I've Fallen, But I'm Not Getting Up
Waking up this morning, in a mostly dark room, and thinking that it was around my usual 7:00 a.m. time, and glancing at the clock, being made aware that it was close to 9:00 a.m. It was then that I became aware of the little rays from the morning sun peering and streaming in to the room. The thing that was not a surprise to me is that I was waking up alone. I wake up alone most mornings. My wife is an early riser, where on the contrast, I like to take every advantage I have to sleep in late. And Monday is the day that I had set aside as my official day off. I had even made plans that I would keep my 10 month old granddaughter on Mondays, since I was going to be off and lounging around the house, so that I could watch her grow and develop into the little diva that she is to become.
Before stirring much, I paused to thank the Lord for my new day, and to give him glory for watching over us, and keeping us safe through the night. When my wife realized that I was awake, I could hear her saying good morning from the other room, and seemingly seconds later, she entered the room with a fresh cup of hot coffee and sat it on the night stand next to the bed. Again, she said good morning, and then asked me how I felt? Then she leaned over me and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
From the little rays of sunshine flowing in to the room, I could see the brightness of her eyes, and the radiant smile on her face. I knew that she had probably been up for hours already, and had already tackled two or three chores, but she wouldn't disturb me, because she understood that I was always drained on Sundays after teaching, singing, praying, and preaching, so Monday was a day of rest.
After I had taken a couple of sips from the mug of hot coffee, and sat up on my pillows, she came and snuggled up in my arms, to relax with me for a minute before I got up and started on my day. Holding her in my arms made me feel grand, loved, and somehow large. Holding her made me feel as though I mattered, and like I belonged.
Yet, I could tell that there was a comforting that she needed from me, though no words were exchanged, as she wiggled to get into the right spot next to me. I knew that she was pulling on my strength and courage, and I silently prayed that God would refresh the both of us abundantly. I had never thought about her being a preacher's wife, that she gave as much as I did, and she carried as much of my burdens as I would allow her. I had never thought about her loving the people and the church as much as I did. I never thought about the people who would come to her with their issues and concerns, and how some of those things would be as draining to her as it was for me.
I reflected on time. Just remembering that we had been together since June of '83. It had been nearly 26 years, and we were still in love. It had been nearly 26 years, and we had spent very few days or night separated from one another, unless it was for some unforeseen emergency.
Lying there, with her cradled in my arms, made me feel the bond and unity we had together in love, and it felt good.
But then about that time, I also remembered, the little diva was not with me, I had the whole day all to myself. So I gently nudged my wife out of the bed, smiling to myself, knowing that I loved her dearly, and knowing that " I've Fallen, But I'm Not Getting Up."