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Important Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before Saying "I Do"

Updated on July 16, 2015
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April is a mother to 3 beautiful children and a wife to a loving husband. They own and manage their own fishing charter company together!

Apple Wedding Cake
Apple Wedding Cake

Every person has their own opinion. No two individuals are going to answer all of these questions in exactly the same way, and that's what makes the world go 'round. These questions do not have right or wrong answers. Instead, they should be considered 'discussion starters' which will help you discover how well you and your significant other know each other, and can agree on important matters.

Even if you originally give opposing answers, consider how willing each of you are to compromise and find a middle ground. Is one person sacrificing more of their own feelings in order to please the other? Take note of not only what your future spouse answers, but how they answer it. Going through these questions will teach you a lot about each other.

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Disagreements

All couples will have disagreements. They wouldn't be human if they saw eye-to-eye on everything. In fact, it's important to speak up and share your opinion if you feel strongly about something. Likewise, it's equally important for you and your spouse to value each other's opinions, even if they aren't of the same accord. Some questions you and your betrothed should consider before the big day are: How do you handle disagreements? What is the best way to handle disagreements in a marriage? If we couldn't come to an agreement on something, would you ever consider divorce? If you weren't satisfied sexually, how would you communicate that to me? If I were to get more upset than you feel comfortable with, how would you handle it? What are some ways that you feel I could improve my communication with you? If we couldn't agree on some important issues, would you be willing to seek marriage counseling with me? If there were a disagreement between me and your family, how would you handle it?

Morals & Values

We all have them, but some of us have different views on them. One person may feel religion is a very important part of a person's life, while the next person could believe that religion is one of the most detrimental part of a person's life. It's very important to know that you and your future spouse are on the same page as far as morals and values are concerned, especially if you plan to have children some day: How do you feel about infidelity? Do you consider flirting or online chatting infidelity? What are your religious views on marriage? What is more important: work or family? What are your political views? What are your beliefs on birth control? Would you rather be rich and miserable or poor and happy? Who will make the biggest decisions for the household? What would you do if someone said something bad about me? Would you follow the advice of your family before me? Who should be expected to do the household chores?

Husband & Wife On Wedding Day, after saying "I Do"
Husband & Wife On Wedding Day, after saying "I Do" | Source

Finances

Financial issues are one of the leading causes for divorce. If one person is focused on saving every penny and their mate is more interested in spending it, this is plenty cause for disagreements. Every couple has different financial goals, and it's important to have a sound mind about those goals, together: Who will take care of the financial matters of the household? How do you prevent being in debt? Do you have any debt?Would you share all of your money with me or split the money into different accounts? What are your plans for saving money? What are your thoughts on spending money? What if we both want something but can't afford both? How well do you budget? Do you feel it is important to save for retirement? Would you be willing to get a second job if we had financial problems? What if a family member needed a large sum of money and we had the money to give it?

Romance & Relationship

You have heard it be said, "Don't let the flame die in your marriage," for it is true. Communication is one of the best ways to keep that from happening; know what your mate expects from you, romantically, and decide if you are willing to meet their needs before vowing to forever: Do you believe it is possible to fall out of love? Where do you see you/us in five or ten years from now? What are some ways to keep the love alive in a marriage? Do you believe it is still important to date each other after marriage? If so, how often do you think we should go on dates? What are some ways of showing my love that mean the most to you? How do you think life will change after we get married? What is the best thing about marriage? What is the worst thing about marriage? What is your biggest fear about marriage? Do you have any doubts about the future of our relationship? Is there anything you don't trust about me?

Father of the Bride gives an emotionally sweet speech

Family Matters

Family is important. Extremely important. But building a family together is also very important. It's vital to know where you and your spouse prioritize your family members, within your own marriage: How often would you want to visit with your family? How often would you be willing to visit with my family? How much control does your mom or dad still have over your life? How much do you depend on your parents? Grandparents? What if one of your family members said he or she disliked me? What if one of your family members wanted you to leave me? What if one of my family members wanted me to leave you? How would you handle holiday family visits? If your parents became ill, would you take them in? If my parents became ill, would you mind taking them in? If you disagreed with something one of my family members said or did, how would you handle it?

Expecting Baby!
Expecting Baby!

Having Children

Planning the future should not wait. Too many people make the mistake of assuming their significant other wants children just as badly as they do, or perhaps the other way around. Even if you both know that you want to have a baby, there is so much more to children than just having them. Do yourself a favor and make sure you and your spouse will be on the same page about how to raise your children: How comfortable are you around children? How many kids do you want? What values are important to teach your children? What are your thoughts on discipline? What would you do if one of your children said he or she was homosexual? What if our children didn't want to go to college? What if they would rather join the military? How involved do you plan to let your parents be with the children? Would you be willing to adopt or seek medical treatment if we couldn't have kids? Would you want someone to stay home with the kids or use daycare? How will we handle parental decisions?

Other Questions to Consider

You can never ask too many questions, and there is no such thing as a dumb one. The following are some extra topics you may want to discuss with your future mate, but don't stop there if you have more thoughts to consider. After all, this is your future you're talking about: How important is spending time alone to you? How important is spending time with friends to you? Does anyone in your family suffer from alcoholism or other addictions? What is your medical family history? Would you be opposed to mental health treatment if it was felt necessary? Are you willing to exercise with me to improve our health? Where do you want to live? Would you mind moving if I had to relocate with my job? What are your thoughts on pets? What are your plans for retirement?

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