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I’m Sorry You Crazy Religious Straightees For Being So…Well…Normal For A Gay!

Updated on May 15, 2012

Believe me when I say that this entry is going to bother me a lot more than any of you straightee religious right wing tea partiers can ever imagine. It’s true, I’m a gay man who is frighteningly normal. It’s true and believe me, I take no gay pride in saying this, I’m sorry you crazy religious straightees for being so…well…normal for a gay! – Don’t Get Me Started!

Is it my fault that I found the one man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with 23 years ago? Is it my fault that I’ve never been in a harness or at a sex party? Oh please, don’t judge me that I spend more time with my friends’ kids helping them with their homework than telling them what to wear to prom or how to be “fabulous.” I know, I know, it’s embarrassing, right? Probably almost as embarrassing as the way you judge people based on who they’re having sex with instead of who they are as a person. But by all means, keep up the good work of glorifying the goodness of your straighteeness with shows like Pregnant At Fifteen and convincing children to have children instead of teaching them the science behind their bodies, the fact that they’re not mentally mature yet and that their self esteem is more important than being “liked” by that boy or girl who just wants to have sex with them due to the pressure of the straightee white men who control advertising in our overindulged media that tells them they should go ahead and have sex to prove they’re adults when they’re anything but and when all these executives really want to do is sell them their products.

It’s okay, I’ll continue to pay more taxes than my straightee counterparts because after all I want my cats to live in a good school district so that they can get into a good college where they’ll learn to party and get a degree in something that they’ll never be able to earn a living at when they get out because we’ve shipped all of our industries overseas. Actually if I was only paying extra taxes for our country’s kids’ education, I’d be all for it. Please, I beg of all of you, give the money to education so that perhaps when our generation has left this planet a smarter generation will be able to fix the messes we’ve made for them. We talk about leaving our kids a cleaner environment and no doubt that’s important but what about giving them clean minds to understand that most of what we’ve tried to implant into them are traces of our own parents thoughts and ideals that we’ve been unable to escape.

But back to me because according to so many of the religious right, I’m the one making God so angry. I’m causing war, disease and just about everything else from a paper cut to people starving in third world countries. How selfish of me to not at least appear on a float in a parade with a feather boa on and false eyelashes. How rude of me to be the guy who cleans up after people who leave their garbage all over the counter at Starbucks or in a parking lot. I’ve totally missed my calling of having sex with people I don’t know in alleys, wearing stiletto heels and a man purse while singing show tunes (okay, now I’ve gone too far, never met a show tune I didn’t love).

So you see, Jesus didn’t die for my sins and what you see as sin, I see as making love to the man who I chose to share my heart and bed with out of love and there can be no sin in love. I’m not ashamed of who I am or who I love. I’m just a little ashamed that I would be of no use to you religious straightee crazies on your hate ads, website and posters ‘cause I’m simply too damn normal.

And from my recent twitter post – Heaven and Earth Report – Almost a week since Obama came out supporting gay marriage, no heavens or earth swallowing us whole yet. #somelikescott


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    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

      I found you on book reviews in the categories part of HP. I like Metaphysical stuff, but read often so write book reviews from time to time if I really like one and want to share. They are almost always very low scored. So I was shocked to see a few were featured hubs in the categories page, which I've been on HP for almost 2 yrs and never knew was there. Anyway, it must be your fault......I don't know what's wrong with the right wingers in this country, but they are off the wall. You know you're making them crazy by not wearing a boa. Sigh.

    • Tactfullyrude profile image

      Tactfullyrude 5 years ago from Idaho

      Wow, this is great. SO now, I am going to call my official gay tomorrow and blame him for stubbing my toe earlier. I had NO clue we were supposed to blame you guys for everything!!! THIS INFO WOULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL WHEN I LOST A BET A MONTH AGO!!!!! This relieves so much pressure off me for any past, present or future mistakes I have and will make!!!! Btw, I totally blame the gays for cut off jean shorts...I don't care how hot you think you look in them...Wait, was it the gays or Mariah Carey? Crap. Oh and for the record? The 'straights' do way crazier crap in bed...10 Jagers in and I am a friggin Quentin Tarantino film...too soon?

    • gabgirl12 profile image

      gabgirl12 5 years ago

      Wow, its a great read. I love your insights. You are right. There are way too many 'straightee religious right wing tea partiers' and less people who just care about you for who you are, not what you do. If everyone were to be that way, we'd have less wars. They say actions speak louder than words, but I agree...some actions are none of anyone else's business.

    • Ciel Clark profile image

      Ciel Clark 5 years ago from USA

      Thanks for a great read, loved it! Voted. Off to read some more of your work. Cheers, CC

    • cherriquinn profile image

      cherriquinn 5 years ago from UK. England. Newcastle upon Tyne

      Excellent hub!! I'm so with you on this and it made me smile! I wrote a hub which addresses a little of what you say called 'Be yourself,Never be afraid' Best wishes and of course voted up!

    • nightsun profile image

      nightsun 5 years ago from northern california

      Shalah..Are you on your meds? In need of help? Or just Bored in life..?

      Regardless..Blessings to you....

