- Gender and Relationships»
- Dating & Online Dating
Something inspiring to me happened the other day. The aunt of the man whom I had liked, for so long, wrote to me, answering to a message that I had written to her, ages ago, when Rider and I had had our terrible fall out. She entreated that I should continue to try and speak to him, and gave me the gentle reminder that closing doors accomplishes nothing- she told me not to let my peers intimidate me in this election, and that I had a right to state my own beliefs.
She told me that he had been demanding that anyone who voted for Trump unfriend him on Facebook. She said that she was one of the few that stuck around, though, and that, she believed shutting other people out accomplishes nothing. She entreated that I keep trying, with him. I told her candidly that I had no reason to reopen contact with him, but made it clear that I bore him no ill feelings, and that, if it ever came up between them, she could tell him so. I also added- with extremely ill taste, I see now, in retrospect- that I had no reason to talk with a man who had constantly told me I was an idiot over things like praying, politics, sex, and eating. I still told her that I was happy to be her friend, though, and that she should feel free to reach out, if she ever wanted anyone to talk to, thereby making my statement about goodwill completely, well- false.
After I thought about the message, and had a bit of time to reflect upon the words I used, I was ashamed. For, what reason had I to add salt to the wound of this woman? She loved her nephew, and I ought to have respected that. What had caused me to, maliciously, and for no specific reason, give pain to the poor woman who was trying desperately to love him, in spite of the fact that he was consistently trying to block her out? Something which must have been already causing her pain? She had made it clear to me that she understood his shortcomings . . . was I really so small that I felt like rubbing it in would make me bigger?
I wrote a second message to her, therefore, apologizing for anything which I said that may have given her offense. I told her that I thought she was right, and that people should be working very hard to keep doors open, and that it was completely backwards, and unproductive for us to close them, and that those who did were confused. I said that I thought it was essential for us to keep the doors open, and not close them. I said miracles happened every day, and that all you had to do to find proof of them was to glance at the people across from you and watch-them handshake. I told her that I was working on creating my own miracles every day.
This was one of the most inspiring experiences of my life. It was living proof to me, in a sense, that you really can put love and peace at the center of all of your relationships. You can use these traits as a stepping stone, to build bridges over any external conflicts. It was a lesson that I had long ago forgotten, actually, and this served as a vivid, blinding white reminder to who I was. It was as though I had lost hope, so badly, over the past few years, and this one ray of light that was tossed in my direction, giving me a chance to, at last, look up-
I am really happy that I was able to experience this person. It was a bridge for me between past and the present. It served as a reminder to me of a few of the things that I had ceased to remember, for awhile, and gave me back some of the inspiration that I had lost, my well having run dry, for quite a long time, by then. My belief in myself, and in those around me, had all but abandoned me, as life and the people around me had suppressed them into their proper place. I finally had something to hold to.
I had learned to build bridges, again. This was yet another example to me that miracles happen every single day. We are enables of our own situation, and we create our own miracles, thus- just to make that clear. When one bridge falls, we have the ability to build another, if we keep our eyes open, and seek opportunities as they come-
It is very important to never allow your personal beliefs to cloud your vision. If we place love and respect at the center of our relationships, contrary to the popular view, it IS possible to walk over our own differences. The external belief does not need to interfere with those relationships. Knowing that man was one of the most terrible experiences in my entire life, or at least it had been, in my frame of mindset at that time. I had sunk so low, that I did not think it was possible for a bridge to be built back, in place of the one that had burnt, but I was proven wrong.
No matter how wide the gap, or the extent of the loss, there is always another opportunity. Always is a pretty strong word, and the dove of inspiration and hope has flown back into my chest, renewing my faith in love, respect, and creativity. When you see straight, and do not allow yourself to become waylaid, you can walk over rubble beneath you.
And that is exactly what I’m planning.