I'm Just Not That Into You
I can't hear you, your breaking up...
Breakups are difficult. Most people have had to deal with rejection at some point in their lives. Anyone who has been broken up with can tell you that it sucks. But not many people talk about the difficulties of being the rejector; the person breaking the other person's heart.
Whether you've been dating someone for two days or two years, breaking up is a difficult thing to do. It's not fun having to look someone in the eyes and tell them that you don't want to be romantically tied to them any longer.
Although telling someone, I'm just not that into you, will never be simple, there are at least a few ways to make the process easier.
The Honest Way is The Best Way
Raise your hand if you enjoy being lied to.
Yeah, no one enjoys being lied to (unless you are just plain crazy).
When breaking up with someone it's best to be straightforward and honest about what's going on. The key to being honest is to spin your honesty with a twist of niceness.
"I'll have an honesty martini with a nice twist."
There is a way to be honest without being mean. Say you are breaking up with someone who you've been dating for 3 weeks. This man picked his nose in front of you a couple of times and he has started smelling like leftover cheese (why he is suddenly smelling this way you don't know…it's an odd occurrence). So you want to break up with the smelly nose picker without telling him, you're a smelly nose picker and I'm just not that into you anymore.
Instead you want to serve him an honesty martini with a nice twist.
One Break Up Martini Please
So, you've ordered your martini, now what?
The important thing to remember is to be straightforward, honest and nice. You need to tell him you want out of the relationship but explain this to him without harping on any of his less than likable qualities (i.e. smelling like rotten fish and publicly picking his nose).
To start off, plan a time to see him when you know you two will be alone without interruptions (unless you think he may react violently and in that case you want to meet in a very public place). Make sure you go over to his place and not the other way around. You want to be able to escape after you break it off. You don't want to be stuck in a situation where he is at your place and instead of excusing himself, after you break up, he stays and asks you a million and one questions. Go to his place, say your lines and leave.
Don't be afraid to say the famous line, we need to talk. This will let him know that something is wrong. Although he will be panicking at least he will be warned.
Before heading to his place go through what you are going to say. It's important for you to realize that if you're just not that into him then you are doing him a favor by breaking it off. Who wants to be with someone who isn't fully in the relationship? Best to break it off at the first signs of disconnection.
Once you have gone through what you will say it's time to go over to his house.
How do you like your martini?
The Act of Breaking Up
Don't be nervous. Everything is going to be okay.
This is your mantra to be repeated multiple times before entering his home. This breakup may be nerve wrecking but if you are dating a smelly nose picker then it is most likely necessary.
It's time to give him his martini. Remember, honesty with a nice twist.
Explain to him that you are not feeling as invested in the relationship as you used to. Make sure he knows that this is not "a break" it's a "break up." Some guys may think that you just need some time to sort out your feelings. If you are positive this will be a forever and always break up you need to make that clear.
Once you have handed him his martini, give him a minute to swish and swallow. Once he's finished he may ask you a few questions.
What did I do wrong?
How can I stop this from happening?
Did you meet someone else?
At this moment it's important to stick to your guns and hand him another honest martini with a nice twist. Do not begin telling him about how you can't stand the smell of him and the idea of seeing him pick his nose one more time makes you want to vomit up every meal you've ever eaten. When he asks you these questions stick to your original statement. You are not invested in the relationship anymore. In other words state, I'm just not that into you.
Once you have answered just a few of his questions you are free to leave. If he continues asking you questions just say you are sorry but you have to go. The good part about being at his place is that you are free to leave at any moment.
You are free! Didn't that feel great? You were honest and nice. He is probably upset but you broke it off in the best way possible.
Now that you are a free woman you can feel good that you did not lead the smelly nose picker on any longer.
It's time that you find someone you want to tell, I am just really into you.