I’m Sorry You Crazy Religious Straightees For Being So…Well…Normal For A Gay!
Believe me when I say that this entry is going to bother me a lot more than any of you straightee religious right wing tea partiers can ever imagine. It’s true, I’m a gay man who is frighteningly normal. It’s true and believe me, I take no gay pride in saying this, I’m sorry you crazy religious straightees for being so…well…normal for a gay! – Don’t Get Me Started!
Is it my fault that I found the one man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with 23 years ago? Is it my fault that I’ve never been in a harness or at a sex party? Oh please, don’t judge me that I spend more time with my friends’ kids helping them with their homework than telling them what to wear to prom or how to be “fabulous.” I know, I know, it’s embarrassing, right? Probably almost as embarrassing as the way you judge people based on who they’re having sex with instead of who they are as a person. But by all means, keep up the good work of glorifying the goodness of your straighteeness with shows like Pregnant At Fifteen and convincing children to have children instead of teaching them the science behind their bodies, the fact that they’re not mentally mature yet and that their self esteem is more important than being “liked” by that boy or girl who just wants to have sex with them due to the pressure of the straightee white men who control advertising in our overindulged media that tells them they should go ahead and have sex to prove they’re adults when they’re anything but and when all these executives really want to do is sell them their products.
It’s okay, I’ll continue to pay more taxes than my straightee counterparts because after all I want my cats to live in a good school district so that they can get into a good college where they’ll learn to party and get a degree in something that they’ll never be able to earn a living at when they get out because we’ve shipped all of our industries overseas. Actually if I was only paying extra taxes for our country’s kids’ education, I’d be all for it. Please, I beg of all of you, give the money to education so that perhaps when our generation has left this planet a smarter generation will be able to fix the messes we’ve made for them. We talk about leaving our kids a cleaner environment and no doubt that’s important but what about giving them clean minds to understand that most of what we’ve tried to implant into them are traces of our own parents thoughts and ideals that we’ve been unable to escape.
But back to me because according to so many of the religious right, I’m the one making God so angry. I’m causing war, disease and just about everything else from a paper cut to people starving in third world countries. How selfish of me to not at least appear on a float in a parade with a feather boa on and false eyelashes. How rude of me to be the guy who cleans up after people who leave their garbage all over the counter at Starbucks or in a parking lot. I’ve totally missed my calling of having sex with people I don’t know in alleys, wearing stiletto heels and a man purse while singing show tunes (okay, now I’ve gone too far, never met a show tune I didn’t love).
So you see, Jesus didn’t die for my sins and what you see as sin, I see as making love to the man who I chose to share my heart and bed with out of love and there can be no sin in love. I’m not ashamed of who I am or who I love. I’m just a little ashamed that I would be of no use to you religious straightee crazies on your hate ads, website and posters ‘cause I’m simply too damn normal.
And from my recent twitter post – Heaven and Earth Report – Almost a week since Obama came out supporting gay marriage, no heavens or earth swallowing us whole yet. #somelikescott