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An Introduction to the Autosexual Male
Who is the Autosexual Male?
All across world, wives and girlfriends every where are living in affection free and sexless relationships. This epidemic is not of their choosing, but because they are involved with an Autosexual male. The Autosexual is a male (or rarely a female) is perfectly able bodied enough to have a healthy sexual relationship but chooses not to. Whether it is due to an addiction to pornography or a fear of intimacy, this Autosexual male prefers to "take matters in his own hands" at a compulsive rate. He does not seek the company of his significant other for his sexual needs. His needs are met through an autonomous system of self gratification, in private- usually with the use of pornographic material. He has no need for human contact or interaction and rejects it when it is presented.
Some men become Autosexual males in puberty. They may have mental health issues from childhood events or abuse, or personality disorders. Many become addicted to the release they experience through their compulsive "self management" of their sexual needs and curiosities. Others become enchanted with pornography at a very young age and never learn how to have a healthy sexual relationship with another human being. For these men, the reality of being with a living human being with her own thoughts and desires is off putting compared to the simplicity of "women" in pornographic images.
The Autosexual male can also develop this habit during a relationship due to have hard feelings toward his wife or girlfriend that causes him to withhold affection. In these cases, the Autosexual Male deprives his wife or girlfriend of sexual response in order to punish her for something. He begins the cycle of self gratification and chooses it for his sex life.
Sadly in the United States, only 44% of today's couples report being satisfied with their sex lives. Much less than half of the population. Of Autosexual people, 50% are in their forties, 30% are in their teens, and 10% are in their fifties. Of those who chose this life style, 80% are men. Nearly 20% of all divorces occur due to sexual problems between couples.
*Statistics from: www.marriage.com
Male Sexual Problems
- 30 million men in the United States suffer from erectile dysfunction.
- 1 in 10 males suffer from erectile dysfunction.
- 90% of married males take matters into their own hands at least once a month.
- 44% of men in sexless relationships say that they are angry with their wives and list this as the main reason they do not want to have sex with them.
- In relationships with passive aggressive males, 24 % of the females report that their partners stopped having sex with in the beginning of the relationship. 14% percent said that physical intimacy ended in the first year of marriage. 8% said that sex stopped prior to marriage, and 2% percent said that it ended on the honeymoon.
A survey by No-Porn.com revealed the following from 5750 men:
- 78% said they were addicted to pornography.
- 57% said they never told anyone about their addiction.
- 51% said they view porn daily.
**Statistics from Minnesota Men's Center at http://www.mmhc-online.com**
For the Autosexual male, the hassles of courtship and seduction just are not worth the effort. He wants instant gratification without the bother of establishing intimacy with his wife or girlfriend. Pornography does not nag, argue, expect to be taken out to fancy dinners, spend his money, cheat on him, or snap at him. It is easier and more enjoyable for a man to do it himself and get it over with.
Many Autosexual men are those with personality disorders. Men with passive aggressive disorders are unable to communicate hurt feelings effectively in relationships. These males are often agreeable on the outside but keep hurt feelings and resentment hidden deep inside where they churn over it. Instead of working on their problems, passive aggressive males will withhold every thing meaningful from his partner, including sex, as a way of punishing her. He will claim he is too tired or some other excuse, but he will never communicate his real feelings.
Other men enter relationships as healthy contributors to the relationship. They later become Autosexual males due to issues of mistrust with their mate, harsh criticism from a spouse, or from performance anxiety. Some men with erectile dysfunction may fear that they can't deliver. They withdrawal into themselves out of fear of ridicule or to "punish" their spouse for something they have done that he feels is wrong. Men who cannot trust their mates will commonly act out by withholding love and affection or may just no longer feel these things for a partner who has wronged him.
The Autosexual Male
Have You Dealt with an Autosexual Male?
Females struggling in a relationship with an Autosexual male report feelings of rejection and confusion. The woman in the relationship internalizes her mate's behavior and normally assumes that the problem is the way she looks or his perception of her. It is hard for her to comprehend how a man can choose pornographic images or solitude over a warm body.
Women who are frustrated and angry in their relationships with an Autosexual male need to step back from their feelings and assess what is really going on in the situation and communicate effectively. She should not automatically take the man's lack of response personally until she can arrive at the underlying cause of her mate's behavior.
How to Cope with an Autosexual Male
For couples who cannot talk through their problems, counseling is highly recommended. In order for this to work, both parties must be open willing participants. If the Autosexual male refuses to participate or admit that he has a problem, counseling will not be effective. The female in the relationship must also own her own contributions to the problem.
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