- Gender and Relationships
Its not "Just sex"
Sex is a beautiful act
There is this notion which is circulated among some people that sex is just an act of procreation and an act of satisfying one's sexual urges as they arise. Some will shrug and say that sex is just that "Sex". Where sex is defined as just an act of procreation and satisfying ones need.
Sex has so many elements to it. It is entertaining, satisfying, gratifying, offers healing, contributes to overall health, for procreation, for sanity, creates bond of intimacy and it is liberating. Sex is a science within itself. A sex suppressed society of individuals will soon self destruct if sexual liberation is not realized. In the same breath an overly sexual driven and over indulging society will also self destruct. That said sex is a beautiful act which is exploited through misuse, over use and misrepresentation.
That one three letter word used to describe such an essential aspect of human existence and life in general has so many attributes to it so much so that it is nothing short of erroneous to try to portray sex as a straight jacket "sex is just sex" issue. It is through some form of sex related activity that there is a continuance of life. Even in A-sexual reproduction where no sex organs are involved the host parent and the resulting offspring are dependent on each other for a healthy process. There is some form of intimacy involved in spite of how short lived or impersonal it might seem.
Many life altering decisions have been taken based on sex. Partners are chosen or put aside based on sex compatibility. Sex is a very exciting part of our existence which has brought much happiness to some and much sorrow to others. The evidence of the shared intimacy can be seen right around us in every avenue where there is human existence. Babies are born, wanted and unwanted. Sexually transmitted diseases are passed on tearing lives apart. The unborn child unfortunately sometimes shares the consequences of these sexually transmitted diseases (S.T.D) or sexually transmitted infections (S.T.I) with their parents. Sex is an intimate act, the after effect take around with us for some time. These after effects include:
· broad smiles and a feeling of completion, satisfaction, wellbeing
· anger, feeling cheated
· anxiety, fear of having done something wrong
· bewilderment, did I really do that? What have I done?
· medical conditions
· an infected or threatened foetus
· sick babies
· broken hearts
· broken homes
· broken relationships
· a sense of being one with our partner
· a sense of being exploited, taken advantage of
The list could go on and on as we explore all the after-effects of having had sex or having had it forced upon us. I have heard of cases where doctors have advised their patients that what they need is some satisfying sex. That reflects just how important sex is to the human. A satisfied and connected couple is a pleasing sight to behold. A sexually depressed couple tend to have all sorts of issues arising in their relationship because of that one main issue. Lack of sexual satisfaction.
I think it is also fair to say that in the same manner we have varying levels of sleep so too we have varying levels of sex. I would classify these levels as :
· sexual satisfaction - this takes place when there is a mutual connection which allows for that intimate connection.
· sexual gratification - this is where sex is merely for the sake of satisfying our urges and takes place in every relationship.
· sexual lusts - this can lead to rapes and other undesirable sexual misconducts. People who are overcome by lust do not really engage themselves in the habit of controlling their sexual desires.
How do people arrive at the notion that sex is just an act of procreation and a need to satisfy one's sexual urges? I would say it is as a result of a lack of that sexual connection in their own lives. They may be stuck at the level of sexual gratification and not true satisfaction.