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Is it Okay for Single Men to befriend Married Women?

Updated on April 5, 2017
DDE profile image

Single men are free and have no commitment. Being a friend to married women is not for everyone.

Friendships with Single Men and Married Women

All friends together.
All friends together. | Source
Holding hands tell you they are interested in each other.
Holding hands tell you they are interested in each other. | Source
They hug each other and feel something special.
They hug each other and feel something special. | Source
Quote for friendship.
Quote for friendship. | Source
They like each other.
They like each other. | Source
Good conversations.
Good conversations. | Source
A single man  enjoying his journey.
A single man enjoying his journey. | Source

Single men and Married Women

  • · Interestingly, some single men can be friends with married women; do you think this is a good idea?

    I know of single men who are friends with married women and that is allowed by their married partners.

    · It all depends on how and what the friendships develop into, right!

    The single man flirted with a married woman and had spent more than an hour with her alone in her home while the husband was away at work.

    · They talked and laughed together like really old friends could this slowly forming friendship turn into something more?

    All the time spent together can become something nobody ever dreamed. On the other side of things they can just remain good friends.

    If a woman lacks her time with her newly wedded husband she will look the other way. Certain acts between two such friends can trigger a spark and their actions can show something more.

    Alone time together means more problems.

    · Do you think the situation should be avoided?

    · Would you be jealous of your partner if she spent too much alone with a single man?

    In this case her husband works a twelve hour shift for four days; two days are the morning shift for twelve hours at a time.

    The same for the night shift and, thereafter, has two days at home.

    On the free days he works his fields manually and spends all this time to prepare the ground for the new season.

    The wife is fed up of living this way and they have only been married for three months.

    According to her conversations, she is quite fed up of spending too much time alone, and now the single guy comes around to make her lonely days feel happier and fulfilled.

    She is in no position to talk to her husband to spend time with her he is too conservative and dominant to take heed to his wife's conversations.

    · Would her husband like the idea of this single guy visiting his wife, after all, they are also friends?

    In this 21st century you would expect different from men but most men don't approve of their wives having single men friends..

    They are afraid or insecure of something that might happen emotions can be complicated and grow between two people.

    It is normal for such feelings to develop as they have developed before in the marriage.

    It is however, up to the two people who chose to be friends to prove they can be trusted together.

    If the single man has other thoughts like something else up his sleeves and knows how to get his around the married woman that should friendship should be totally avoided.

    Some men don't mind their wives having single men as friends it is a new world you live in and anything goes for some while for others these friendships are totally restricted.

    Saying, ''hello,'' and the usual greeting is fine but further detailed conversations are not allowed

    · Can a single man be friends with a married woman without the thought of getting down to it?

    Trust plays a big role in friendships and especially, with a single man and a married woman.

    You could be friends without thinking of romance.

    The husband will think otherwise even though he trusts his wife deep down he can still feel jealousy. The over protectiveness can show in some situations.

    You are his wife the thought of someone else being with you when he is not around can build a slight mistrust through his mind.

    A touch on the hand, or face from the single man can make the husband go into a tailspin.

    The friendship can turn to meeting secretly and then from one step further to another all this can happen very fast.

    Sometimes the single man can be best of friends with both people, with the husband and wife and the single man can find his way in between their marriage.

    · That could be a triangle won't it?

    The married guy is not familiar with these situations he either trusts his wife or does not care who comes by.

    Every man won't have an evil mind about his wife but it is a strange habit if a single man comes by and spends an hour or two talking to a married woman while her husband is not at home.

    It does give others a low character of the woman and this shows the married woman's weakness.

    If a married woman seeks the friendship of a single man, and prefers to be alone with the single man secretly then certainly something has to be going on.

    Married woman in many marriages are not allowed to have free conversations with single men.

    It is cultural or some men are just old-fashioned and don't like the idea of their wives being friends with single men.

    If a married man loves his wife enough to care about how she spends her time with.

    · Won't he be interested in the single man visiting his wife at odd times?

    Women should not use their attractiveness to be with single guys it does not give them the right to behave this way.

    Most single men take advantage of the situation when attractive married woman throw themselves at them.

    · Do you think married women should be friends with single men?

    · Why can't married women and single men be good friends?

    The husbands find this a weird thought and think right away their wives are looking for something more from the single men than just a good friendship.

