Journey of The Indian Bride decoded
The Indian Bride : In the making
In India being a Bride is a dream that is woven with utmost detailing in the minds of not only the girl but the entire family. All that is seen in the "Big Fat Indian Wedding" -as we call it, is just the most superficial part. The truth and the reality is far more than can be seen on the surface.
The day a daughter is born Indian parents start keeping aside a handsome amount to make sure every aspect of her Big day is taken care of at its best. From childhood she is taught keeping in mind that she will be a reflection of the family values to the outside world at large.The mothers , the granny, the aunts, the elder sisters, the elder brothers wife, the close family friends, the teachers and last but not the least the neighbors form a part of the group which bears the unstated responsibility of grooming the girl.
Groom Hunt and finalization !!
The look-out for the perfect match begins from the day when usually in a family wedding or elsewhere the relatives and acquaintances start pointing to the girl's parents saying "oh your daughter has attained marriageable age, have you started the search ? " or at times would pop-out with enthusiasm saying " i know some one whose son is a perfect match for your daughter". and hereafter begin the wedding ripples in the girl's family.
In no time these ripples set a wave of change in motion and the entire family is on the groom hunt cycle. Loads of photos of prospective grooms start flowing in from various sources and the daily meal sessions of the family become all about the best possible match for the apple of their eye.
Then Finally comes the day when all that is bound to happen falls in place. The essences in the finalization process are:
The Educational backgrounds match
The Family Status match
The Horoscopes match
The kids meet and agree to tie the knot
The families rejoice and the pandits are called for to get the Muhurat for the functions
The Bridal Heena
The steps to the Doli
The dates finalization mark the first step of the girl to the Bride to be phase and the lifetime adventure begins.
The girl starts dreaming of the perfect fairy tale life after the wedding meanwhile, totally unaware of what is going to unfold after the goodies part. The Does and dont's list and what is expected of her in the life post marriage seems to multiply each day. As the day approaches she is caught in a web of dream and apprehensions.
And finally its the day that she is going to be everything to the new family and if time permits she can have some moments as her own. She is now expected to be transformed to a totally new person starting the moment she steps in the grooms house. She is a bahu, a bhabhi, mami, chachi, etc and perfection is expected of her in each of the above from the start. The way people in the new family treat her changes overnite.
The New Life Begins!!
Then comes the Expectation List
Here she is into the new life, eyes filled with hope and a heart filled with Love but, a mind filled with Apprehension. All that was once a part of her existence is now past , yes, all over the 7 holy rounds "The Pheras" the world where she was a princess is by-gone. Now the new reality "The Bahu" is all over her.
The expectations rounds start now:
Look Beautiful and parlor ready all the time: you are the model on display for the first year post wedding :)
Wake up before everyone else does ....
Cook like a chef
Be a perfect homemaker
You have to do everything right on the first go, as you have no room for mistakes
Beware of what you say and to whom for, everything you say can and will be used against you
The son is expected to be the son and the day he tries to be a husband he is a bad son :)
Think of everyone else before you
You are the last priority and everyone else is your first priority
I am sure many of us out there can relate to at least some of the things mentioned above.
The plight continues yet she loves it all
Yes the endless list of demands and expectations continues for like forever. But, still she loves that part of her life and tries to match up to the expectations as far as possible. She still raises her daughter with a dream to be "The next Indian Bride"
Wedding Reality check!
Can you relate to the dilemma of the Indian Bride?
The journey continues!!
Please share your view!!
Please feel free to share your wedding experiences in the comments below and also help me understand what else would you like to be covered in the upcoming articles on the wedding and relationships article series.