Is blending a family ever going to get easier
Will it ever get any easier??
I started dating Jeromy when my kids were 3, 5, and 6. He had no job at the time and took care of his nephew during the day as well as his cousins kids. I knew him already for about 10 years so I wasn't worried about him as far as being around my kids. They were introduced to him early on in our relationship and everyone got along great. For quite awhile he knew I was the parent and he took a backseat which is what I expected considering we hadn't been together that long. Eventually changes came and he moved in since we lived an hour away from each other. Kids liked having him around and he made things easier for me. After some time I noticed that he was trying to get the kids to listen to him which I agreed with since he lived there now but sometimes it's hard to let someone else take control. I started to find it easier after awhile but then came the point where he would tell them to do something that I won't allow them to do yet or tell them not to do something when I always allowed it. He grew up in a household where he was expected to be in his room playing when he was at home. I didn't grow up like that. I was allowed to watch t.v in the living room or be at the table drawing pictures and playing games. He tried to instill this on my kids and I wasn't having it. We started to disagree over stuff like this. He would sometimes try to send them to bed early for no good reason or not let them have a snack and this stuff really started to irritate me. We fought about it a lot but decided we wanted to be together so we would work it out. He eventually proposed after a few years and even asked the kids for permission. On and off these issues were still coming up but we always ended the argument the same way. Unfortunately this also made the kids not sure who to listen to. That caused even more problems because he felt disrespected. I felt that he was unfair to the kids and that I had to stand up for them. Things have gotten a little better and fights are not happening often but I don't think he's really happy about it. We have more fun together now though and I don't want things to change for the worse again. Now that our wedding is getting closer i'm worried about how things will be after were married. I'm so worried that things will get bad again after the wedding because he figures were married now and he can get away with it. Does it ever get any easier or is it always so hard to blend a family? Will we ever get on the same page as to how to raise my kids?These are questions I think about everyday. Only time will tell I guess.