    • nightsun profile image

      nightsun 5 years ago from northern california

      What No Village People?? ;) I lived with the love of my life for 9 almost 10 years til I lost her to breast cancer. I learned a long time ago that the judgement people put on me really has to do with them. Stay Strong....Happiness to you and yours, Always..

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 5 years ago from Las Vegas

      ShalahChayilJOY - Believe whatever you want to believe but it is YOU who misses the mark, the idea, the humor and just about everything with these rants that you post. I've allowed them because I think crazy should be on display and when people are good and crazy, they should be on display even more.

      That said, this is your notice - I will not allow any more of your rants to be published on my hubs. It's not that I don't think you have a right to your opinion, it's just that your opinion (in my opinion) just reeks of someone who has no sense of humor and frankly, needs to get laid! Thank YHVH that some of us ARE getting laid, dear...and we like it...A LOT!

    • ShalahChayilJOY profile image

      Shalah Chayil 5 years ago from Billings, Montana

      Sin means to miss the mark. Our Creator built sex into the body for pleasure as well as pro-creation to keep the human race multiplying. Any sexual act outside of a marriage between a man and a woman is missing the mark of the true purpose of our Creator. IF what I say bothers you so much you MUST believe it's true or you would not even feel a need to try to refute it---LauraD903. Why bother unless it bothers you? And that means it it the Spirit of our Creator pricking your soul.

      I am not condemning anyone for enjoying missing our Creators purpose. I miss HIS purpose for me in many ways still, but I ask HIM daily to redirect me to hit the mark.

      all sex is spiritual----but what spirit? I was in what i call bondage and enslavement to a spirit of lust---I so thoroughly enjoyed sex i could not imagine not having it. My body craved it! and when it was unavailable to me, I physically hurt, I emotionally hurt

      until Yeshua {Jesus] rescued me, delivered me, washed away the chemicals in my physiology and set me free to SO THOROUGHLY ENJOY HIM, HIS EXHILARATING PRESENCE the thought of merely enjoying the chemical production of, is it seratonin, no longer even tempts me.

      What I am saying is physical/emotional sex is so much less than being filled with all the fullness of our Creator. Everything is amplified and so magnified...

      There is so much more than what you settle for and fight to remain enslaved to ---- so so so much more.

      Ecstasy began with YHVH! And only HE is able to lift us to heights we can not even begin to imagine.

      so, you can settle....

      doesn't bother me

      doesn't hurt me only YOU don't know what YOU are missing.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 5 years ago from Las Vegas

      Keep the comments coming, people!! I loves 'em! Thanks for reading and writing in!

    • LauraD093 profile image

      Laura Tykarski 5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      somelikeitscott-ty for a truly refreshing read. I too have never met a "show-tune," I didn't like. Those that see homosexuality as a purely physical or sinful act have the intellect of gnats, swat them away as I do knowing that for some ignorance is their only bliss. Love your straightforward no holds bared style. Please keep them coming. I believe you have just acquired a new follower looking forward to more of your hubs.

    • ShalahChayilJOY profile image

      Shalah Chayil 5 years ago from Billings, Montana

      Yeshua gave HIS body to be shredded and poured out HIS BLOOD FOR EVERYONE. Sin means simply to miss the mark. Religion has twisted the word to mean something akin to filthy unworthy pig.

      There is a huge difference between being satisfied emotionally by enjoying sexual relations with either sex and being truly fulfilled SPIRIT, SOUL AND BODY BY THE SPIRIT OF LIFE, LOVE AND TRUTH.

      You say you are "making love" with your male partner. But there is a huge difference between true pure love and lust---the strong, overpowering desire for sexual, emotional intimacy with someone to 'feel' alive and 'whole'. I am NOT condemning you!

      Just saying having known those FEELINGS in a relationship and KNOWING the LOVE OF YESHUA that NOW fills me SPIRIT, SOUL AND BODY.

      I'll take the latter anytime over the counterfeit of what I once had.

    • shea duane profile image

      shea duane 5 years ago from new jersey

      some people just want to hate someone... I think it's a way to block self-hate. For example, i said something that was pro-union the other day, and half my facebook 'friends' blocked me... you know, somelikeitscott, i think we're better off without jerks in our lives.

    • jabbo1 profile image

      jabbo1 5 years ago from Iowa

      Awesome like you Scott :-) Loved this and it made me laugh because we all know the stereotypes and we all just don't fit. As a gay woman, I totally relate to this because I do not fit that stereotype either. No butch haircut, no chain wallet, no toolbelt, in fact, I can't even change my oil LOL I live in Iowa, where my partner and I were married 2 years ago and have been together for 7 years. You are fabulous Scott, you just don't have to parade around and tell everyone! ;-)

    • blaise25 profile image

      Fehl Dungo 5 years ago from close to you...

      Very well written and expressed. I believe loving someone in the same sex is not wrong as long as you're not hurting anybody..

    • profile image

      Sooner28 5 years ago

      But you are causing all the problems. Obviously there is an inescapable link between homosexuality and world destruction :P.

      Some people seem to be so intellectually inept when it comes to certain areas that I feel like I am talking to children who are bullies.

      I have a gay brother, and the bigoted part of the right (social conservatives) really make me wonder if there are any limits to human stupidity.

      Great hub. Voted up and sharing.