In Search of the Elusive Mussy Puscle
The Elusive Mussy Puscle
In Search of MussyPuscles
© 2009 By Del Banks
There are very few of us on this planet that have never come in contact at one time or another with Mussy Puscles. For the majority of the world’s population, direct contact with Mussy Puscles is a requirement for starting out in life.
Historically, Mussy Puscles (pronounced “moo-see pus-uhls”) have been around since the dawn of time, when the first creatures, male and female, walked on the face of the earth. Though very primitive at first, they were still in high demand by roughly 50% of the world’s population of both man and animal.
As life evolved, so did the Mussy Puscle.
Throughout history, the Mussy Puscle has been a very lucrative commodity in big business. It has been the role model for all products, goods and services and has become an indispensible article of trade. The Mussy Puscle is a source of comfort, yet it has been the reasons for many acts of violence. Wars have started over Mussy Puscles.
Mussy Puscles are found just about everywhere in a variety of sizes, shapes and colors. They ripen in anywhere from 13 to 16 years, and can be harvested at this time, but laws vary from state to state as to their collection and possession, even if the owner has willfully let you have some. Penalties can be severe depending on where you were collecting. Check your local ordinances before attempting to pick one. In most places, once the Mussy Puscles have ripened for 18 years, they are free for the taking if the owner is willing to give it up to you.
The perfectly ripe Mussy Puscle, once opened, has a clean, fresh smell. The pink inner folds of the fleshy fruit have a smooth and moist texture, and are pleasantly warm and aromatic. Some varieties have a fuzzy covering while others have no fuzz at all. Ripe and ready to pick Mussy Puscles are slightly open and moisture is evident around the edges of the opening. Beware of Mussy Puscles with a strong fishy odor or those that are not pink in the middle.
To properly consume a fresh Mussy Puscle, one must savor its decadent scent and sweet taste. By placing your nose in the opening, you should inhale deeply to allow its heady aroma to permeate your olfactory before gently licking at the fleshy middle with your tongue. You should start eating it at the stem, located at the top of the opening and slowly work your way in. This should be done slowly to allow the Mussy Puscle to open up further, allowing the use of your fingers and other tools to adequately consume the deeper folds of the fleshy goodness.
Once the Mussy Puscle has been completely consumed, and it is of no further use to you, just walk away and leave it where you found it. Mussy Puscles are self regenerative and can be easily cleaned and cared for by their owners. Once it is cleaned and regenerated, it can be consumed again and again, until you are just sick and tired of the same old Mussy Puscle.
Then you just go look for another one.