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How to get her to like you.

Updated on August 24, 2010

Women and love

Women are from Venus?

We men often use statements about women to insist that "the problem with women" is that they are impossible to predict or understand.

We hear it said that Women are from Venus and similar statements because they are so different to men. It can be daunting to confront, but the task is to try.

The way to get a woman to like you may involve a bit of hard work!

Firstly know that women are very modern creatures and smarter than you may give them credit for about you and what you represent as a prospect to share their time or their bed with, and it is not all about size or sexual prowess.

Beauty is a woman


Audrey Hepburn

Audrey Hepburn kept her beauty her whole life. Older women can be beautiful too.
Audrey Hepburn kept her beauty her whole life. Older women can be beautiful too.


Older women can be even more beautiful when they are intelligent.
Older women can be even more beautiful when they are intelligent.

Today's women.

Women are different, but that is no excuse for not trying to be connected with half the human race!

Modern girls and women are already doing all the types of jobs that men do and often doing them better.

Consequentially your identifying with your job is not the big sell it may have been in the age of living in caves when they were dependant on the larger stronger men to eat!

We are still mammals but much else has changed and women are now pre-determined to look for a whole lot more than rugged good looks or money to pass on to their offspring. Most have their own money, job, car and independence.

Great big wonderful you to the rescue.

That lovely girl is not waiting for big strong you to come along and rescue her. She  does not need rescuing, she need nourishment in other ways, affection, love and caring to compliment her life, not someone to take her away from her life.

These days women want a man who understands their need for independence and to be the force behind that independence, because the traditional role of the higher mammals has changed for the better, with women being more confident and assertive.

The instinct to nest and build a family is as strong as ever but the means of achieving this have changed along with the confidence and assertiveness that modern social education and knowledge has brought to the outcomes needed.

Women now rightly see that they want a sensitive loving man to support the family and to be a rock by providing a caring and loving environment at home and as an in house masculine role model for any children they may have.

Men have a female side too and it is high time we learnt something about the feminine if we are to be respected and loved by women.The more men get in touch with their own feminine attributes the better we will be as men.

A real Alpha male has both sides of his person on display, not just the macho part. This is more obvious to the young generation of switched on males, but in later life it becomes screamingly obvious to those men who have embarrassed this part of themselves as fathers of grown children and as grandparents.

getting back to the mammalian side of things, if we are to be in relationships with women then we need to know more about their values.

Women are used to putting their own needs last. They are nurturing, loving and wonderful in so many ways.They are also generally a lot more in touch with their own and other people's feelings.

An insensitive approach to women will send most of them out of your life faster than a speeding hormone.

It is not that they are demanding or difficult. They just get it. What they understand is how important it is to be an emotionally supportive person.

They have the skills in important things that a lot of men miss altogether so we must learn about them or stay lonely and alone.

Many Men are self promoting and spend all there efforts when dating talking about their achievements and bragging to impress when they should be listening and learning.

When a women is looking for a man, she will be looking for traits that enforce her beliefs that he can understand her and her needs now and in the future.

Pretending to be a sensitive man will not work, they will see straight through you. You need to learn how to relate to women to have the honor of having a relationship with them.

Try putting yourself last in the conversation by asking questions about her likes and dislikes, her hobbies and how she likes to spend her time.

When you talk to her listen most of the time. She may ask what you do for a living, what you like and what you are interested in. Just answer the questions to her satisfaction then ask her about herself after answering her questions with humor and in a lighthearted way. Do not sound like you run the world or that you take your importance too seriously.

I would suggest that the way to show her that you care is by being caring in your approach. An example would be if she has dressed nicely to go out with you, look, notice her and what she is wearing, compliment her, in that order!

Do not be sexually pushy. Just don't do it. Your modern women will ask you if and when she is ready for sex.

*Do some research on what she likes. I do not mean that you should be intrusive or stalk her. If you listen you will discover what her interests are.

If you do not know anything about her sport, or hobby, find out something then ask her about it.

Flowers are good any time, just ask the florist what would suit the occasion. They have flowers for any mood or situation you can imagine. Guess why?

WOMEN LOVE FLOWERS!!!!! you dumb ass!Buy them or borrow them, but use them as they have magic powers and are Dark Vader weapons that let a women know that you are interested and that you understand the significance of beauty in her life.

*Pay close attention to your appearance, and particularly how you smell.

