19 Things Women Cheated on Should Know
Cheating and Getting Caught
“I’d never cheated on a boyfriend, but I never had a boyfriend who didn’t cheat on me!” a young lady told me. It’s unfortunate. This sentence shows disgust and a twinge of accusation. Cheating generally means that your partner is not fully satisfied with you or feels that something is missing in the relationship. If he was completely in love and happy within the relationship, then why would he jeopardize all that he has for a five-minute fling with another girl? When men cheat, it basically means that they are looking for something their girlfriend or wife is not providing. Often times, it comes down to sex.
Lack of commitment resulting in sexual and emotional denial or having mediocre sex, without infidelity of any kind is impossible. If guys cheat, then they are obviously not ready to commit to a relationship. Gary Chapmen wrote, Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, transverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become un-climbable, seas un-crossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our plight in life.”
It is your responsibility as a woman to clearly define your values and principles in your relationships with men. When a very insecure person and very self-confident person begin dating, they almost always have a different understanding about the relationship. You might understand your relationship as being long-term, high-commitment, and exclusive (that means no other girls allowed). Your boyfriend may see things very differently. To him it is about hanging out, having fun, making out, and moving on.
You would prefer to assume (or in some cases, dream) he is as committed to you as you are to him. One reason guys cheat is that they have a different understanding about the relationship. And so, they don’t think fooling around with another girl is cheating at all. Guys just want sex from a girl. Girl isn’t willing to give them sex just yet, so they stick around. They wait for a while, giving promises of everlasting love till they finally get what they want.
Lots of boyfriends are honest, they keep to their promises, and they do not cheat. When it is time for a dating relationship to end, they end it and move on to another girl. In other words, they don’t start something with another girl while they are still in a dating relationship. Some girls would ask if such men exist. While most men get excited about the relationship, simply because the relationship is the way to get what they want — usually sex. Oscar Wilde wrote, “I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.”
If you have a history of dating cheaters, then you might need to rethink how you pick your boyfriends. There’s no doubt that being cheated on sucks.
So why do men cheat if they know it’s going to potentially ruin a relationship or seriously hurt someone? Learning what the reasons behind why guys cheat might help you become more apt at spotting if it might happen and prevent it from happening to you.
1. Your boyfriend could be such that attracts sexy women who come onto him, and he doesn’t know how to say “no.” You probably know about some girls who stalk guys like sexual predators- they try in every way they can to get them to cheat. Unfortunately, some guys just don’t have what it takes to refuse.
2. Some men with low-esteem regard infidelity as an ego-boosting venture especially if he’s less successful or earns less money than his girlfriend. Many men consider it a status symbol to be able to afford a mistress. He may view it as one of the trappings of success. They think cheating is a macho thing to do.
3. Either he never gets caught or he is allowed to do so by girlfriends who keep taking him back. In other words, he has never had to face consequences that are painful enough to give him a good enough reason to stop. He knows you’ll take him back. He knows you’ll never leave him. He cheated before and you didn’t hesitate to take him back without making him go through any changes or holding him accountable for his behavior. Sometimes he thinks you’re too stupid, too naïve, too busy, too in love with them, too trusting to find out, or even suspect that he’s having an affair.
4. He spends a lot of time in the company of people who cheat, such as workmates, or close friends; he’ll succumb to peer pressure and cheats to be part of the crowd. Some men give in easily to the temptation to cheat because that is what their friends and peer’s group do.
5. Sometime a man cheats because he wants to end the marriage or relationship. Instead of being bold and telling the girl or wife, it’s over, he takes the coward’s way out, knowing that if he is caught cheating, his girlfriend/wife will leave him or kick him out.
6. Some men cheat out of sense of adventure, to see what it’s like to have sex with someone else. Such men the relationship was never their goal—but sex. Men who married young, or had limited sex experience before settling down, may cheat to see what they might have missed.
7. Because he knows he can get away with it. Some men cheat because they know their partner will look the other way. He cheated before and you let him get away with it or you didn’t find out so he’s confident he can do it again.
8. Your boyfriend might be presented with an opportunity to cheat without the fear of getting caught, so he took advantage of the situation.
9. Many men feel they are celebrities such as the rich, famous, handsome, sexy, and charming, and as a result they are entitled to cheat because of who they are.
10. Some cheaters actually derive excitement by having a secret affair. They view all the ducking, dodging and sneaking around infidelity involves as a form of fun or a high-risk sport.
11. Some men are hardcore cheaters for whom cheating is a way of life. They like having lots of women and pitting one against the other. To them, it’s just a game. With such men, it is even more likely that it will happen again.
12. Some men cheat because they’re really in love with the other woman because she is giving what you couldn't give. It may have started out as an innocent friendship that became an emotional affair, which progressed to sexual infidelity.
13. If his role models such as his father, uncles cheated, he may be subconsciously programmed to follow their example, considering infidelity to be the norm – especially if the female role models in his life tolerated the infidelity.
14. Some men cheat to fulfill their sexual fantasies, or because they want kinky sex, or sex acts their wives or girlfriends won’t perform.
15. Some infidelity (especially one night stands) can be attributed to the influence drugs or alcohol, which can lower inhibitions, and impair good judgment, resulting in behavior the cheater may later regret.
16. Your boyfriend may come from a culture (Caribbean, Africa, certain European or Asian cultures) where it’s acceptable for men to have mistresses.
17 Men above 50’s and older sometimes cheat to prove they can still attract and sexually satisfy another woman – usually one who is younger than their mate. So if your boyfriend/husband is old, he may be trying to prove his virility.
18. Though revenge cheating is more with women than with men, sometimes a man will cheat to get back a wife or girlfriend who cheated on him.
19. The man could be suffering from sexual addiction. Your boyfriend could cheat once, then twice, then three times, so it becomes easier and easier to give in, harder and harder to say no until eventually it becomes an addiction. Sex addiction is a medical condition in which the cheater really needs to get professional help. It’s not your fault if he cheats on you. The most notorious cheater of late is Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods claims to have a sexual addiction, and because of that, he just couldn’t say no.