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I saw the Signs and had to let go of the Toxic Friendship

Updated on May 24, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Toxic people are not worth part of your life

Some people are nice to you when they need a favor, or something of value.

When I realized her fake friendship, and toxic behavior, I stopped visiting her.

I saw and heard, and had to get out of that friendship sooner than expected.

· For example:

Her false pretenses in trying to make me feel good when together, and gossip about me when I am not around did not go with my kind of friendship.

The fake conversations from this woman in trying to make me feel as if I am part of a friendship but I was not,, that certainly didn't not come from true people.

The question about the whiskey, and her fake smiles for everything to look good on the outside is not what I need in my life.

When deep down she has a chip on a shoulder, definitely not a kind of person I would call a friend.

She does not like the idea of me having any conversations with others known to her.

The envy shows in her face of my progress and of me working for myself.

She enjoys passing on comments about what I have and can afford to buy, something no real friend would comment on.

Her envious ways showed when she bought what I had and what she could not afford.

I have taken in everything she said to me and of me. I don't need her in my life. I don't need to hang on to her for anything.

Being with this woman just causes unhappiness in my good life,

I don't believe I should live my life according to the opinions of others, or to please others at any time. I don't have a reason to do that.

· It is my motto in my life.

I don't have any family in Croatia except for my husband and son. It is difficult to get close to other people and is glad to know the few acquaintances I have in my life.

I have always known some people are fake and toxic, what I didn't know is how horrible people can be as to pretend with such kind of behavior.

It did hurt me when I found out about her envious character and after reading the many so helpful comments on my hub, '' I am faced with Another Greater Challenge,’’

My many challenges showed me more than I ever needed to know in this life, I treat others kindly and with respect.

I don't want to be concerned with toxic people.

My family life is my priority.

Most important of all to me, I have my life and I choose to live by the way I know is best for me.

  • Toxic people can destroy any individual, mentally and physically, emotionally and psychologically.

It is poison to one’s health, and that is what I certainly don't need from her or anyone else.

· Another story about Friendship:

I had a friend during my school days she was good person we got on well and had a good friendship.

Once we had parted our ways after the schooling years.

We had lost contact for a while. It was silly we lived close by but I guess with our busy lifestyles we did not see each other as often as we could have at that time.

I often tried to make new plans to meet up with her but time was of the essence for us.

· I was always the one trying to contact her not her trying contact me for a simple, ‘’hello.’’

After I married and had my son a few years went by before she contacted me to go out for lunch.

I was happy and we got together for some girl time-out and enjoyed the day.

All went well, but again I lost contact with her for a quite some time.

One day out of the blue she telephoned me for a huge favor. I was surprised by her telephone call.

She did not have the time before the incident to contact me, only then did she know how to contact me and off-course knew my number.

I helped her out of a complicated issue. She was pregnant with her colleague’s husband’s baby from her workplace.

This person needed me to help her have the baby away from her home, and without the rest of the family having an idea of her pregnancy.

I managed to get her out of her problem she had the baby elsewhere, and had adopted a baby to her lover's family.

A secret kept for years. Only I knew about her secret. However, my ''so-called,'' friend did not appreciate my efforts in helping her when she really needed me.

Since then I have not heard from her. I have no idea where she lives at. I was a good friend, and kept her secret maybe others did eventually find out, or they did not.

It did hurt me to see how she found the opportunity to use me for a favor, and thereafter forget about me.

Anyhow, I have learned lots about toxic people. The fake friends and of the envious people are not worth having in my life. The little experiences have taught me how to approach such situations.

I write about what concerns me to get something of my mind.

It has been too long dealing with such issues. I prefer not to be used by others . it is a kind of behavior I can't always escape from at anytime.

I know more now and have learned of how to deal with such beings on most occasions.

  • I have outgrown that relationship.

I learned that she eventually married an abusive man. Also, he is over-possessive. This man physically abused her. She did not sound the happiest during our last conversations had over fifteen years ago.

People are rude, and can be cold or ruthless when you least expect it. I made sure to get rid of toxic relationships before I lost myself in the moment.

I trusted my intuition and know when I am correct about people. Sometimes I see what I don't want to in others. I think that it is a bit of my weak point which I can't deny.

Usually, your friendship is supposed to last for a certain amount of time and not longer. I understand this inwardly. I did so for me to be rid of emotional pain and had made the right decision spiritually.

I have a sister with whom I have lost touch with, and did not have that sister-sister friendship one of my battles of life. I hope in time we could build our friendship well together.

Relationships can't always be successful with family, or with friends. .

‘’You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.’’

In my case, I have chosen my family. I have my son and husband and that matters most to me.

  • I have not been successful in having good friendships while back home and now in my new life.

The little experiences have showed me to keep away from toxic people and focus on people whom I know are like me.

It is hard to accept not having a good friendship with my sister.

I am working toward that and hope I can get to it soon.

I have tolerated such behaviors for far too long and have finally written of what is no longer on my list.

I will do the occasional wave and the occasional greeting nothing more than that for me.

I did not confront the envious person I just kept my distance from her heartless behavior.

She did not hurt me any more than she had hurt herself.

The woman who did not care of how I felt when she asked about the whiskey she is no longer part of my life.

