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Is My Husband Spying on Me? How to Tell and What to Do

Updated on September 11, 2020
Briar Lewis profile image

I enjoy exploring the unknown and the boundaries of love and life.

Is Your Husband Spying on You?
Is Your Husband Spying on You? | Source

How to Tell If Your Husband is Spying on You

Is your husband spying on you? Do you suspect that he is watching you when you go to the market, go to work out, and so on and so forth? Are you simply paranoid or are you accurate about your suspicions? Your privacy is your privacy, so discover what is motivating them to spy on you and how to confront them.

Why Is My Husband Spying on Me?

  • He thinks you’re cheating on him.
  • You have trust issues.
  • He is having an affair.
  • He is controlling or abusive.
  • He has trust issues.
  • He’s worried about you.
  • You keep secrets

How to Know If You’re Being Spied On

If your husband, boyfriend, or significant other often asks what you are doing or wants to know who is calling you or texting you and when, they obviously are experiencing trust issues. If they are starting to be more obsessive than they have been in the past, then something obviously has changed.

Sometimes, if your boyfriend, fiancé, husband, or significant other is having an affair or doing something behind your back, they will accuse you of just the same because their paranoia starts to set in. If you are totally innocent and being wrongfully accused, consider pointing the finger back at them. They may just be the ones who have something to hide.

1. He might have access to your accounts.

They might have access to your accounts. If you use “keychain” on your Mac or have saved passwords on your accounts or even use commonly shared words or dates for passwords, your husband may have figured them out. If this is the case, the smartest thing to do is to lock your computer and your phone and set it to disengage and log out after only a few minutes of use - just enough time for you to wander off and do something around the house with the safety of knowing that your things are untouched.

2. He may be checking your phone records.

They may be checking your phone records. Your significant other – if they pay for the phone bill - may be in contact with the phone service provider and be requesting special information to view the numbers you’ve contacted or the numbers you’ve dialed or texted. Be wary of accepting certain services, downloading certain apps, or changing settings on your phone that you haven’t initiated. Your significant other may have figured out a way to track you through a family plan or similar.

Be in the know and understand that certain software can be installed onto your devices to track what you are doing. Tip: You can always take your phone into a company that specializes in recognizing software (downloading and/or removing) like Best Buy (Geek Squad) or a local shop - have them scan your device for suspicious programs or apps

Learn the signs that you are being watched.
Learn the signs that you are being watched. | Source

3. They may have put a GPS device on your car.

GPS devices are cheap to acquire and easy to plant on a car. It is also easy to hire someone to follow an individual around (like a private detective) or for someone to do the following themselves. Do you think your significant other may be following you or having you followed? Maybe, when you’re busy rushing off during rush hour or heading to the gym to go work out, they are leaving just seconds after you (but you are too busy to notice) and parking a ways off and watching your behavior.

GPS devices can be found in the glove box, under car seats, or even attached under the wheel well. You can have your mechanic give your car the once-over even just to see if they notice anything suspicious.Yeah, this is definitely considered stalking, and if you suspect that your relationship has gotten to this point or you feel unsafe, consider finding help or looking for resources that support individuals who are with abusive or controlling significant others.

4. They constantly accuse you of cheating.

They constantly accuse you of cheating. If your significant other is constantly accusing you of cheating or being unfaithful, it’s possible that they are up to no good. They may be coming home late from work - not returning when they say they will. You may confront them about it and they get defensive, angry, or make excuses, and things just don’t seem to line up. They may actually be in the wrong and hiding something from you.You may also feel like the chemistry between you simply isn’t the same. Maybe they won’t let you on their phone or computer or hide their devices or take them with them into the bathroom or out when they leave the house.

Also, if intimacy levels have declined too or they seem disengaged, this is another thing to worry about.If you feel like your relationship has suffered significantly or you no longer feel connected to your significant other, consider counseling or speaking directly to your partner. Life events can be stressful and get in the way of intimacy and connection, but sometimes there is more going on. It’s important to try to repair what’s going wrong but it is also important to be real and get to the bottom of things. It’s no use being in a relationship if you are both unhappy.

Find out what to do if you've confirmed that your husband or boyfriend is spying on you.
Find out what to do if you've confirmed that your husband or boyfriend is spying on you. | Source

What to Do If You Think You’re Being Spied on

If you think you are being spied on, gather all data and evidence before you confront your significant other because it will be easy for them to deny things and they likely will. You might want to consider the repercussions of confronting them. If you are in an abusive relationship or ever feel unsafe, you will need resources and you are best leaving the relationship before confronting them about their bad behavior. Leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time, so consider reaching out to a center, look for resources, or have a friend with you so that you can feel safe.

If you think your spouse is spying on you but things have generally been okay, consider confronting them at an ideal time. This should be in a moment when you have privacy and a chance to talk to each other on a real basis. Maybe they will tell you something fairly innocent, like they felt that you were emotionally removed lately and they started to worry. If you’ve been together for 20 years or committed for a long time, it may just take refreshing the relationship to save it.

© 2020 Briar Lewis


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      7 days ago from Chicago

      "You might want to consider the repercussions of confronting them."

      That's the best advice!

      Too often people have a "knee jerk reaction" and immediately confront their mate/spouse without having figured out a strategy for dealing with all the potential outcome scenarios.

      'While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions." - Stephen R. Covey

      Whether you think someone is spying on you, cheating on you, or is involved in any secret behavior they know you don't approve of you have to have made a decision about what you're going to do.

      As one old adage goes: "People who fail to plan, plan to fail."

      I always tell people unless (you) have a history of being paranoid, insecure, jealous, or obsessive it's probably a good ideal to (assume you're right) about what you suspect is going on.

      If something doesn't feel right to you it's probably not right for you.

      The biggest regrets most people have is ignoring "red flags" or not trusting their gut instincts. Assume you're right. Now what?

      If you can't answer that question you're not ready to confront anyone. You need to know what (you) are going to do about it!


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