ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

Jealousy, A Feeling You Just Can't Endure/Steps On How to Abandon the Green-Eyed-Monster

Updated on August 30, 2014


I have had my jealous moments in life, and I hate the way jealousy makes me feel. It's hard to understand why some people appear to have more in life, and I find it baffling to try to comprehend why others are more skilled in areas that I lack in, but as I started to examine myself, I realized that I have some good qualities too, but sometimes it's hard to stay focused on my good qualities, because I'm too busy looking at everyone else.


Physiologists report that Jealousy is one of the strongest and least understood of human emotions which lead to a series of problems such as suicide attempts, spousal abuse, and even murder.

Another word for Jealousy is envy: An emotion which occurs when a person lacks another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either

This article is about how to deal with Jealousy. Detailing the different forms of envy and how to deal with the nagging discomfort that judgmental desire will cause. This article provides perceptive steps on how to overcome the feeling that you just can’t endure.

A Feeling Of Self-Entitlement

Money Fight
Money Fight | Source

1. Materialistic Jealousy

1. Materialistic Jealousy

Money-Oriented Envy is a form of jealousy which usually occurs when longing after something of earthly value, which belongs to someone else. Ignoring those who have less, and always checking out who's got what, or if anyone has more, leads to intense Money-Oriented Envy jealousy.

I Can't Believe He Got The Promotion!

Three images of  business men
Three images of business men | Source

2. Promotional Driven Jealousy

Promotional Driven Jealousy- This form of jealousy can occur within the workplace, surrounding a co-worker who receives a higher position, or hating on a person that receives constant attention in the public-eye.

3. Insecure Jealousy

Insecure Jealousy- This is the worse form of jealousy, which often leads to murder. This form of jealousy stems from feeling deprived, many relationships suffer from this form of envy.

Cain Kills Abel

A Photo from The Golden Children's Bible showing Abel's Offering
A Photo from The Golden Children's Bible showing Abel's Offering | Source
A Photo of Cain as he looks upon his sin involving killing his brother Able out of jealousy.
A Photo of Cain as he looks upon his sin involving killing his brother Able out of jealousy. | Source

The First Form Of Jealousy Led To Murder

History uncovers the first form of jealousy which ended in murder. Adam Eve had two sons, Cain and Abel. Abel was a sheep herder and Cain was a farmer.

One day Cain brought some of his harvest as an offering to the Lord, and Abel brought the fattest and healthiest of his lambs as an offering. The Lord was pleased with Abel and his offering, however he was not happy with Cains offering.

Abel's offering came from the heart, he wanted to give God the best of what he had, and Cain's offering was bitter, due to jealousy.

Cain's hate provoked jealousy towards his brother Abel, when the two were in the fields together, Cain killed his brother. Cain's jealousy towards his brother led him to commit murder. This same kind of jealousy is prevalent today.

The following Steps Can Help You Abandon the Green-Eyed-Monster

A replica of Green Fist
A replica of Green Fist | Source

The Jealousy Poll

Is Jealousy A Serious Problem In Society?

See results

Physiologist Share That Jealousy Is A chaotic Disorder

Physiologist share that jealousy is a chaotic passion, an emotion that can strike with sudden intensity. Which leaves many with a sense of loss and hysteria, jealousy can turn feelings of profound sadness and fear into restless distress unbearable humiliation and shocking hostility which can lead to fatal attraction.

Your best friend just purchased a new car, while you’re still driving around in a hoopty.

An unbearable feeling that is tough to endure jealousy brings out the worse in a person.

Doctors say that is normal to fell a bit jealous at times. Yes you could envy a coworker for his or her success on the job or because of wonderful relationship that they may have with the boss, similar to the Cain and Abel predicament. This emotion stems from a perceived imbalance of inequality.

Jealousy is a negative emotion. The envy that one may feel towards another person can trouble your everyday life. A wife may feel jealous if her husband shows attention to an attractive woman. This problem could be while the husband is watching a movie featuring a beautiful woman. Some women run away with the thought that that their men are having naughty thoughts about another woman. Such thoughts can lead to extreme, jealousy leading to imagined thoughts, of paranoid suspicions, in which the woman begins looking through her husband’s pockets, email, or his wallet.It is normal to feel jealous of others; however envy is not a circumstance that one has to endure.

The Jealousy Poll

Have You Ever Been Jealous Of Someone

See results

1. Run Your Own Race!

Men running in a  race.
Men running in a race. | Source

We Are All On Different Journeys Mapped Out For Our Endurance

Form a more compassionate look at the person that you are jealous of, if the person you are envious of is getting ahead due to devious measures, pride yourself by running a race of integrity.

2. Focus On Yourself

Beautiful women and a self reflection.
Beautiful women and a self reflection. | Source

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

There will always be someone out there than you, and with more stuff comes more problems. Count your blessings.

