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Do Online Flings = Infidelity?

Updated on October 22, 2012

Have you ever had an online fling?

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Secrets Women Keep

It is a mysterious thing, women were put on this earth, according to some, to serve the whims of the male species. It has long been accepted that a woman will find one man, settle down and then allow her heart to slowly die. This is no feminist piece and it may stir some emotions, especially in folks that have a need to apply their own personal moral compass to everyone else. I however have my own ideas on how a woman operates over a lifetime and want women who read this piece to know that they are not alone. Especially if they are in a place where the daily demands of life and family have clamped down on their soul their heart, their inner desires. I am here to examine the taboo of the fling! Or perhaps the affair or wondering eye? Call it what you like. Say you have been plugging along in life in a sort of tunnel vision of work, dinner, TV, Soccer on Saturday rinse and repeat. One day, seemingly out of the blue you reconnect with an old male friend on faceboook, or run into a neighbor at the corner store, have a long conversation with the dude at the bank which turns into a texting dialogue that lasts a month! Now your in this "thing" and you notice your heart is beginning to stir a little from its sleepy slumber! Oh girl what to do what to do? Well I am not here to tell you what to do. As far as I am concerned life is too short to feel too bad for the things we do. Just remember that your life as you know it may never be the same again, depending on how you choose to proceed!

The emotional attachment women have the capacity to form over social media outlets have not been studied extensively but I am here to tell you Facebook is making women all over the country giddy with the excitement of finding lost loves, reconnecting with an old spark or just chatting with strangers. Cybersex used to be some way off bad thing shady people did on Yahoo chat. These days 70 year old women are getting their rocks off with men they haven't seen in 42 years!

Does this count as a "REAL" relationship? If it does should you take it to the next step and meet in person? What happens if you do that? What if you are GASP Married? Is there a way to put on the brakes? Do you even want to put on the brakes? Men all over the internet are pouring there masculine little hearts out to women and we are responding to it! The daily drudgery of life and career may lead to little attention from your spouse. When another man tells you that you are beautiful, it may hit a chord deep inside. The generosity of kind words and compliments draw women in like bees to honey! Is this wrong? What is wrong anyway? Is this cheating? Is having an emotional connection with someone outside of your relationship a serious no no? I really want to open the lines of discussion about this and hear your thoughts on the subject!

With all the latest and greatest forms of media coming through the pipes it is possible to have infinite relationships with others! Will this end monogomy? For any women going through this right now, this blog is a place of non judgement (at least from me!) So let me know what you are thinking!


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 years ago

      Everyone has their own definition of cheating. Some people think anything short of sexual intercourse is NOT cheating. There are others that consider having "secret friends", flirting, and using sexual innuendo with others to be a form of cheating. I suppose one has to ask themselves; Would it bother me if I learned (my spouse or significant other) had a "fling" online? I suspect over 90% of people would say, Hell yes!

      Overall most people don't want their mates to have (secret) relationships. They want their significant others to save their flirting/sexual innuendo for them. None the less I have observed even people who are happy in their relationship will flirt from time to time or take pride in their ability to "attract" others. Maybe it's the ego that requires (assurance) that if their relationship failed they'd have no problem finding another mate.

      Although flirting, sexual innuendo, or cyber sex may not lead to physical contact it does stir up emotions/feelings and divides their "mind share" between one's mate and their "secret friend". Just about every relationship/marriage begins with flirting. I heard one person say if you are saying or doing something you would not do with your mate sitting right next to you then you (know) on some level that you are "cheating" or at the very least being "inappropriate" or disrespecting your relationship.