- Gender and Relationships
It's a Bitch! My Puppy Shower & My Girlfriends
Celebrate ALL Life Choices
We all saw HBO's Sex and the City episode #83 "A Woman's Right to Shoes" where Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker's character) goes through the episode talking about how she gives and gives to the choices her friends have made, at weddings, showers, kids' births, kids' whatevers... and how single women don't get that acknowledgment from society. She winds up registering at a shoe store where a friend buys her a pair of Manola's to replace a pair that were stolen. And as great as that was, mind you Carrie is never the recipient of an actual gift. She only breaks even at the end.
I have often bitched about this long standing social tradition that the only life choices we celebrate are marriage and kids. I don't mind attending these affairs gifts in hand, and telling people that I respect their lives and wish them happiness. I don't begrudge any body the right to choose what lifestyle they will live. And I am happy to celebrate with them.
However, it has pissed me off tremendously over the years that very very few people have ever thought to reciprocate my support. I celebrated my 30th birthday as a single woman. No husband, no kids. But I supported all my friends whose lives were different.
And even since then; I am married 9 years now. My husband and I chose not to breed. We are neutered. By choice. We have dedicated a huge part of our lives to dogs. We have been very active with our Humane Society and have rescued several dogs over the years. Recently our 4 dog home became a 5 dog home with the addition of a new pup from the shelter.
Every one of our dogs was a rescue. And I have bitched and complained that despite all the diaper bags, changing tables, onsies and Dr Seuss books I have bought and delivered to baby showers, birthdays, and Xmas's for years, no one ever knocked on our door with a little donation to our Humane Society and said, "Congratulations on your new dog! We celebrate your life with you, the way you always celebrate our life with us."
It's as if society has gone out of it's way to make sure I know that my choices are not as important or valid as the choices of married hetero people with children.
Christmas after Christmas at my in-laws where I have given and given to every one's kids, had anyone ever handed us even just a little box of Milk Bones with a freaking bow on it acknowledging our life choices? Ha! It's bad enough that society is like that, but when friends and family never look past these conservative traditional judgments to show you they love you, it hurts.
Well, my girlfriends heard my plea.
"It's a Bitch!" invitations went out, and the puppy shower was thrown: Tiara's, feather boa's, pink fluff and tulle everywhere. My house filled with balloons congratulating me on my little girl, a "pound" cake ha ha ha, and gifts ranging from Carpet Fresh, to dog clothes, to a princess dog bed and carrier, to a gift certificate for my vet office.
We drank champagne with strawberries and passed the puppy around to pose for pictures.
I realize the choices I've made are not for everybody. And I respect that. But just as I respect and celebrate other people's choices I think it was beautiful that my friends celebrated my life choice with me. They proved that no one's life is any more important, acceptable, or celebrate-able.
When you get down to the heart of this, it wasn't about dogs at all. It wasn't about shelters and rescues. It was about friends accepting friends. It was about celebrating your friend's lives the way you hope they will celebrate yours.
Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte ain't got nothin' on my friends.
I hope everyone who reads this will think about the friends who've been supportive and celebrated life choices. **Think about the people who have celebrated your life without any reciprocation.** Think about the friends you cherish who have not had children or weddings and have never had the wonderful feeling of acceptance and pride from their friends for their unique life choices.
Acknowledge a friend's pet, or singleness, or artwork, or new business, or coming out, or new apartment - the way they've acknowledged the traditional choices of marriage and children for you.
Celebrate friendship. Throw someone a bash in their honor because they've been a wonderful friend, had a hard year, lost weight, broke up with a deadbeat partner, decided to go back to school, or "just because". There are a million valid wonderful choices and accomplishments that your friends are a part of every day.
There is no greater gift than love and acceptance.
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All text is original content by Veronica.All photos are used with permission. All videos are used courtesy of Youtube.