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Improper Phone Etiquette

Updated on July 12, 2012

MAKING ANIMAL NOISES

while talking on the phone is just wrong.
while talking on the phone is just wrong.

DID YOU KNOW . . .

that in the day that we live, 2012, the "Technological Age," with access to the cell phone, Smart Phone, pay phone and Bat phone, if Batman were real, that there are still some individuals who, for some reason, do not know how to use the telephone?

This is not, now pay attention, a trick or rhetorical question. But a fact. I am ashamed to call myself an American sometimes when I hear people in public stammering, slobbering and causing more static than sense when they are connected to another person on a cell phone. It's down-right embarrassing. You'd think that these people with wide-grins and glazed-eyes, are hyenas's who have "made a kill," in the bush for the way they giggle, suck the wind in their teeth and many times resemble a mule for the vulgar way they laugh.

It's more than a social blunder, it's a social menace that needs to be curbed. I mean, to me, there is no excuse for anyone with sense enough to know how to design a plan for their expensive cell phone, should know how to use it. Right? Please do not let me be "preaching to to the choir" here.

So to help "these" individuals who think that vulgarity, sloppy manners and treating a cell phone like a toy from Hasbro, please allow me to present for "their" help and social well-being . . .

(How to Recognize) "Improper Phone Etiquette"

  • DO NOT . . .chew your food, no matter how hungry you are, or how delicious that pizza is, on the phone when talking to anyone. This tells the person on the other end just how non-caring you are about their eardrums. And eating potato or Dorito chips is the worst. Sounds like a falling tree that the beavers have cut down.

  • DO NOT . . .laugh like horse directly into the receiver unless you want your friend who is currently your friend, to think you are a brute with no upbringing. But if your friends love you for being a classless brute, go for it. The cell phone companies love you for the excessive amount of minutes you waste with each call.

  • DO NOT . . .sneeze or cough into the phone. No, I am aware that germs cannot go through the wireless network and infect your bud, it is plain ugly and disrespectful, plain and simple. Have you forgotten to turn away from the phone to rid your lungs of congestion? If so, they teach health courses each day at your local community college.

  • DO NOT . . .carry-on a conversation with the person on the phone and a person with you at the same time. And please, you are not in junior high, so please do not be a "phone liaison," and tell the person with you what the person on the phone said to them. Your teen years are history. Act like an adult.

  • DO NOT . . .try to whisper your words if in a public place such as a grocery store check-out line. By doing this, you lose track of where you are in line and cause people to get irritated who are behind you, so please talk and talk briefly to your buddy and continue the conversation when you are outside the store.

(continued below this photo).

THE FOREFINGER IN THE AIR

is the most-annoying thing you can do while on the phone. It says to your friends, "my cell time is more important than you."
is the most-annoying thing you can do while on the phone. It says to your friends, "my cell time is more important than you."

(continued from top)

  • DO NOT . . .yell into the phone. I do not care if "Sammy Dawson," has been seen making-out with your girlfriend, "Debbie Jo," the person on the other end of the phone has a right to decent-levels of talking. Your cell phone is not a bull horn. And you are not a police officer in charge of a crime scene. Just try and exercise some common-sense. And decency in using your phone.

  • DO NOT . . .hold your phone up for your friend you are talking to to able to hear "Girls, Girls, Girls, (by Motley Crue)" on a car stereo on the far-side of the TARGET parking lot. Get him or her a CD and give it to them. You look foolish holding up your phone in public. And friend, have you taken a look at yourself lately? You are not John Cusak in the hit "in-love" movie, "Say Anything."

  • DO NOT . . .go wild and snap random photos of people with your phone. Take some free advice. There might be "some" who do not like this gesture of yours and confront you. It might get ugly and the police could be called. If that happens, make sure to check your coat pockets, for the police love to make body searches at scenes of public disturbances.

