In love with my boyfriends bestfriend
My boyfriend's best friend and I started becoming very close. He became my best friend then it turned to something more. We were together non stop everyday and I could never get him off my mind. I started to have mad feelings for him and loved him. I told him how I felt and he just said I don't know what to say except I don't feel the same. Then Friday night we were hanging out and stuff started becoming more intense we laid there and cuddled, kissing, and doing stuff. I stopped it said it couldn't go any further then it was. Then that Saturday night we hung out again and ended up having sex. After that night everything is so awkward between us. All I want is my best friend back. I understand that he doesn't like me the way I love him but I don't want him out of my love completley.
I have tried to get over him, I've tried to cut off all contact but I can't ever bring myself to do so and when I finally get to that point of letting him go he just pops up in my life. He is at my apartment everyday to see my boyfriend and he makes small talk with me but it's not like how it used to be. I wish that I could just let him go but it's so hard to. I have fallen into a deep depression over this and I don't know how to get out of it. I just want everything back to like it was before me and my boyfriends best friend slept together but I feel like it's to late. I feel like i'm already to deep in my feelings to let him go. I just want to cut out all contact but I'm not sure how I can do that with out my boyfriend finding out I slept with his best friend.