No overpowering aftershave, no spilling the cologne under the arm pits and no body odor of the sweaty type. If you get scared spit-less and sweat like a navvy in her presence then after doing all you can with your hygiene tell her she scares you and why.

A nice soap and a clean body with a deodorant and a light amount of good cologne is safest. If the body chemistry is to work you want her to get a slight whiff of your pheromones hiding behind your nice cologne up close, not a nose full. (I wish some of my female friends would get that one too)

* See if there is something you can do for her to help her in her life.

This will give her some good reasons to like you as she will see you are a person who is good at caring. A big plus with modern smart girls, who are over neanderthals like those of my generation.

If the attraction is just her physical beauty, be warned. Look carefully at yourself. It is commonly known in psychology that sort of attraction lasts about 6 weeks in to the relationship, so is not worth the effort really.

Relationship comes with a lot of responsibility and caring,so consider carefully, as people may get hurt otherwise.

If you are lucky enough to find a beautiful women who you are genuinely very fond of, her beauty will be visible to you in her personality.

If you learn to love yourself enough you will see the good woman not just her beauty.

If this happens try hard to be the real man she wants because a women is not just a beautiful creature from another planet. She can be your loving soul mate even when you are old.

A few of my friends got it right. two of them leap in to my mind. Bob is mid sixty's still a big strong man. He was never an oil painting even when young. He is a gentle man, but not the sort of person to be on the wrong side of. He is not short of courage or power. Other men behave around him as he could pick the average guy up and break him in half! He is not aggressive at all, he just emanates that he is powerful without trying.

He speaks of his wife of forty years as if she was his twenty year old new bride.

He loves her now as he loves her when he first saw her. His love is blind. He still sees her like that and she is in her mid sixty's too.

Is she happy with him? You bet she is. She sees her big guy with the stomach over his belt like he is an Adonis.

Another fine example is another of my friends. Lets call him John, as he is here on hub-pages and I will not out him here. He is so different to Bob. He is a small man, at least on the outside. He is, like bob gentle and kind. His bride of more than forty years is still obviously in love with him and he idolizes her.

Men are funny in one way that women should know.

When we love them all we see is how beautiful they are at first. Then as they grow old, they continue to look beautiful to us.

The more time we are with them the more we get to see their inner beauty.

One thing both these guys have in common apart from the fact that they are still in love and happy with their chosen lady is the women themselves.

Both their wives sound like sexy young women on the phone. They just do not seem to have lost their youth. They are wise, and yes they are getting old but they have kept an aspect of youth that is now calm, endearing and yes, sexy.

So if you want women to like you, be who you are but grow the other side.

You will love yourself for it.


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    • Joey Hall profile image

      Joey Hall 

      3 years ago

      I'm a gay man and I randomly found this while browsing lol ...

      Great read!

      Woman or man, the ingredients to a lasting relationship is honesty and selflessness.. both ways :)

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I do appreciate women Soumyasrajan. I enjoyed your comment very much! Thank you.

    • profile image


      8 years ago from Mumbai India and often in USA

      Hi! earnesthub

      Enjoyed your hub very much. Looks like you adore women very much. Who doesn't? Even women do that much more than men and not so unreasonably.

      You have so many interesting observations. Reading your article I feel a little trace of that sweet feeling in the song from My Fair Lady (Pygmalion) - "Why can't a woman be more like a man"

      Though one adores them more (at least I do) because despite all such wishes, your talks (may be only a little, from you ) and of so many others -- women are women

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you Keith, I am pleased you liked it. I know that you are a great husband and father so your comment is much appreciated.

      I love flowers! One of my female friends always brings me flowers. lol

      An female fan once bought me an electronic ignition system for my Honda Goldwing!

      I was flabbergasted that she went to so much trouble to find one. I had motorcycle shops at the time and could not find one amongst all my wholesalers!

      I felt very loved!

    • attemptedhumour profile image


      8 years ago from Australia

      A difficult topic handled with that much care that i'm going to buy you some flowers.Cheers Ern.

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you SomeWayOuttaHere! It warms my heart to see love going so strong for so long.

    • SomewayOuttaHere profile image


      8 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

      that was nice...especially when you wrote about the men you know that have been in long term relationships. sums it up nicely....

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you Valerie! Hands across the water! I have not spent much time in Georgia and that was a long time ago.

