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Is Your Husband Having an Affair? Sign's Your Husband May Be Cheating, and Why.

Updated on August 17, 2017
Tara Nichols profile image

Tara has been married to her "soul mate" for 18 year's. Together they have 3 beautiful children, and live on the Oregon Coast.


Today's society allows more ways to have an affair than ever before. The internet is rampant with online dating sites, meet & greet sites, and even pornography.

So how do you know if your husband is being faithful in your marriage?

In my experience if you have an instinct, or a gut feeling something is not right in your marriage you need to listen to it. This is often the first sign that your husband may be cheating. If you feel something is off, it is time to look into it further.

There are many sign's to look for if you suspect your husband is cheating. Some sign's are more obvious than other's.

Here are some of the sign's to look for if you suspect an affair is happening.

1) First sign is that gut feeling that something is not right. Follow you instinct.

2) Your husband is becoming distant in your relationship. Whether emotionally, or sexually either one of these, or both can mean he is engaging in an affair.

3) He comes home smelling like perfume. This one happens more often than you may think. If the woman is wearing perfume it can easily rub off onto his clothes which he may not notice.

4) His work hours are getting longer, and he is coming home later than usual. Another sign may be he is suddenly not coming home for dinner if this was once part of his normal routine, etc...

5) He suddenly puts password protection on his cell phone, or computer that he never had before, or he change's the passwords that you use to know on his cell phone, computer, email account, etc...

6) There is money missing from his bank account, or unaccounted for money out of his paycheck. This may be due to spending money out on dinner's, hotel rooms, or on thing's for the other woman.

7) He starts carrying his cell phone with him wherever he goes, even inside the house.

8) He starts wanting to do more things "alone" such as trips to the grocery store, walking the dog, going alone to events at work, things that you use to do together start to become far, and few between.

9) He starts doing his laundry, sending his clothes off to the dry cleaners, or concealing his dirty clothes at the bottom of the laundry hamper.

10) You call his phone but he is often unavailable, sends you to voice-mail, or his phone is turned off completely. If there are periods of time where you don't know where your spouse is, and he is not answering his phone this is an important sign that something is not right-

11) Your marriage has become "sexless". He is never in the mood, or is tired constantly, or he makes excuses often as to why he can't make love.

12) His stops showing any type of affection towards you, such as hugging, kissing, touching etc..this can be due to the guilt he feels from having an affair so his reaction is to 'distance" himself from you.

13) He starts worrying more about his appearance. If he starts suddenly going to the gym, grooming more often, showering more than usual, dressing differently, or buying new cologne. These sudden changes in his appearance, or personal style may be due to the other woman requesting he do something different, like shave his beard, or wear a certain cologne, or start working out in the gym etc..

14) He picks fights with you easily so he can have a reason to storm out of the house without giving you an explanation as to why he is leaving, giving him some time to go meet the other woman.

15) If you question any of his behavior, or why he is working late, or dressing differently he becomes "defensive" and blows up at you. This is most likely due to his fear that you may be catching on to his cheating ways. People that are guilty of something often get very defensive if they are questioned.

16) He becomes mean to you, talks down to you, start's picking apart your appearance, how you dress, your weight, how you wear your hair, or your makeup. Men that are having an affair often become very cruel to their wife. On the opposite side of the spectrum they could start being overly "nice".This can be due to their guilt of cheating, they may start buying you gift's, or being overly "attentive" where they weren't before.

17) He hides the cell phone bill. He doesn't want you to see odd, unusual, or repeated numbers on the bill so he will often hide the bill, or throw it away before you have a chance to look at it.

18) He is acting like he is single. He suddenly acts like his family is an inconvenience to him and his life. He ignores the kids, stops helping out around the house, and becomes distant to everyone in the family.

19) When his phone rings he takes the call outside, or in the other room. This means he does not want you to hear who he is talking too.

20) His social media profiles begin changing. Does he list that he is "married" as his status on Facebook? Does his social media profiles include any picture's of you together, or is it just him in the pictures? Do his social media accounts make him appear as though he is "single"? What about his passwords? Does he change his passwords, or keep "private" social media accounts?

There are many sign's of a cheating husband. It is important to remember that these sign's do not guarantee an affair is happening but are rather clues to look for that can help you if you suspect your husband of having an affair.

Modern technology can also work in your favor if you do suspect your husband, or partner of cheating. There are apps that can be installed on his phone and your phone that will show his exact location. There is also apps that will record his call history, text messages, location, and even record his actual phone calls that you can then access from your phone, or computer and listen to his entire conversation's without him ever knowing it. All of these are resources that you can use to help you get concrete evidence before confronting him.


Reason's Men have Affairs

There are many reason's that men choose to have affairs.

1) They are bored in their current relationship and are looking for excitement, and thrill. Men have short attention spans, and they tend to get bored easily.

2) They are seeking sexual excitement. Spouses, and Couples that have been married/together for awhile tend to get into a "sexual rut". If you feel like this has happened in your sex life together most likely so does he. Try and spice thing's up a little, go outside of your normal routine, and try changing thing's up in the bedroom. Do things you wouldn't normally do. Try new thing's together in the bedroom.

3) He is selfish. Some men are just plain selfish.

4) His spouse may have a low sex drive, or just isn't interested in sex anymore period. This can happen as women get older, and go through menopause. If you have a sexless marriage it can have devastating consequences on all aspects of your relationship together. This can cause him to seek someone else out that is interested in having sex with him.

5) He feels as though he is not valued by you, or appreciated anymore, or both. Men need love. If you are not connecting emotionally, and physically, or he feels as though he is being neglected by you. It can cause him to find someone that will give him the attention he is looking for.

6) The opportunity was presented to him. Unfortunately, there are woman out there who do not care if a man is married, or in a relationship. Men are opportunists, if the opportunity arises they may act on it.

The consequence's of an affair are devastating to the relationship, and to the innocent partner. It can have a negative affect on your marriage for year's to come. It can be a very tough thing to get over. You are often left feeling unattractive, inadequate, and are constantly trying to figure out what is wrong with you that led your husband to cheat. It is important to remember no matter what the reason is that caused him to cheat it is not your fault.

Affairs are a devastating thing that happen far too often. If you do in fact find that your husband has been cheating, it is entirely up to you whether to stay, and fight for your relationship, or walk away.

Has your husband ever had an affair?

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© 2017 Tara Nichols


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    • TimFilmoore profile image

      TimFilmoore 7 months ago from Los Angeles CA

      i have shit to do and having an affair is the last thing on my list, nice hub! also, these could also be applied to some women