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Is it Possible to Outgrow Your Friends?

Updated on February 29, 2016

You have been best friends with this girl for a couple of years. When you first met everything was great. You were on the same page. You were young and all about working hard and enjoying your youth. Now you have noticed that as time went on things have changed. What you used to have in common with her you don't anymore. You changed and realized that you want marriage and a family and are ready to settle down while she is still hooking up with a different guy every weekend. When you have a guy problem she does not understand your pain because she has never been in a relationship nor wants one.

Sometimes when people get older they do outgrow their friends. Some people feel that you can keep your friends. If you have a friend who is not sympathetic to your needs and understands what your going through it can be hard. For instance you really like this guy and you think he likes you. Things seem to be going really well. One day you see him laughing with another girl. You tell your friend and she acts like it is no problem. She feels this way because she will date one guy one week and another guy another. She does not want a serious relationship and to be one guy's only. She does not understand what it feels like to be insecure and jealous. She thinks it's okay to sleep around even if you really like someone in particular.

You recently got back in touch with another friend. This friend is more of the relationship type. You tell them your story and they completely understand what you are going through. Whenever you have any guy advice you go to them from now on because you feel it is easier and they get you. You feel that they give you better advice and guide you in the right direction.

When you are going through a hard time and a friend is not caring and understanding it is very frustrating and hard. You are at the point where you need someone to guide you and understand what you are going through. If they are cold and have no feelings it is very hard. It almost comes to a point when you feel that you cannot even go to that friend when you have a problem anymore.

Friends are supposed to be your support system. When you have a problem and feel that you cannot go to them anymore or tell them every detail of your day then you have an even bigger problem than before.

Friends who always want to be single will hold you back if you are looking for a family one day. The only types of guys that this girl wants to meet are guys that do not want a relationship. That's not good for you if you are single and looking for the one.

If you are not into the club scene anymore and your friend still stays out all night getting drunk at almost the age of 25 that could be a problem also. You would rather stay in and have a game night while your friend wants to get drunk and party all night long.

You may have felt that you have done that in your past and now you are at the point where you want to settle down. Instead of going to a club you could try going to Starbucks. That's always a great place to meet someone or a local book store. At a club and bar though people are just looking to hook up.

As you get older you can outgrow your friends. If you and your friends have two totally different lifestyles it could put a strain on the relationship. The reason is that is that the both of you do not understand each other and could relate to each other. You could still keep in touch but maybe you should spend less time together if you feel that your friend is frustrating you more than making you happy. It is better to be alone than to be with a friend who makes you miserable. The minute you feel you cannot express yourself to your friend is the minute you have to get out of that friendship.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      People oftentimes drift apart because they develop different interests or find themselves living under dramatically different circumstances.

      Essentially over time they started having less in common.

      Case in point my very best friend in high school was someone I knew since Jr. high. By the time we graduated he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and I went away to college. While I was walking around the beautiful college campus to various lecture halls for my classes, making new friends, pledging a fraternity and dating coeds; he had gotten married and moved into a dingy 2 bedroom apartment in a seedy section of town while supporting his family as a hospital cafeteria food server.

      After I left college I moved 2000 miles away to Southern California.

      I wrote him a couple of letters as back then no one had laptops or cell phones. I can't recall him ever writing me back. One day I got word that he died from a severe asthma attack. He was only 25.

      Did I "outgrow" him or was it a matter of us taking different paths in life?

      You also see this happen whenever two close friends find themselves in a situation where one person is a now married and the other remains single.

      Soon the married person has children and is constantly talking about their children or can't make time to be with you because they have obligations such as being the designated carpool mom for the little league game.

      Did she "outgrow" you? I wouldn't say so.

      You just have less in common as your lifestyles are completely different.


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