      I remember it was beautiful though!

    • valeriebelew profile image


      8 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

      Nice hub. I actually found you in a forum where you were defending a political stand with which I agree, and I thus wanted to read some of your hubs. This one is what I would expect, based on your thoughts in the forum, even though the forum was not related to men, women, or the gender gap. Strange that I live in a small Georgia town, about an hour south of Atlanta, in the U.S., and have to talk to someone in Australia to find someone with my views. Good day, and good hubbing.


    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      And I smiled when I recognised that you must have read most if not all of the hub to find that! Thank you!

    • Marliza Gunter profile image

      Marliza Gunter 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      Hmm...I smiled at the magic powers of the Dark Vader weapons... :)

    • marcofratelli profile image


      8 years ago from Australia

      Spoken like a true gentleman! Some great tips here! Men, take note ahead of Lover's Month.

    • Singular Investor profile image

      Singular Investor 

      8 years ago from Oxford

      Am I from Pluto ? Have I missed the point here ? Put me straight if I have, but who says women are from Mars ? The book was Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. Or were you arguing the opposite and I'm too tired ?

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you for your comment.

    • donotfear profile image

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      I'm glad I read this.

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you Jon. I am very pleased you thought it worthwhile.

    • dutchman1951 profile image


      9 years ago from Tennessee, USA

      This is excelent Earnest, words we all should listen to.

      Well said, Well done.

      Jon in Nashville

    • hinckles koma profile image

      hinckles koma 

      9 years ago from nyc

      love this article. thanks

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Now that is a positive response! Thank you!

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 

      9 years ago from Cabin Fever

      Wow, this a delightful hub!

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Rob, your a gem! Thanks for the compliment.

    • Pearldiver profile image

      Rob Welsh 

      9 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time.

      Ummm So thank you for showing me all the things that I have overlooked for so long lol. Nice to meet another guy who has taken the time to understand both sexes. Good hub Earnest and it looks set to get you into a lot of trouble; of the best kind!

      Keep the gems flowing Sir Earnest... enjoyed this one.. Rob

    • Charia Samher profile image

      Charia Samher 

      9 years ago

      Hmmm I think my husband have to read this! Well we're ok as in great and I don't think I would want somebody else even in my next lifetime (oh) ! It's just that, I love to receive flowers and he rarely gives me one huhu!

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you shibashake! Men sometimes forget that their female half have some interests of their own!

    • shibashake profile image


      9 years ago

      Ooohh - you are good ;) I envy your other half.

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      No flowers for you then shibashake, maybe a nice salsa music CD?

    • shibashake profile image


      9 years ago

      Nah, I like a man who slaps me around and expects me to be at his beck and call :)

      Actually, you said it very well. The only thing that I would disagree with, is the part about flowers. I actually dislike getting flowers. Its true! :)

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Wow! Thank you Shalini! I am very happy to hear that you got a man that you deserve. He has great taste too!

      Thank you AEvans. I always felt that Dr. Phil is a typically narcisitically cathected shrink. The worse type. I also think that he talks down to people. He could do with a good woman!

    • AEvans profile image


      9 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      I do have to say, that you are much better then Dr. Phil and you have honestly pointed out all of the attributes, desires and wants that a woman needs. Thumbs up!!!:)

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 

      9 years ago from India

      A perfect guide to what women want and how to be what they want! Thank you for a wonderful, thoughtful, insightful hub - have you ever thought of making this into a video - you'll be doing man-kind a great service :)

      I met someone like that many years ago - and said Yes - and like you said, it only gets better!

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you MissJamieD I owe any awareness I have to the wonderful women I know, and yes, if men get this, they are in for a better life than those who don't

    • MissJamieD profile image


      9 years ago from Minnes-O-ta

      I love this hub. It's right on the money too. It's nice to know that some men are observant:)

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you sevon77 I feel sure that with your guidance your cherished boys have a wonderful start in life. I love to get down to face level and listen to my grandchildren. They love to speak as equals. I can see all the wonderful facial expressions when listening to them face to face.Children need our love like food. It helps them feel sure of themselves.

    • sevon77 profile image


      9 years ago from Chesapeake Va

      Amen my brother I'm gonna suggest that all my boys read this article.

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you charles, I aim to be understood, so I guess that's a good thing.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Love this article.. Just for its simplicity.. .


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