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Is it Love or Infatuation?

Updated on June 24, 2013
My wonderful husband and I when we were dating.
My wonderful husband and I when we were dating. | Source

Love at First Sight or Lust at First Sight?

Upon first meeting, either you are quite smitten by what you see, or not interested at all since appearance is the only thing to base the attraction on. This is obviously a physical attraction since the two of you have never met before. This is completely normal and common.

Each of us has certain standards that we require when looking for a mate. Although you may be physically attracted to someone, you may also require him or her to have a great sense of humor. Maybe you prefer someone who was raised with the same morals and values you were raised with. It is possible that some of you require your mate to make a certain amount of money each year. In any case, these qualities are not indicative of love, but of preference.

According to Webster’s Dictionary, to infatuate is, “to cause to be foolish: deprive of sound judgment.” When we base our decisions on pure emotion alone, we tend to infatuate. Therefore, it is wise to wait, get to know the person, and think about beginning a friendship first.


Why Wait 2 Years to Marry?

Everyone tries their best to make a good impression on someone they are attracted to. A man will often do his best to court a woman by trying to impress her with his masculinity, protective nature, and whatever qualities he thinks she desires in a man. A woman will often do her best to remain physically attractive to the man she is interested in. She will be feminine, polite, and take excellent care of herself in order to keep him interested in her.

Much will also depend on the ages and personalities of the couple. For instance, an older person usually shows his and her true self earlier in the relationship because he or she has had more experience with love, dating, and the like. Those in their late thirties or older tend to know more about what characteristics they prefer in a mate. They have almost always been through other relationships, and have decided what are acceptable characteristics and behavior.

Upon meeting the one you are attracted to, it is recommended by professionals to wait at least 2 years from that date to marry. It takes about that long to let your guard down, settle into the relationship, and discover each other’s faults, strengths, and weaknesses. The “honeymoon phase” is officially over by then. This is when you learn to love, be in love, and accept your partner for who they really are. By this point there are usually no more fronts put up, and the behavior of both people is natural and honest. By this time, there is a strong trust between the two, and they have proven they can work on the relationship when disagreements arise. They have learned how to communicate with each other with comfort.

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Is He or She my Perfect Match?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, love is defined as, “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties…unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another.”

How can you be sure this person is your perfect match? Life constantly throws us into unpredictable circumstances. Imagine yourself with your new love. You believe this person is perfect for you. You have the same interests, values, beliefs, and hobbies. You communicate well and are comfortable with each other. And then, something happens.

  • Do you love this person more than yourself?
  • Would you be capable of being this person’s caretaker should Illness or accident leave him or her wheel chair bound?
  • Would you be capable of standing side by side with your loved one if financial hardship strikes and you are left broke and homeless?
  • Would you share, or give to your partner, you last bit of cash, food, or warm blanket?
  • Would you protect your loved one selflessly with all you have?


Truthfully answer these questions, and you will know if you are in love. Love is not give and take. Love is not a 50/50 deal. Love is giving 100% to your partner. Keeping in mind, that true love is contagious. When you give freely without expectations, you will receive love in return.

I’m hoping all my readers find the true love that they deserve. I also want to thank the readers for their time and interest in my work. I hope the read was educational and encouraging. I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave a suggestion, comment, or constructive criticism in the comments section below. Your feedback is always welcomed.

"Be kind to one another" ~ Ellen

God Bless You ~ Margaret Sullivan

Here is a fun Video from the 80's:


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    • Mmargie1966 profile image

      Mmargie1966 5 years ago from Gainesville, GA

      Thanks, Teaches! Yeah, the video brought back fun memories. I try to make my hubs fun if appropriate.

      I'm glad you enjoyed the hub, and as always, your input is really appreciated!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      You have written a very good suggestion on the two year waiting period. This time would definitely help couples to build a solid trust and know each other well before they decided true love was at their door. I also agree that you must be willing to commit 100% to the other in the relationship. Stewart's video was interesting, wow -- his hair was really spiked then!

    • Mmargie1966 profile image

      Mmargie1966 5 years ago from Gainesville, GA

      As always, your input is greatly appreciated, FP!

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Great Hub. Having been on the dating scene later in my life I can attest to what you wrote here. It all starts with infatuation and being physically attracted to the other person is natural and not a fault at all. Nothing wrong with a clothes ripping, hair pulling throw down but then what?

      Your questions are valid but your heart has the true answer.

      The Frog

    • Mmargie1966 profile image

      Mmargie1966 5 years ago from Gainesville, GA

      Thank you for your kind words, James-wolve. I appreciate your input.

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 5 years ago from Morocco

      Very good hub,thanks for sharing your experience and insight.I think waiting 2 years from the date to marry is too long, especially when you r over thirties.Life is too short and in that age you can easily know the right person for you

    • Mmargie1966 profile image

      Mmargie1966 5 years ago from Gainesville, GA

      I am so happy that you found your true love, karthikkash!

      Thank you so much for sharing your story!

    • karthikkash profile image

      Karthik Kashyap 5 years ago from India

      Your hubs are really nice to read and very inspiring :) I always say that love can never happen at first sight. I have dated women before and I am in love with one. And there is definitely a huge difference between being attracted/infatuated to someone and being in love with that person. I love my woman with all her imperfections, and I think that is what one can call love.

      Thanks for writing this hub :)