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Is it 'better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all'?

Updated on October 19, 2016

Do you agree with this saying?

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"It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

Is this saying true or just a fabricated way of consoling the depressed and broken hearted?

Many have heard or been told this saying in an aim to be comforted at least once in their lifetime. It’s often said with the intent of making one feel better about a break up or something similar. The question is, how true it is actually? This would all depend entirely on how you look at it.

From one point of view, you may feel that this saying is a lie entirely. How could it possibly be better to be hurt really badly and left to feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped upon? How could it be better to feel like you have wasted so much time (or so many years) giving all of your love, dedication and thoughts to this person and now you are left with nothing? How could it honestly be better to feel this way then it would have felt had you just never met them or loved at all? These may be questions or thoughts filling your mind when you hear this expression during your lowest of love moments.

Should you try and love again after being hurt?

All the questions are valid and all the thoughts seem to have a basis in disagreeing with the saying. It all makes perfect sense – if you plan on spending your whole life alone because you’re too scared to take the chance of trying to find true love, that is. The fact of the matter is that everyone has had their heart broken at east once or knows someone really close to them who has. Almost everyone is familiar with the feeling of heartbreak and yet most people pick themselves up, dust themselves off and get back into the game called love.

Logically speaking, are you really going to spend all your life missing out on love and something that could have been an awesome and wonderful experience (maybe even a never ending one) because you are too scared to take the chance?

When looking from a more realistic point of view it becomes easy to see that there is no way anyone can find true, long-lasting love without taking chances. If you’re more then happy to spend the rest of your life alone then I guess this saying is a lie. But when looking at things rationally, in your search to find your prince or princess, you are going to have to kiss a couple of frogs along the way. Some will make you laugh at how silly you actually were to even have considered dating them and others will make you cry because your heart has been broken but it is all part of the learning process.

How else would you be able to know what works for you in a relationship and what doesn't, or what kind of a girlfriend or boyfriend you are (possessive, clingy, easy going, laid-back, etc) or what characteristics do or don’t work for you in a partner? More importantly, how will you know what signs to look out for to better your chances of never having your heart broken again if you haven’t had it happen to you at least once?

The art of 'love'

Maybe there are some people out there who are or can be lucky enough to find their one true love the very first time they love deeply and never have to experience having a broken heart. Maybe there are those who go around doing the heart breaking and never get their hearts broken. There is always the exception to the rule.

The important thing to know though is that sometimes you have got to keep trying and maybe sometimes it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. Everything you experience is a lesson and a learning curb and another saying proves true – everything happens for a reason.


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    • Jade89 profile image

      Jade Monique Taylor 6 years ago from Johannesburg - South Africa

      Really sorry about your parents :(

      I'm sure are more than proud about all that you've accomplished as a person and a great writer :)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      .....good time to revisit a classic - I use this saying all of the time when I am showing respects to someone I know or admire who perhaps had a loved one pass away - better to have loved than to have not loved at all - I say that, personally speaking, about my two best friends who are no longer with me , my dear mum and dad.

      lake erie time ontario canada 7:50pm

    • Jade89 profile image

      Jade Monique Taylor 6 years ago from Johannesburg - South Africa

      Thanks so much for the great comment epigramman. You are really inspiring

      Glad you enjoyed my hub.

      Have an awesome day!!!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ...such a great writer you are - you should be writing for Cosmopolitan magazine or a daily newspaper with your very own column - because you have wisdom and common sense on your side and you really know how to communicate your thoughts and feelings to your reader.


      lake erie time 8:48am Ontario Canada

      2nd cup of coffee and then up town for a book sale - in this day and age of internet - what's a book????? lol

    • Jade89 profile image

      Jade Monique Taylor 6 years ago from Johannesburg - South Africa

      Thank-you. I agree with you. Sometimes you just have to brave it up and take chances. No matter how long or hard it may be, it is always worth it in the end.

    • profile image

      saffim 6 years ago from Nigeria

      Nice hub. I think love is sacred and no sacrifice is too big in finding it- even if it means getting hurt along the way.