  • DO NOT . . .be an idiot and toss your phone to a friend in the next aisle at the store. What if you hit an innocent shopper? Oh, you can always shrug your shoulders and say, "whatever," well, a court of law may not appreciate your non-caring attitude. Why not just walk to your buddy and hand your phone to him? Plus, if he isn't a star receiver for your high school football team, he might get "butterfingers," and oops, there goes your $400.00 cell phone.

  • DO NOT . . .act a fool and show everyone in the store the vulgar photo your girlfriend has just texted to you. Although some guys may love her posing as a jungle princess with little or no clothes on sitting on a statue of a turtle, but a lot of people may not like it, so please so some restraint. Be decent. Wait until you are on the outside of the store to jump up and down and let your girlfriend see how senseless and immature you really are when you do your "tarzan" yell and swing from the posts in front of the TARGET store.

(This has been a free, self-help, public-service hub intended to help people who still want to act like a teenager with their first phone. And to teach decency, respect and common sense in using cell phone or other communication devices. And absolutely NO ANIMALS, OR SMART PHONES WERE INJURED IN THE WRITING OF THIS HUB.)

LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY

over the phone can make you lose friends quickly.
over the phone can make you lose friends quickly.

Comments

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    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      Voted up awesome, funny and definitely sharing.

    • internpete profile image

      Peter V 4 years ago from At the Beach in Florida

      Nice! Always entertaining!

    • profile image

      Starmom41 4 years ago

      haha this is totally great!!!

    • Suzie HQ profile image

      Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Well done Ken, another fun well written article that is so entertaining!

      Great wit and humor as always my friend! Congrats, voted and shared!:)

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Cell phones (especially Smart phones) have taken over the world in public. That may be why I'm almost a recluse! I don't have the patience to listen to other people's phone conversations.

      Of course, I must admit to a bad phone habit of my own. If I'm holding a glassful of crushed ice when my home phone rings (I love crushed ice), I try to remember to place it in the freezer before answering the call. If I don't do that, the moment will come when my caller pauses for breath and hears "Crunch!"

      I know it's bad manners and is probably more noisy than chewing corn chips! After all, the sound is amplified by the phone speaker. (I always put the phone on speaker.)

      The next sound I hear will be a question: "What on earth are you eating?"

      No one ever understands why I like to munch on crushed ice.

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 4 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      This is Great!!! lol

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, lovedoctor,

      Thank you so much for your caring about this hub. I am semi-serious with these tips. I have been irritated so much in public by non-caring people, old and young alike, that I had so say something.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, internpete . . .Thanks, buddy. I appreciate you very much. Without MY GREAT FOLLOWERS, I would be in deep trouble. I wish for YOU all, a safe and happy weekend, and a safe week next week for I wont be here. I will be on vacation. But you, lovedoctor, take care of things in my absence.

      Where am I going? Kansas. Via hot air balloon. Get the Wizard of Oz reference? Just kidding. I am going to a state lodge and crash for two days.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, starmom,

      so glad that you like this hub. I appreciate YOU so much.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Greetings, Suzy HQ,

      Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment on this subject. YOU cannot fathom how much I need your input. I feed on my followers' input. It helps me create better hubs.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Dear Jaye,

      I hear you. And I love your comment on this hub. I seriously doubt with a warm heart like yours, you couldn't possibly display BAD manners. And I too, love crushed ice. The small, sleet-size ice. With apple juice on it. Oh, how refreshing.

      Take care, my dear friend.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Patty,

      And thank YOU for your sweet comment. Please come back anytime, and visit me. And why don't you become one of my followers? That way I could keep up with what you are writing. Id love that. Take care and thanks again!

      Kenneth

    • Gypsy Willow profile image

      Gypsy Willow 4 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

      Needs to be said!

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

      This was a great hub...I am so tired of people and their cell phones! I agree with all of them. Where in the world did manners go?

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

      I'm sure some of the folks I see on their cell phone have the stupid thing attached to their ear with a chain -- like when they're trying to pick up a heavy object with one hand rather than end the conversation and use two hands -- funny, funny Hub -- thanks for a great (and true) read. Best/Sis

    • profile image

      Debra Emerson 4 years ago

      I agree with you. It can happen sometimes.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Good Morning Kenneth,

      A much needed article. What gets me is the conversations people have on cell phones. They are loud and talk like they are sitting in their living room .