She does not like it when I talk to my neighbors. It kills her to see and hear my friendly conversations when with other neighbors.

I don't care for her she is just an acquaintance to me.

Consider the feeling of others before making harsh comments heard.

If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything.

Don't blurt out words to hurt the feelings of others.

I can only take that much and when it gets too much I know to let go.

Let go of Toxic People

How to Deal with Toxic People

Fake and Toxic People

Are you the People Pleaser?

See results

Get rid of Toxic People

© 2014 Devika Primić

Comments

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    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi thank you for stopping by I appreciate a new follow

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 

      2 years ago from Bangalore

      devika,

      Well written and comprehensive. Will follow.

      - Hari

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi grand old lady life is just how it is for me and I prefer being direct with my words and let others how I feel right away. Thank you for a thoughtful comment.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      4 years ago from Philippines

      There really are people who try to hang onto you, whether it's because they want to get something out of you, or they think you have this quality that will raise their own level in the eyes of others by being your friend. Yes, you have to get rid of them, especially when they are untrustworthy. I enjoy your being frank and spontaneous in the way you write.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi cecileportilla thank you for stopping by and I do have a few good friends a social life is very important.

    • cecileportilla profile image

      Cecile Portilla 

      4 years ago from West Orange, New Jersey

      Glad you god rid of the toxic relationship DDE. I hope you make some good friends in Croatia. Your positive outlook will help.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Janellegems thank you and I my relationship with my sister will get better just haven't seen her in a while. Your comments are greatly appreciated.

    • Janellegems profile image

      Janellegems 

      4 years ago from United States

      Thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom in identifying and dealing with toxic and fake people. This helps. Hope your relationship with your sister get restored in due time.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jtrader you are so right there are many good people the few spoil the broth should not be noticed. Thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ologsinquito nicely thought of ''pray for them.'' I intend to do just that keep my distance and I feel so good in doing so Thank you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Good Day D.A.L. Thank you for the vote up, interesting and useful. I enjoy being happy and a good life in all. Toxic people I don't need not here or ever. They just know ow to cause misery to one's life. I appreciate your continuous comments.

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 

      4 years ago

      You did the best thing. There are nicer people out there.

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 

      4 years ago from USA

      Yes, we have to put space between ourselves and anyone who has proven themselves to be toxic. As a Catholic, I pray for them, but I also stay a safe distance away.

    • D.A.L. profile image

      Dave 

      4 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      The main thing here is that you have recognized and disposed of the toxic people in your life. Many people do not realize it until they have been hurt or and emotionally damaged. I know you enjoy the beautiful things in life and never let these be poisoned. Voted up,interesting and useful.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi AliciaC I have made good friends but I did not see this one coming now i know more and have let her go I feel so good. Thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      mylindaelliott thank you for sharing your comment here I so agree with your valuable point.''I think it is the best thing to let people go who are toxic to you.''

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi words55 it is all part of life and accepting that kind of person into ones life can destroy them mentally. I got out when I knew it was time I have had enough of that toxic behavior. Thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      realtalk247 I have let that friendship go due to many incidents and now I am free of her toxic behavior. Thank you for a helpful insight here. I appreciate your comments.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Ann so kind of you to share your mind here. I hope all works out with my sister. I have learned not to let toxic people into my life ever again. I appreciate you stopping by. Thank you.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I hope you make some good friends in Croatia and that your relationship with your sister improves, Devika. Toxic relationships are very unpleasant.

    • mylindaelliott profile image

      mylindaelliott 

      4 years ago from Louisiana

      Although I try to get along with people I'm not a very good people pleaser. I think it is the best thing to let people go who are toxic to you.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 

      4 years ago from Chicago

      I

      Hi DDE, I bet it felt good to get it out of your system. This goes well with the hub/poem that I recently wrote, "If More People Were Real." I'm glad you read it. I'm glad that you wrote this hub. Everything that we do is in the sight of God and things done that are not right, we must pay for and it is not necessarily God that punishes us for it but it is a normal course of feeling guilty for doing such a thing.

    • realtalk247 profile image

      realtalk247 

      4 years ago

      Bravo on your statement: I don't believe I should live my life according to the opinions of others or please others at any time.

      Unfortunately some people are in your life for a reason, a season, a lifetime. I've learned this lesson the hard way but one of the biggest lessons I'm in the process of understanding is the importance of a circle of friends with a good mind, similar morals and interests. Not everyone who smiles in your face is happy for you. When you interact with people who have kind spirit, good hearts, and a morality system-chances are you will have a better friendship. Most of the problems occur when we interact with people who have poor values, low self-esteem, or lack a level of understanding in live. What do we expect from an apple tree but an apple? Don't regret your friendship and good intent but understand how to interact with others in layers. Monitor the thinking and behavior of that person and if the two of you aren't on the same level of being then let it go.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      4 years ago from SW England

      It's true that negative attitudes and unkindness can hurt you and yours and you are right to ignore those kind of people or to keep them at a distance. True friends are there when you need them and don't judge you or hurt you.

      Your positive philosophy is great; good luck to you. I hope you mend the relationship with your sister but if not at least you'll know that you tried. All the best. Ann

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