ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Intimacy Revisited - The Difference Between the Act of Sex and Making Love

Updated on September 29, 2009

Decoding the Difference in the Bedroom

 After a wonderful night with a close friend for whom I have loved for over a decade... I am left to ponder the difference between the act of having sex and the act of making love.  Is there a difference?

MY STORY - MY FIRST TIME MAKING LOVE

I shared a beautiful reunion with a man for whom I have admittedly fallen in love with over the course of the past year.  We dated 10 years prior... but our time had come to an end when our academics took us in very different directions in life.  About 3 years ago we rekindled our friendship and found each other conversing cross-country via email for this time.  Finding out about each other and building a solid foundation out of the past that we had shared together so many years prior.

After meeting each other again in person about 9 months ago I realized that I had fallen in love with him.  All of those emotions had resurfaced and I disclosed how I had felt to my friend.  At the time I was separated, he had a girlfriend and he lived across the country ... and he admitted he was flattered by my affection but was unable to reciprocate given the circumstances. He did admit that he "liked" me... and if things were different... who knows?  I was heartbroken.  Crushed. 

I tried to bury these emotions for 2 more months and act like nothing had been said... but once you cross that emotional boundary with someone it was just too hard to proceed knowing that the friendship was surface-valued.  So I ended our friendship for no other reason than I wanted him to find love... if not with me than the person he was seeing.  If he was happy... truly happy... then I knew it was our fate never to be together.  I cut off all communication and wished him much happiness and fulfillment.  I was devestated... but it was the right thing to do.

2 months after we concluded our friendship... I received an email from my friend stating that he had broken up with his girlfriend, was moving to a city near mine and that this was something that he had only told myself and his family of.  I was overjoyed and elated by his life changes...and had come to terms with my love and affection and proceeded to encourage our friendship only on a platonic level.

Upon his move travels he sent me a postcard stating that he would be home soon and that we would see each other shortly thereafter.  Confused, but also excited I tried to bury those emotions deeper not wanting to get hurt again.  So upon arrival in his new home... he made plans with me to meet up.  At first I was thinking it was a platonic "friendship" thing... and I made plans with only this in mind.  A light date out to a ballpark.  When plans were formalized ... he also offered to cook me dinner that night.  Again, a grand gesture that blurred the lines between the platonic and romantic interest.  I was confused by his intentions and accepted graciously.

After spending the day together as friends... we went back to his home where he cooked me dinner.  We listened to music, we reminesced about old times and really learned a lot about each other and cultivated a mutual connection.  It started to rain outside... and he was planning to take me out to go dancing... so we stayed in and talked more... eventually kissing me... after he stroked my hair and held my hand.  It was a beautiful kiss.

Soon after we found our way into the bedroom... and had sex all night.  Falling asleep in each other's arms... having fervous passion between the sheets... never letting go of my hand the entire time.  When we fell asleep I would pull away... find myself on the edge of the bed... overwhelmed with emotion of knowing that he felt something for me... and I didn't want to get hurt.  He would find me under the covers and pull me into him... holding me before releasing me again to enjoy our bodies once more.  I lost count how many times we had sex that night.

In the morning... I woke up... startled... overcome with the emotion of loving someone... and fearing that he might not feel the same... that this was just a physical friend-with-benefits sorta thing.  He awoke startled to see me dressing frantically... asking me where I was going... as I kissed him on the head and told him that it was fun and that I should leave.  Tears streaming down my cheeks.  He begged me to stay... and pulled me under the covers where he held me in his arms... holding me for 2 hours.  He rubbed my back... and held my hand... without saying a word while I cried on his chest.  I finally gave into the fear... and looked into his eyes... pleading for something...to let me know that he wouldn't hurt me... that he felt something beyond the physical.  He leaned in and kissed me... so passionately.

He proceeded to tell me "slowly" while he looked into my eyes... touching my face tenderly... and stroking my hair while we had sex slowly.  It was very emotional for me... and he just kept staring into my eyes... only closing them to kiss me... passionately and delicately.  We climaxed together hand in hand... lips to lips.  And he stayed inside me... for at least fifteen minutes.  Laying on me... not saying anything.  Just holding me tightly.  He looked up only once and I could see that he was overcome with emotion.  We had reached a level of intimacy... that neither of us had ever shared with anyone before.

DECODING THE DIFFERENCE

So to me... I would say that making love to someone starts long before the physical act commences.  It is a build-up of emotion that overcomes the two partners... a shared understanding of trust and unity that abounds during such an intimate sexual embrace.

While sex is the intimate act only... a physical connection... albeit it satisfying and fulfilling... making love is unequivocally a different plateau with the purpose being a shared emotional experience between the parties involved.  It's about your bodies feeding off of that emotional energy... displaying it... demonstrating it... and exchanging that energy of love.

 

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      lin 

      6 years ago

      I like her sharing. Sounds similar to mine

    • profile image

      howard james 

      7 years ago

      I would like to think this was true, but there sounds like some under underlying facts are surely missing or not known when this was written. Well, I wish them all the luck in the world for an everlasting love, but only time will tell. It sounds to me that this guy is a cheat while the first time with her, then was cheating with his girl friend when they were communicating and wanted a stand by lover if he ever broke up with his girl friend. And his plan seemed to of worked quite too fast. But he skinned like a don juan lover that will always have a back up woman to keep his sex drive alive. Wonder if they are still togther and if he has another woman on standby!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)