- Gender and Relationships
If As Only In A Dream
Just Sharing Some Of Myself
This Hub is about life and the twists and turns it can take. It can be cruel at times and at others times a matter of ecstasy. Both of those ends of the spectrum are usually self-induced. I’m known for my controversial political Hubs because that is where I write now on the writing spectrum. There is another side to The Frog Prince that most people will never see, much less experience. I just want to share parts of that side with those who care to read.
Lets Set The Mood For This. Quite A Video
Wayne Brown recently wrote a nice poem about dreams. With the recent events of life that were taking place around me, it was like he had written it just for me. I dare to dream being a Pisces. That’s something we are known for. My dream for years has been to retire down in the Caribbean with a second mate by my side and actually enjoy the “golden years” (goodness I hate that term) of my life and be active and happy with someone who shares that vision. The reality of the dream is that I have every intention of dying happy and not in front of the TV set bitching and moaning about how life sold me short. The only reason life sells you short is because you let it.
The thing is finding that second mate. I divorced my son’s mother because I am a communicator and she was not. There were side issues but I got a bit tense when there were no more than 10 words spoken in the house in any given 24 hour period. It still makes me tense. Even after that was over my dream, which will become reality, endured. I stayed single for a very long time. I’m not sure it was selfishness or something else but I became a bit picky. I shared openly with women I became involved with about my “dream.” I made it pretty clear that if they couldn’t imagine living that sort of lifestyle then we probably shouldn’t get to second base. It usually ended up on the scrap heap because many people don’t have the boldness to imagine themselves sailing in the Caribbean and having a ball along the way.
You either have vision or you have tunnel vision. But I was always right upfront with a potential second mate. Buy in or cash out. I would much rather that one cash out rather than think it was “just a dream.” Something should come on, call it the light, when the person you are interested in talks about doing something in life often enough in the “future tense” of this is what I am going to do when I retire. That’s more than a dream, that’s a plan.
I reckon I call it a shared vision. After all, in a healthy relationship, it helps if the team is pulling in the same direction rather than at cross purposes. You and your mate ought to be at least on the same sheet of music, maybe a few bars apart here and there, but still on the same sheet of music. There will come a time, maybe some of you haven’t arrived there yet, when your children are grown, they are raising their children and doing the same struggle through life that you went through to arrive at the point in your life where your life should become about you. You did your duty and hopefully in an honorable manner.
My intention here is not to attack anyone or what they believe, not by any means. You can say, “You’re being awfully selfish.” I guess that is one way to think of it. But you should let someone know right upfront that your goals in life, leading up to your death and theirs, aren’t the same before you start going down the path of life together, not afterward. Being a communicator, and I see myself as a good one, that would seem prudent. If you can’t seem to see yourself doing something then put that right out there from the get-go rather than think the person with the vision has no vision to make that vision a reality. That was a mouthful but that is what differentiates something being a dream and something being a goal. That also is called honesty.
I don’t like hurting people and definitely don’t like being hurt. But the truth of the matter is that it may be best to deal with the reality of having someone in your life who doesn’t share your vision. My son, who I love dearly, asked me once, “Dad, why are you going to retire down in the Caribbean?" I’m eying Costa Rica to port out of. My answer was rather simple and he easily understood and laughed. What I told him was, ‘So you’ll have some place to visit.” But my son knows his father and knows how often I have talked about this subject since he can remember.
Dealing with the hurt has to be done. At first, people have the tendency to turn that hurt into anger. Psychology enters into this because it is easier to deal with anger rather than the hurt one feels inside. But the anger part of it is complex because when angry with someone it usually does more harm to you than it ever does to the person it is aimed at. Why do I say that? Because after you target is gone and out of your life, you will have to still deal with the hurt. It will still be there and have to be dealt with before you can ever have another healthy relationship with another person.
Or you can take the opposite approach and think you can go it alone. How healthy is that? I guess life itself can be a dream if you let it be. I, for one, don’t want to end my life in the “what if” mode. What if you actually pursue your “dream.” The worst thing that could happen is you find out that it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The best thing that can happen is that you die with a smile on that big stupid thing you call your face!
I, at first, did not place a comment block here when I posted this Then something was said to me about this. It went as follows, "If I had known you were serious, I never would have married you." Well now, If I had known the other person wasn't, I would have never married her either. OH DUH!. I wasn’t aiming this at anyone in particular other than myself. I have found, as a writer, that sometimes I need to put some emotions on paper where I can see them, feel them and deal with them. So much can get spinning around in your head that it can drive one bonkers.
Sweet dreams to all! Just pursue those dreams and keep working toward a goal and not wander aimlessly through life. Extend a hand, take a hand and find a second mate in life who shares your vision. Everything will come out much better in the long run if you’re pulling in the same direction. These thoughts could be about you, or maybe even you, or you, or you. But the reality is that they are really a part of me. Peace be with you!
There is a deep side to The Frog Prince. I love to laugh, tease, joke but above all else - communicate. I don’t consider myself to be living life in shallow waters. I believe this is my 99th Hub since I arrived here. Maybe there will be another…
FOOTNOTE: My intent here is not to humiliate or piss anyone off but to let those inquiring minds, that my truer friends have, in on a part of what is happening in my life and why. If things and events are dealt with honestly from the onset none of what is happening would be happening. I guess some people have a problem being honest with themselves but I sure expect them to be honest with me. Maybe I'm expecting too much from people.
So now my fellow friends, writers and readers I will bid you adieu for the time being. I will leave you with the song below, one of my favorties being a bit of a romantic.
The Frog Prince