- Gender and Relationships»
Feed The Fire of Sexual Intimacy With Your Spouse
Sexual life in Marriage
Sexual problems are at the root of most divorce cases. It is either the man can’t satisfy his wife or the woman has lost interest in sexual intercourse. This has created real anguish and pains in marriage. Sadly, while some of the affected partners are willing to work on the problem, the others feel less concerned. And this may not augur well for the marriage.
Ten years ago, Alexander married Mabel. They were a happy duo enjoying all the blessings of marriage, including a good sex life. Alexander was especially proud of Mabel’s ability to satisfy him all the time.
Together they sired two children. While his friends complained about their wives’ low libido, he would just smile to himself. He didn’t need to tell these friends of his sexual compatibility with his wife since he married her. She slept in his arms every night. She was just right for him. In fact they were right for each other; neither had any reason to cheat on the other. That was until two years ago when Alexander started having issues with his own libido. His wife became more sexually passionate than he was.
Alexander could no longer hold on to the pleasure that had excited his union with Mabel for close to a decade. Age was no longer on his side. But his wife was as strong as ever, and very unrelenting. Alexander would struggle to satisfy his wife to no avail. Finally, she realized that he could not sustain it, therefore she sought for divorce.
“My husband is sweet and nice. He works hard and provide adequately for the family, which I do appreciate. In a lot of other things, he is awesome, but his sex drive is gone, and I can’t cope with it. I cannot cheat, so I want divorce, so I can search for someone more sexually compatible with me,” Mabel told the court.
Unfortunately, some husbands don’t even try to excite or satisfy their wives. The impression is that a good wife should not enjoy sex. And some women don’t want to have sex. They get into bed with the mindset, “If you must have it, then do it to me and let’s be done with it.” She has no interest in satisfying her husband’s need either. But 1 Corinthians 7:3 says, “Let husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”
God does not want fornication that is why 1 Corinthians 7:2 says “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” But let’s teach our children and all young people to obey God and don’t engage in sex before marriage. Sex outside marriage is sinful.
Many people have sexual problems because of growing up in a very conservative and religious environment where parents ignorance contributes greatly to this problem. But God wants a husband and his wife to find great pleasure in sex. 1 Corinthians 7:4 says, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Your body doesn’t just belong to you; it belongs to your spouse also.
You’re going to have to meet together because if you don’t care for him/her, someone else just might. If you don’t listen, someday, you may come in and find another man/woman in bed with your spouse. The fact that your spouse’s sexual appetite is not being satisfied in no way justifies this action, but because he/she was not getting his/her sexual needs met, has made him/her more vulnerable, or more susceptible, to temptation.
Often the partner feeling unsatisfied with the situation may tend to look for a way out of the relationship instead of seeking solution to the problem. 1 Corinthians 7:5 says, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
In another case, the man complained that his wife doesn’t want him to touch her. “My wife is cold and frigid. She won’t have anything to do with me.”
When his wife was asked what the problem was, she said, “We have two children, and I had delayed labor in both that put my life in danger. I don’t want any more children. And he doesn’t want to use any preventative measures. If I’m not going to get pregnant, I’ll go to bed with him every night.” No one can blame the woman. Suitable birth control method should have been adopted, in order to protect the woman’s life.
Most time the men are selfish. They are only interested in themselves and their own satisfaction. They are not interested in their wives’. This is why one woman said, “He only wants to satisfy himself, he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t care how I feel.”
The biological reality is that men need sex at a greater frequency than women do. At the early stage of the relationship, women meet the demands of their partner before getting married. But once married, some of the women find reasons not to have sex with their husbands. Unfortunately, a man’s sex drive doesn’t just go away just because he is married. So when his wife fails to satisfy him, he may be tempted to cheat.
Sometimes, one of you needs sex more often than the other. Discuss it and arrive at a compromise. If you don’t know about some of these things, you can get a good Christian book on the subject of sex and work on it. It won’t just happen. Some people think that it will just come naturally. No, you’ve got to work on it. A good sex life is a healthy life for married couple. God intended for it to be that way. It will pay off for you physically, mentally, and mentally. Sex in marriage is good, clean and acceptable. Paul said in Hebrew 13:3 that, “Marriage is honorable, and the marriage bed is undefiled.” You need to let the other person know that you love and appreciate him/her. Keep the communication line open at all times. If you love each other, you can change the situation and your life will become truly wonderful. Your partner will feel on top of the world when you show him/her excitement and love when you are together. Some of the problems can be corrected medically.