ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Is Peaceful Partnership Possible? Creating Parenting Visitation Schedules That Work

Updated on March 18, 2012

Among the many difficult tasks to do during your divorce, determining custody is what most parents dread. The idea of your children not living with you for some or most of the time can be painful to think about. Child custody is often viewed as a battle, with the children stuck in the middle.

However, there are many benefits to focusing on what is best for the children after your divorce. If you and the other parent can approach custody, visitations and co-parenting schedules with a positive attitude, the battle can become a partnership. The negotiation process results in both of you creating a parenting plan and working out co-parenting schedules, for your children’s sake.


Push aside negative feelings about the other parent that lead to conflict so you can create a co-parenting calendar that works for all of you.
Push aside negative feelings about the other parent that lead to conflict so you can create a co-parenting calendar that works for all of you.

Prioritize Your Parenting Agreements

Your parenting plan is a document that outlines the rights and responsibilities you and the other parent agree to in raising your children. It usually covers everything from decision-making to discipline. Your parenting plan should also include a parenting visitation schedule. This is a calendar that outlines where your children will be on any given day.

There is no single ideal calendar that fits every family. Instead, you must work together to customize a schedule that supports your family’s unique ages and stages. There are a wide range of schedules, from alternating weeks to weekday/weekend visits. All that matters is whether the arrangement works for your family and that it promotes healthy physical and emotional development in your children.

The family court wants to see parents working together to create the best possible schedule for their children. You and the other parent are experts on what your children need and can make the best of a stressful separation by working together to make a parenting visitation schedule that is stable, fair and flexible. Rather than using the negotiation process as a way to get back at the other parent, focus on the children and what they need.

One of the most valuable tools that you and the other parent can use to forge a cooperative working relationship is a co-parenting calendar.
One of the most valuable tools that you and the other parent can use to forge a cooperative working relationship is a co-parenting calendar.

Put Children First

Children need a reliable schedule to feel secure and stable. Without a reliable schedule and some idea about what each day will bring, children can become anxious and stressed.

Even if you and the other parent agree to a great parenting schedule, your children will still experience huge changes and it will take some time to get used to their new lives. You can experiment with a few visitation arrangements to see which ones they seem to like best.

Different schedules may work for different ages as well. Younger children thrive best when they feel they have a permanent place that they leave and return to. Older children are more flexible and can handle longer, more frequent visitations. Siblings may wish to make visitations together, while others might desire some one-on-one time with each parent. Analyze what each child needs and structure the parenting visitation schedule accordingly.

Cooperative Partnership

Above all, the relationship between you and the other parent is the most important factor in making sure the parenting visitation schedule actually works. Do everything you can to develop a cooperative partnership with the other parent, leaving conflict and negativity behind.

Your relationship as a couple may be at an end, but your partnership as the parents of your children is for life. Put your love for your children above any other emotions and create the best post-divorce schedule you can.

A co-parenting calendar can help ease transfers between homes and provides structure for you and the other parent to be positive examples on how to get along.
A co-parenting calendar can help ease transfers between homes and provides structure for you and the other parent to be positive examples on how to get along.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)