    It does not look right in the eyes of the married man for his wife to have a single male friend.

    If a married man does not love his wife he can ignore her friendship with the single man.

    A single man and a married woman are bound to cross the lines in time things can go further with uncontrollable feelings.

    It is difficult to think about or cope even in the time of today about single men being friends with married women but in some lives it is accepted.

    Friends with a single man can lead to many places, and scenes trust is very important and without trust everything can be lost. Too much of trust can lose you everything in a marriage.

    If you want to be friends with a single guy be straight forward and don't hide your thoughts friends are always there for each other and they don't hurt the other.

    An affair grows, and once they have stepped over the boundary there is no turning back. Think carefully of what matters most before you become friends with that single man.

    You got to know what you want from your life.

    You can say what you like, and do what you want. When marriages break there is often someone to blame for what went wrong.

    Many good marriages go bad from the appearance of the third and unwanted person.

    Relationships go bad when one becomes too trusting and thinks it is all fine until one day everything falls apart.

    Love is from the heart and when she can't go on with her days without seeing that single man. Definitely, there is something brewing up or has been brewed up, and that is when she has to give it up.

    Too much can go wrong from a simple friendship, feelings can't always be controlled.

    Taking away that person from your life can be most heartbreaking if you have gone more than that mile.

    Too deep can ruin it all and is only a matter of time before it leads to a break up.

    Certain parts of a marriage show you that your friendship with that single man is only a friendship.

    You will always want to go back to your husband and tell him that he was right.

    Admitting to your husband that he that was right is not easy and facing up to the truth is also not as easy as you thought it would be.

    · You can't hide from the truth.

    · Only the truth can let your heart free.

Can Married women be friends with Single men?

Friendships with Single Men

Do you think married women should be friends with single men?

See results

Single and Married People

Writing shows me more about my life. Thank you for reading my hubs.
Writing shows me more about my life. Thank you for reading my hubs. | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

Comments

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    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 3 years ago from Norfolk

      DDE

      Personally I don't think it works very well - I think that some men even feel threatened when their wives have women friends. Insecurity perhaps!

      Sally

    • Thief12 profile image

      Thief12 3 years ago from Puerto Rico

      I don't see why not. I mean, does marriage really means that we have to isolate ourselves from everything? I don't think so.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tough area for sure. My experience is that it does not work well, but then I have seen instances of trust and love that cannot be derailed by friendships with singles, so obviously it depends on the people involved.

    • MG Singh profile image

      MG Singh 3 years ago from Singapore

      Nothing wrong with such a relationship

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      You've posed a question that is thought provoking but hard for me to answer, Devika. In theory, there should be nothing wrong with a single man being friends with a married woman, but in practice I doubt that this would work well in most relationships.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Sally thank you for coming by here you made a good point, '' I think that some men even feel threatened when their wives have women friends. Insecurity perhaps!''

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thief12 I so agree with you that marriage should not allow partners to be isolated from life greatly mentioned and I am so glad you said it. Thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi billybuc it does depend on the people thank you for sharing your thoughts here.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MG Singh well said and I so agree with you thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      AliciaC thank you for sharing your opinions here and sure it won't work out in many relationships.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      It depends on the context and the individuals. If they are work friends or sports friends, they have something in common. They need to draw the lines and know when to include the spouse.

    • lisavanvorst profile image

      Lisa VanVorst 3 years ago from New Jersey

      Here is my opinion on this hub. I firmly believe that married couples should have friends who are married or in a long lasting relationship. That being said I am not a jealous person but it would raise questions if my husband was spending time with a single woman. Now my husband is the jealous type I feel if this hub was addressing woman being friends with a single woman the husband would have a fit. My husband does talk with our mutual female friends on the phone. I call him the male form of Dear Abby. I have no problem with this since these woman are married and or in a long lasting relationship and well I know he talks with them and so do their husbands. He is just being a friend. But if a single woman gets to close to a good man who is married it will only cause stress in the couples marriage. As I said I have no jealous in my blood but red flags go up when a woman is wanting to see this man without his wife.

    • Thief12 profile image

      Thief12 3 years ago from Puerto Rico

      So by these standards, if I have a longtime friend of the opposite sex, someone that might be a friend of mine even before I met my wife, and I get married and she happens to be single, I should cut all ties with that longtime friend?

