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IT TAKES A MAN #2
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The Tall Guy
In the first blog of this series, we talked about a "little" LOUD voice that sometimes or often undermines our ability to have a gut feeling that says, "I’m a man," in contrast to "I’m a wimp...a little boy...a pussy...dickless...small...impotent...unattractive...weak...loser...hopeless...
good as dead...unlovable...unworthy...unaccomplished...unimportant...lousy provider...pushover...." Hey, hey, STOP. That’s enough!
Where do all these "little" LOUD voices come from? Well, we certainly were not born with them, so the simple answer is from our experience, and unfortunately probably from our experience with other men, whether that be Dad or some other guy, like a coach or teacher or minister or doctor or neighbor. Or worse, from our buddies.
Now, I have to tell you this part of the story or the rest of this blog might not make any sense. I have always been a little self-conscious of my height. 5' 71/2" As I neared adolescents, I dreamed of being six feet or more or at least as tall as Dad who was 5' 10". And yes, I realize, I could be a lot shorter! So there's the background.
Some years ago, I discovered that there was a place inside of me where I felt TALL. As I experimented with allowing this place to emerge almost as if it was a person, I named this part of me, "The Tall Guy." The tall guy has the ability to walk up straight and tall. The tall guy definitely feels manly, and, in particular, feels smooth even when confronted by another powerful man. The tall guy eats well, exercises, enjoys flirting, and is appropriately sexually forward in bed with his wife. In general, the tall guy carries a kind of confidence in all of his relationships with young and old. In other words, the tall guy can be both grown-up and playful.
The tall guy also knows how to express his anger without going bananas. He can argue without his voice becoming shaky and going up in range. He is able to walk about the earth somewhat like a Gorilla, somewhat like a Lion, and somewhat like a Lamb, somewhat like a Teddy Bear, and somewhat like a Donkey! He’s able to weave it ALL together!
I’m not sure where the tall guy came from. Obviously from somewhere deep inside myself. But sometimes, it seems like he runs away. But I’m not sure if that’s what is happening. Maybe it’s more me chasing him away. Or perhaps me running away from him.
I do know that I tend to stop trusting him in times of crisis, and for some reason think that I’ll be safer if I regress and become small as if the crisis or contender is the alpha dog. Wow! Having a chance to explore that tall guy is very interesting and very rich.
How about you? Do you have a tall guy and what is your experience of him? Where do you think he comes from? Or if you are a woman, do you have a tall gal?
THANKS FOR EXPLORING THIS WITH ME AND THANKS FOR READING. Share your thoughts in a comment below.
No, I won't just leave you hanging. More in the next blog, but this is big enough bite for the moment.