happier person/mother/wife!
As you can probably tell, if you've read this hub to this point, you may notice that I speak pretty easily about poor female relationships. I guess I assume sometimes that everybody else is suffering with a social phobia as I do. But I do know that whether you suffer the same fate or not, you must find that great friend. Even moreso if you do suffer emotionally in this way. If you're an introvert, you must heed this advice even stronger! It could be the only medicine you need. Plus it's organic and free! How much better can you get?
Good luck to all:)
- A Special Tribute To Sisters - Our Friends
by Candace Not everyone in the world has the privilege to have a sister. Some have several sisters and some may have just one. A sister can be one of the closest friends you will ever have in a lifetime....