      "Although some guys may love her posing as a jungle princess with little or no clothes on sitting on a statue of a turtle" LMAO

      Have a good day my friend. :)

      Voted up up and away

    • fiftyish profile image

      Andy Aitch 4 years ago from UK & South East Asian Region

      Great Hub Kenneth. And a report out today, July 18, has just confirmed that texting has now taken over from calling as the favoured means of electronic communication. So now folks can't even be bothered to verbally interact with one another!

      I've actually walked out on friends on occasions when they've allowed their callers interrupt and dominate a lunch or dinner appointment. What I've said is something like "Give me a call when you have time to chat in person", and off I trot LOL

      Oddly enough, I've been perceived as the rude one for walking out, though I don't see it so. Especially as I've taken time out to meet someone who then barely gives me the time of day over their callers.

      Such individuals might have good 'Phone Etiquette' for taking the calls and interacting with the callers, but this in turn has caused poor socialisation skills in the 'real world'. So it is still the improper use of a phone when all said and done, IMHO of course ;-)

      Rant over :-)

      Andy Aitch

    • Maria-Arg profile image

      Maria-Arg 4 years ago from New York City

      Another hilarious hub! People can be so immature when using the phone. I might have to share this with some "friends" of mine ; )

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hey, Gypsy Willow,

      Thanks for your kind remark on this piece. I appreciate it very much. And I invite you to become one of my followers for this would be a neat way for us to share hub ideas and projects. I will be looking for you.

      And thanks again.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, cat gypsy . . .I agree with you. The most-irritation I can feel is when I do get to go to town and shop, only to be held-up by a person in front of me who is addicted to the text or other cell addict on the other end who think they are the ONLY people in the world and don't care about keeping others in line. This could be stopped if store managers would politely say, "are you paying or leaving?"

      Right?

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Angela,

      I never thought of that, the ear/head attachment. It kinda (too) reminds me of a rural farm scene where a humble mule is hitched to the plow breaking ground for the spring crops. Too many wires in my opinion and if people want us to know how IMPORTANT they are, just wear a sign with these words: "I Am Important. Look At Me!" Much easier to cope with.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Debra . . .thank you so much for your very-kind words. I always look forward to seeing what you have said on these hubs. I value your opinion as well.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dearest Susan,

      at 12:18 p.m., CDST, July 24- - -thank you, dear friend, for your comment and critique. I loved it. And I share your thoughts too on cell phones and their abusive users. Some are, not all. Hopefully cell phones, like CB radios of the 70's, will soon have their day and become just another forgotten fad.

      Kenneth

      PS: Need me to hail you a cab????

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Fiftyish,

      You presented a great comment on now to properly use a cell phone. I agree with you. Manners are a lost art, my friend. I wish they would make a comeback and wash over the abusers of these electronic time-savers called cell phones.

      Wonder what would happen in the near future if all electronic communication devices were suddenly shut down??? Oh, no. We would have to really talk once again. What a dilemma.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Maria,

      Thank you so much for your sweet comments. I will treasure them forever. And I wish for YOU and happy and safe day. Come back and visit anytime.

      Kenneth

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Yes Kenneth, I need you to hail me a cab. LOL You are a sweetheart my friend. :)

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

      Right, Kenneth!

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      . . ."Heyyy, taxiiii!"

      "Got you a good person to take wherever she needs to go."

      "Ohhh, wow. Your name is "Harry"? "What irony!"

      Susan, your ride awaits. And Thank YOU for the nice compliment. Made me smile and with this pain, that is tough.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Dear Catgypsy . . .so glad that YOU agree with me. At times like the one I referred to, I am sometimes tempted to just push ahead of these NON-CARING people on cell's and see if they get angry at me being like them.

      You and your "children," stay cool.

      Kenneth

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