3. Bloom Where You're Planted

a pink flower blooming in water.
a pink flower blooming in water. | Source

You're Right Where You Need To Be In Life

You are right where you need to be in life, and if you are not careful, you could miss out on a great opportunity designed especially for you. Don't move in haste, look for the chance to make a difference right where you are.

Consumed With Jealousy? Learn How To Stop The Monster Inside

Jealousy--The Sin No One Talks about: How to Overcome Envy and Live a Life of Freedom


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      This is a very good concept. Living humbly is hard for many to do.

      I like what you wrote.

      'Total concentration on what i was doing at the time other wise i'd "drop" the ball, For example try to juggle 3 objects & think at the same time, you can't as soon as you think you drop one'

      This is how I am in life Lol!

      Great concept Dave36! As always, good stuff Mate!

    • profile image

      Dave36 3 years ago

      Yes it is cool the now stuff, & you yourself do experience it so don't go looking for it!lol..It's basically when your doing something you love for the sake of loving it, so i used to practice "kick ups" "headers" etc on my own..Total concentration on what i was doing at the time other wise i'd "drop" the ball, so that is being in the now moment & no thoughts at all just doing..For example try to juggle 3 objects & think at the same time, you can't as soon as you think you drop one..I tell you what Rugby "is" the toughest game in the world by far, & you've got to be a proper man to play that game!lol..We was all banned from playing it at school through fear of us getting injured, as football is/was our number 1 sport in the UK..BUT, come on!lol..Is Football really that important?, or is it a distraction of some kind just like the celebrity culture is?..I couldn't imagine wanting to have 100's of millions in the bank, & i don't see Pro Footballers as real people now..What would you do with the money, if they started paying you 300,000 a week for writing?.

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      "Now" moment, How cool I just checked that out! My Pastors son was into football/Soccer and he chose to become a Pastor like his dad. Of course I think that was the right thing to do. This sport takes a toll on the body.

      When I was growing up my dad played Rugby while we lived in Germany. Very brutal sport he was always in fight, and I had a teacher who played Rugby and someone knocked his front teeth out... he was from Ireland, and I couldn't understand what he was saying. It was very strange and sad at the same time. :-(

      This is the closet that I've been to a sport such as football.

      You have raised my attention towards the dark side of football. Good insight Dave36.

    • profile image

      Dave36 3 years ago

      Yes a lot of hours watching stuff on utube, & reading about various subjects to try & get an all round picture on life....I used to think Bruce Lee was just a great martial artist, but i reckon he was a great human being, & he was a "very" wise man....I'm pretty sure he knew what life was for & all about, just like John Lennon & Martin Luther etc did....I'll tell you a vid your'l love if you haven't seen it already: utube: Bruce Lee "Be Water" i must have played it a 100o times, & the message in the song is the message i'm trying to put out....As far as Soccer or as we call it "Football"!lol, i lived for playing it as a kid & that's what helped me through my childhood....The thing is though is i now know it wasn't mean't for me, & i don't look back & wish it had of been....I reckon it was there for me to get me where i am today, & all those 1000's of hours practising wasn't a waste as while i was practising i was in the "now" moment....If you watch the vids on the "now" stuff, you might understand what i mean by that....I hardly watch it nowadays as it's not Football/Soccer any more, as i see it as nothing more than another soap opera....I can't stand to see greedy sports stars getting paid millions, for doing something they profess to love while kids around the world are starving....I say the sport has been grown as another distraction to the masses, & hardly any kids play around here now, there either sat watching it or xboxing it!lol....I know the Brazilian World Cup is coming this year, & instead of being excited i wonder how many 10's of billions are gonna be wasted on that.

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      Lol! I was wondering where you got your information and how you were able to transform your knowledge into such original content. I love Bruce Lee!!!

      You said you played Soccer? I ask because I am putting an article together about the sport I would love to interview you. I've been taking pictures of people from different countries who love the sport, but I never knew of anyone who had the chance to play pro! Wow! The stories you must have.

      Thanks for sharing Dave36 you are a blessing!

    • profile image

      Dave36 3 years ago

      Thanks mate i appreciate your help, & replies....Just in case you was wondering where i got most of my ideas from etc, the following vids are what helped turn my life around: Eckhart Tolle for emotions/feelings control & the ego, which once i learn't meant no more worrying/crying/depressions/anger etc, & defo no more looking back....Alan Watts Boat Analogy & Yin/Yang (which are must see's in my opinion)....Joe Rogan Life/Sensory deprivation tank + Podcasts....Bruce Lee (yes bruce lee!lol) anything you can find by him on philosophy....Tony Robbins (if you need any motivation)....All on utube for free....In my opinion from my friends/family etc most problems we have stem from our minds, & how we think about certain things, so the trick for me was conquering my mind....It's not easy to grasp the ego mind stuff, but i would love to know what you think about it....I'm not saying you need any of it mate, but i thought i'd put it out there for anyone who might see it that's how amazing i think it all is.

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      Very true! You seem to practice what you speak/write, I can tell because your words are expressed differently, holding the kind of truth which bares the trials of life.