      Or say that I have a female friend that is "married or in a long lasting relationship", and she suddenly got divorced or broke up with her partner, should I stop that relationship as well?

    • profile image

      billys1 3 years ago from "Somewhere", USA

      Ok so I may have unusual ideas sometimes but it seems to me that simply because a man and a woman (or which ever combo you prefer) tie the knot in marriage that they do not begin their new lives in a vacuum or bubble. They have had and will continue to have many friends both married and unmarried through work, church the doctors office, where ever.

      If one spouse cannot have enough faith in the other person in their relationship to go out into the real world and make friends and acquaintances with people of both genders then they have definitely married the wrong person. Trust in one another and having the faith that this trust will be hornored by the other seem to me to be the cornerstones of a good and long lasting relationship of any kind. Not having this faith in the other person could only lead to insecurities and jealous feelings which I can speak from experience does reputable damage to an intimate relationship.

      We all live and work in a world filled with both males and females and these males and females are both married or committed or unmarried to someone or uncommitted to someone. Most of these other peoples do honer whatever form of lifestyle we have chosen to be in (married single or just go away and don't bother me, etc.). We all have to be mature enough to be aware of this.

      From my own stand point, I trusted my wife with my very life from the very moment that we met(she was my C.N.A. when I was in the hospital--but that is another story)if I couldn't trust her to be around single males then or now, then how could I have trusted and continue to trust her with my life?

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thief12 being friends is fine you must know when not to step over the boundaries and you should not not cut all ties with your long time friend before your wife that also depends on what your wife has to say about it.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Faith is crucial and you are right,''We all live and work in a world filled with both males and females and these males and females are both married or committed or unmarried to someone or uncommitted to someone.'' Life is a challenge how one chooses to behave when in contact is entirely up to the that individual. thank you for sharing such an interesting and thoughtful comment.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway, ''It depends on the context and the individuals,'' so true thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi lisavanvorst, ''As I said I have no jealous in my blood but red flags go up when a woman is wanting to see this man without his wife.'' So glad you get my point and so true thank you.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago from Texas

      I agree with both Billybuc and billys1. I have single male friends and my precious honey bunny does not mind.

      It all depends on the people, as each person is different.

    • Hackslap profile image

      Harry 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Some very close female friends of mine are married or in committed relationships ...but yes ..you must know where to draw a line and the protocols must be established during the early stage of the relationship...else it can end in complete disaster..

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Shyron so true and well mentioned thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hackslap you are dead right and so nice to read a comment from another new writer. Thank you very much for stopping by.

    • MG Singh profile image

      MG Singh 3 years ago from Singapore

      Dear DDE, I think there is nothing wrong in it. Lovely post !

    • Alphadogg16 profile image

      Kevin W 3 years ago from Texas

      Interesting read DDE, I personally wouldn't have a problem with it, if I were married. I've never been the jealous type. I think it stems from insecurities/ self esteem issues.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Alphadogg16 you are so right ''I think it stems from insecurities/ self esteem issues.'' Thank you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MG Singh thank you

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 3 years ago from Lagos

      Great write! you tackled this issue so well. Personally, friendship with a married woman aint bad especially when you set your boundaries and so too if you've been friends for ages -- even before she got married. But, it is never heard in my place of a married woman allowing access to a single man to come to his home for long chats when the husband is away - that's historic!

      I take extraordinary care not to grant myself the privilege of disturbing a married woman with my overtures. If i know you are married, i take a walk and keep everything very formal. lol

      As a single man, I have no qualms with the idea but care must be taken. I don't want another man 'running-temperature' cos of me.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ubanichijioke ''As a single man, I have no qualms with the idea but care must be taken. I don't want another man 'running-temperature' cos of me.'' You said it perfectly thank you for commenting on my hubs.

    • lisavanvorst profile image

      Lisa VanVorst 3 years ago from New Jersey

      I don't think so

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      lisavanvorst thank you

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago from Texas

      I came back to leave another comment after I thought about it. If a man seeks out a married woman, that is wrong.

      But is a married woman meets a single man and they become friends and they both understand that it is just a friendship and nothing more, that is a great thing. And rare.

      Then I think at what point do they stop just being friends and become lovers?

      I have male friends, but I don't go out with them.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Shyron well said and your second stop by has given me more to think about on this topic thank you kindly.

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