    • profile image

      Dave36 3 years ago

      Well i'll be honest with you mate if i didn't give advice out, i'd never take it myself....It's a bit like if i know something that would benefit anyone in general, & then i put that advice on here....BUT, then didn't take that advice myself what would that make me?lol....What i do with my life questions is i'll read a bit on the subject for a week or so, then i'll practice what iv'e read in real life situations....I did this with my feelings/emotions control i read something/i practised & experimented/i realized something/then i wrote what i'd realised....I don't see just reading something & then writing what iv'e read as any good, without the practise/experimenting & realisation moment....In fact iv'e never realised anything while iv'e been reading, apart from a few times when i was writing did i ever realise something significant to me....So basically don't be swayed by anything you read ever, only be swayed by what you've realised yourself in real life.

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      "Working on all my worries to eliminate them." I like that Dave 36 you are very right! We have to go through a process in order to fix it, or understand it. I love your responses because you speak from your own experience. Nothing is worse than someone who gives advice, yet they have never been through it personally. Keep writing! Keep responding in depth for that in which you have a passion for. This world is about supply and demand. There is a demand for your source of knowledge yet there is limited supply. I look forward to your generous wisdom.

    • profile image

      Dave36 3 years ago

      Thanks swilliams well i'm 41yrs old, & discovered all this kinda stuff around a year or so ago....All i would say in a book is basically, we're all responsible for our own feelings/emotions....So for example: If i was jealous of some guy who wins the lottery, what would be the cause of that jealousy?...."I wish it we're me" my mind would say, but i could ask my mind "why do you wish it we're me".....My mind would say "you can have all the things you want", then it would show me in my mind what i could have if i'd have won the lottery....If however i ask myself inside what i want in life, i might find out that i don't need to win the lottery....So we ask our heart/soul if you like, then we get busy doing fun stuff & stuff that helps others....If we do that i reckon we're actually shown what we want, & we're shown by receiving what we want....It might not always be what we think we need at the time, but we don't judge at the time we carry on regardless....Nothing i could say or a person could read will convince a person of what i say, but if they found their passions in life they might find that it doesn't include things they might have got jealous over....So once i had the realisation moment that i don't actually "want/need" to be rich/famous etc i no longer get feelings of jealousy....The best part about it all is that once you find your calling in life, everything else drops into place....To be honest that's the stage i'm at right now, & i'm expecting to find my calling any time now....Only because iv'e shed almost all of my negative thinking, & self talk etc, also iv'e been working on all my worries to eliminate them....All that adds up to no negativity in my life, which logically thinking must mean only positivity now for me & my life....I know my replies are LONG!lol, but it's hard to concise it down....I'll give you a tip that helped me massively, no matter what keep posting chatting etc whenever you feel like it....Because from what i gather nothing iv'e read has ever change my views/opinions, however the things iv'e wrote have....Now obviously the things i write are the things iv'e read, but the difference is iv'e tried the things i post....Until we try something for ourselves we can't ever realise something, so there's reading about life then there's the practising what we read.

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      'I am where I am spiritually/emotionally/mentally' I love that message Dave36. How many of us can say that. You are spiritually rich and that is what it takes to make it through this life. But I don't know Dave36 I'm awaiting your self-help book! I smell a bestseller! You have plenty to share with the world. The knowledge that you have will help so many people, especially the young people who have their goals in mind and then something happens that leads them on a new path. No one is honest enough to tell others how to overcome those bad times in life. Perhaps because they can't let go of the past. Thanks for your feedback! As always you have an insightful gift of knowledge! Thank you!

    • profile image

      Dave36 3 years ago

      Hey swilliams a great article, & i was thinking about this question a couple of days ago....I used to get jealous of rich/famous/successful people, but now i don't....What changed for me was when i started asking myself, what is it that i really want in life....I found out it wasn't to be rich or famous, it was to be successful....I want to be successful in life, & i want to successfully achieve whatever it is i'm here to achieve....For example when i was young i was tipped to become a pro soccer player in the UK, a bad injury ended that dream & i dwelt on it for years....When i look back now i'm glad i didn't make it as a pro soccer player, because i see what fame & fortune has done to them....I am where i am spiritually/emotionally/mentally, because of everything that happened to me in my past....I'm not rich or famous, but i am a real person & not an ego....I will never be financially rich because if i did i'd give most of it away, so all multi millionaires are in my opinion greedy ego's....Famous people are ego's, & if their rich there also greedy....So i'm not jealous of the guy with a Ferrari, because i don't need one myself my car doesn't define me....I'm not jealous of the good looking guy, because how does he know his partner really loves him, & not just the way he looks....If anything i actually feel empathy for rich/famous people, can they really learn the lessons in life they need to learn....Sure there are some good celebs etc, but not many that aren't selfish....If we add in the fact that most of us are responsible for what we get in life, there isn't any such thing as jealousy, there's only ever self pity....So who is there really to be jealous of?.